Anybody else desperately trying not to contact a guy?

[FuckSakeGetAGrip]

I am, and it's honest to god wrecking me.

Please tell me someone else is struggling too.

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine...

@Frith2013 gets even more intense when sex involved. Has he read the message or just not seen it?

Oh, he's read it. He's online all the time.

I'm still laughing about Badger Man.

Sorry to hear that. I hate it when they just choose to ignore! What's your take on badger man?

Omg yes - I am 40 with kids of 8 and 6. My libido was so low before this guy. Now I can't get enough sex - DH loves it, it's helped our marriage no end as the lack of sex was a bit of an issue over the last few years. So I keep kidding myself that actually this isn't so bad as it's helped us! 😂
I keep saying maybe I'm perimenopausal and it's the change in hormones.

I think peri is an awful lot to do with it.

Still not heard from him. Mind you he won’t miss me for ages. It’s not how he works

Can I join please? 2 days and counting at 13.07 today. Totally virtual, messages and the rest.. he then went really quiet Friday, had a quick conversation during the week, I messaged and called him and nothing since then.. Help me not contact him.. I know it is purely a dopamine hit but I did like him 😔

@winc how long have you known him?

Since October 2023 - he did the same over xmas and I stupidly went back in contact in late Jan when he contacted me. I know I am a complete idiot - I told him I was done, I can't put myself through it anymore.. I just need to be strong. Am trying to distract myself with work, walking, tidying - may have to resort to gardening this weekend ( which I detest!) just to not think about him. I know it is because I am lonely - separated, have kids most of the time so cannot even carve out any time for myself, no family around really and friends all busy with husbands and families..

Sorry for long message above but I think writing it down helps me see why I liked him -probably more the attention to be honest.. will stay strong..

Urgh I am struggling. Struggling struggling struggling. Not with contact. Just the sadness of missing my friend.

@winc no need to apologise. Honestly why do these men get our attention

@WeDreamInPhosphoresence stay strong. I’m going through the same today. I’ve probably painted the worst picture of him to you guys as he had changed quite a lot since the early days but I still need to keep away from him. I hope he’s ok though. I do get it

You can do it.. hour by hour.. just make it through the day

I do not know.. and he is not even anything special - just made me feel good and wanted I guess -makes a difference when you feel you could disappear and no one would even notice.

I do understand that. I have been the same

I’m struggling now. Gone for a walk and my phone is in my hand telling me to message him

Noooooooooo

DON'T -just put on some music. .My favourite at the moment is Queen's Don't by Rae Lynn -country music but the lyrics are apt - "Queens don't stay unless their king treats them right"

I'm furious with myself. He saw the message at 10:30 last night and then he was back online at 13:15 today and he's not replied. I need to STOP!

don't be, We have all been there. Archive or lock his messages. Helps a bit

I love this virtual support. I've managed to get back into a conversation with him but I'm feeling more neutral about his responses. I honestly think it's the dopamine hit for me - once I lose that (or find something healthier) I will be able to think about him more platonically (I hope)

How do you lock messages?

It’s like a lot of things we give up. Once you go a few weeks you’ll get the hit from elsewhere or at least life will move on and you’ll find you don’t need it.
Thanks by the way. I haven’t and won’t. I’m determined but messaging here helped x

Thank you for the thread. I really needed this wisdom last year. It had taken me a year to get over a 2year situationship. It took longer up get over because he kept popping up (we live less than a mile apart and are part of several social groups.
But I am now recovered -honestly /year ago I could not ever imagine being over it. Time is the only thing that helps.