Anybody else desperately trying not to contact a guy?

[FuckSakeGetAGrip]

I am, and it's honest to god wrecking me.

Please tell me someone else is struggling too.

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine...

This is honestly my fave thread ever. It's genuinely really helping me see straight again. For the first time in a long time.

Same here. I keep thinking about the nice part of him then remembering him calling me pathetic. Well I’m not pathetic any more!

So true @Ccaarroolliinnee

It's hard to look at the truth; I've sort of skirted around it for the past few months, but you know what I think now?

It's fine. It's fine. I mean, it's not like I hoped we'd skip off into the sunset together, he was just an ego boosting pleasant little distraction from life's mundanities, like I was for him. All fine.

So spooky as that’s the same for me too. A nice distraction from the routine but could never be more.

I'm new to this and don't know how to reply directly...but, I bet you were imagining forever with him! I want you to know that it's absolutely possible to recover from this bullshit and find someone that adores you. Just know what you deserve, weak men look for strong women to hold them up...pity them and wait for someone that deserves your love and devotion.

No, I really wasn't - I've already spent 20 years with a guy, and don't really want to do it all again. I'd rather be single and free than complicate so many lives for what... the chance to live with another man who also spends 40 minutes on the toilet either his phone?

Nah.

It was just glorious to feel interesting and sexy and desirable though.

No I also wasn’t. Jesus Christ he’s a nightmare so I couldn’t imagine being with him. Plus I’m already with the love of my life. He was just a guy who showed me a bit of attention when I needed it and then we forged something of a friendship. I’ve tried being friends but he always brings it back to sex talk so it’s time it finished. He always used to say he was worried I’d want more but I was like erm no definitely not.

The ego @namechangeforthis5 😂

The ego is the problem here too; gets him into some stupid shit and makes him look like an arse (once I was able to see it anyway).

Yes he definitely has an ego 🙄😂😂. Starting to think we have the same guy 🤣

Now that would be something 😂😂😂

😆😆

No I think there’s plenty of men like this out there. And is he very lovely and charming sometimes making you question yourself. Accuses you of being too intense when you ask questions?

Oh we never really got to the stage of talking about it. He tried a few times but I shut him down; he made some physical moves which I pretty much shut down.

That’s good then. I only ever tried to kiss him but I was very very drunk and never tried anything after that.

And that was only after he’d made the moves on me verbally. We never actually have even touched each other. Very weird how this has gone. I’m glad though.

I know what you mean. We've hugged a lot - you know, not necessarily innocent hugs - and held hands a couple times, and said stuff by text that is 100% deniable later.

Barely anything really.

I think they just wanted the ego boost. In both our cases. Attractive woman giving them a boost

Yeah, and so did I. I was in a shitty place and absolutely used him for that.

I was actually just talking about him in a work context and called him 'my former friend' which says it all really.

We were always going to either fuck or fall out so it had to blow up in one way or the other 😆

You know what though, it's unreal how much my tone has changed in the course of this thread; I was really devastated at the beginning and this has helped me feel so much better. To the point where I'm now a bit <shudders> at the thought of him.

That’s great actually! Really pleased for you. Progress 😀

I looked at my phone earlier hoping he hadn’t messaged so I think that’s progress too 🤣

Haha for sure it's progress

😊

And why have I gone downhill tonight. Oh that's right because I stupidly messaged him; I so wish my brain would stop automatically connecting certain things to him, my hand takes over before I even really think about it.

What’s happened?

Nothing, just a wee thing I was working on that's something we would have discussed before. Nothing major.

Anyway. Moving on from that boring shit.

Spent the evening doing my hobby which is always a big fat dopamine hit. Have eaten healthily, drank water, booked a holiday, and done my stupid mental health walk.