Anybody else desperately trying not to contact a guy?

[FuckSakeGetAGrip]

I am, and it's honest to god wrecking me.

Please tell me someone else is struggling too.

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine...

Thoughts to you posters tonight.
Ive done something silly and asked my whys

What happened @liveinthesticks ?

Come on now - what the heck?

Has he replied?

Thoughts to you all. I've been strong and not messaged him since last week when he offered my support and his one word reply "thanks" sent me into a rage. I'm sort of expecting him to message me today as we are seeing each other tomorrow for this dreaded project day. We will have to wait and see. Dreading it!

Guys I feel like we're generally doing an ok sort of job in winding things down...are we actually helping each other?!

(I'm the OP by the way I just name change a lot...)

Am I being pathetic. Be honest- I need it!

Yes you are all definitely helping me! Thank you for starting this thread as I felt completely alone x

I think I'm doing better too. I'm quite sad. But I don't feel desperate about it any more. Philosophical.

I'm so glad we're all here for each other.

This thread is wonderful Really helpful -I actually feel stronger. In my case we are several group chats (friendship circles so made it very hard when he ghosted me.
I avoid places I might meet him (whereas at the beginning I was hoping to see him) and was nervous last night when a mutual friend had a barbecue. Luckily he was probably not invited (didn’t ask!) None of the group know the details of our split and were initially perplexed as they thought we were the perfect couple. I did run into him a few weeks ago at a gig on our local pub and he monopolised me all evening hence why I try to avoid him. He doesn’t want me back but reminisces about the fun we had (lots of mutual interests). Met yesterday a friend who was there that night and she said a guy she met that night and had been seeing since asked her if ex and I were married as we seemed such a good couple 😔.
on the group chats he rarely posts but always likes or comments on mine.
But this thread is really helping to stay strong and not message him -hugely grateful.

I'm finding this thread so helpful. All of you, especially @AnnieSF comments. I needed a virtual slap. I have one friend in real life who is helping me too.

I am dreading tomorrow

I had a friend helping me but she's very over my shit so don't talk to her about it now at all.

I wondered what had happened to the Op and if you were ok. I posted earlier on in the thread. I'm enjoying keeping up with the thread because for me there is no one I would ever mention this to in real life, ever. I had said several months had passed and time makes it easier, which it definitely does, but I do find it comes in waves. The feeling of missing them that is. I actually think it might never go away completely. I'm just going to keep battling through and resist all temptation to make any contact. We can do it!

@TakeThePain she's a great friend and colleague (she knows him too). She's going to be working alongside him ALL day tomorrow. I get the feeling that she's getting to the end of her listening ear (it's been a solid 6 months). Hence why this group has been so great.

Yeah mine has had two solid years of my irredeemable insanity and has pretty much ditched me. Yet another fucking fantastic side effect. I don't blame her.

Nope, still unread….but that’s how he deals with things, ignore & hopes it’s goes away. It’s done now I’ve said my bit.

Good luck tomorrow

Someone I knew over 20 years ago, came back into my life last year (no romantic involvement). A bit silly to begin with & with one indiscretion but actually I thought had settled down to being really good friends, definitely too much of an emotional crutch for each other as both going through stuff. We don’t live near each other but were due to catch up a couple of months ago & poof the day I was travelling he blew me out, I got upset & I’ve not really heard from him since.

Wow @liveinthesticks that's shitty behaviour.

It's it strange how easily these men switch on and off, and compartmentalise. None of the women on this thread are able to do that.

Yeah I know, & I think I have every right to want to know what it was all about.

Yes we shouldn’t have messaged every day, but it wasn’t just me.

I let him into my life, gave him words of encouragement, advice, defended him to my friends & husband when he was ringing & messaging me with his latest self inflicted disaster, worried myself sick when he was depressed, but oh we did have some laughs.

I now need to put him in the past & just keep, keeping on. Fuck knows why I miss him. Well I do because he was there when I was going through stuff & he became my go to.

What happened with yours? I don’t talk about him anymore to my 2 closest friends…..they got completely fed up with me & couldn’t understand what I was doing.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 well I’ve gone on a bit, but this is really helping- glad I’m not the only one.
The saving grace with all this is that my husband must have picked up on something & started to notice me again & the one time it crossed a line physically reminded me that sex is fun 🤣

@liveinthesticks usually story, work friendship that went a bit far. We ran a business together actually which is very intense, high emotions a lot of the time, and we just got too close.

I really miss him now, I would rather be friends than any of that side shit. It just sort of evolved at one point into weirdness and I wish I could take it back. Or rather, that we both could.

Because I know it wasn't just me. And I salute his ability to shut it down really, but it also hurts like an absolute bastard some days.

@TakeThePain oh bless you. Yep it’s the friendship I miss as well.

What friendship is that? The friendship when he deigns to message you? The friendship when he is needing a booster is bored or is drunk? The friendship when he picks up his toy for some amusement? Come on now - let's put our sensible heads on.

Be strong today @drad!