Anybody else desperately trying not to contact a guy?

[FuckSakeGetAGrip]

I am, and it's honest to god wrecking me.

Please tell me someone else is struggling too.

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine...

This!

I always think when I’m tempted if I was single would my guy have lasted and the answer is no. Is he even a 10th of my husband. No. That’s my answer.

Bit harsh saying about 'think about your kids' it's like yeah I hadn't thought of that, thanks.

I know it wasn't aimed at me.

It’s right though. I do always think about mine but it’s right to say it

I need to hear all of this. I need a digital slap across the face.
I'm not going to ruin my life over him. You're all right, it'll be awkward and humiliating and I'll destroy something beautiful and real (my family) over someone who couldn't care less.

I'm feeling quite chill today. Maybe starting to move forwards? I dunno does that happen??

I'm happily married years now, but back in the day I had a very intense relationship with an absolute narcissist.
At the time I was so desperate to hear from him. I couldn't stop checking my phone.
My work suffered. It was hell on earth.

One day I blocked him from absolutely everything (took so much strength) but I instantly felt so so much lighter.
I'd taken some power back and knowing that the ability to hear from him or txt him with a few drinks was gone.

Best of luck x

I think these days happen and then hopefully happen a bit more and more then it's a slow path.

I think the same.

Mine would be a lot of work, and I can see why he drives his wife mental. And objectively the guy who drunk texts other women is a worse bet than the guy who wouldn't even dream of it (ie my husband).

It's just the dopamine really. And fuck me but he's my type...

IME it's not linear. Good days bad days. Good days then a small thing happens and it feels like being kicked in the stomach.

But yes. The weather is nice. I'm going to sit in the garden with a coffee. A good day. I choose that.

It has to be harsh though. What would you rather hear? Oh don't worry about your children. Your happiness is the most important thing ? That's fantasy land again isn't it? The reality is that none of these men is worth it. A man who cheats on a wife or partner with you. You are his option not his priority.

@AnnieSF I really appreciate the honesty and I know it. It's an awful affliction to be infatuated with someone. I must not let my attraction affect my judgement. I've not messaged back since he said "thanks". I'm not going to say anything to him on Tuesday . I'm going to be professional and aloof and busy myself with my job.

I have been there too and escaped. At the time you make irrational decisions. You make bad decisions. You tell yourself lies. Heck you even believe that he really loves you. Someone who loves you doesn't do these things to you - not answer messages, send you messages when you are out and about without him to implant him in your mind, tell you he can't message you at weekends or on holiday but sure as heck he will message you when you are on holiday.

You sound as if you have this in your grasp! You really do! It's just this hurdle and you can take that. You're a competent accomplished woman and that is what often attracts them. They want to destroy though what you are. I have a good feeling about this. It will be tough but expect that and you are prepared. Good luck!

Don’t know why but my text person has been on my mind today, wondering if he is ok…..he is probably in his usual mess. Does he ever think about me? Time wasted as my life is pretty good.
Just miss the, you ok?
The banter & laughs, sharing the hi’s & lows, just in general cheering each other on …..

That is normal and I get it too but intermingled with ‘I also feel this is done’. I’m determined not to message when he returns from his holiday. Whenever I feel weak I think about my little family and his wife and kid too.

Yeah I also feel 'this time it's done' even though we've been round and round a few times before. I think that's it now. We've no reason to see each other ever again, which feels sad but not as devastating as it once did.

Funny how time moves you on even against your will.

Yes I agree. We’ve been at this five years and nothing has happened other than some naughty phone chats which I’m not proud of. He always blames me as well so fuck him

Yeah. It's sad. Before we fucked it up I thought we'd know each other forever.

Maybe you didn’t fuck it up.

We did, if we hadn't let the texts go over the line we could still be in touch guilt-free.

I mean maybe that had to happen. Ours were like it from the beginning

I guess. A few things have happened today which make me think it's time to block him. Nothing between us, just seeing stuff on social media that is a connection, and it upsets me.

I know this doesn't make a lot of sense without the whole context I don't want to give, but I'm trying to leave an entire awful time of my life behind, and he was a big part of it.

I understand completely. You don’t have to say more if you don’t want to

I feel guilty about saying goodbye to mine