Anybody else desperately trying not to contact a guy?

[FuckSakeGetAGrip]

I am, and it's honest to god wrecking me.

Please tell me someone else is struggling too.

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine...

@wiggywoowoo you are not head over heels for him trust me

I’m pleased mine is on holiday and like I said I told him I didn’t expect to hear from him anymore or at least until he gets back. He said he appreciated that but I sort of did it for me too.

Mine messaged me last night to tell me his Nans been in hospital this week. He does this kind of thing a lot. No message for a few days then a few giving me an update on his life like he's a good friend.

Never asks about my life and I don't tell him anything.

Got to work with him pretty closely today 😕

Waking up and thinking: another day where our friendship is over and we don't speak.

I just really miss the friendship we had. It was a lot of fun.

Sorry to hear that

I actually think if mine was in another life we could be friends. I’m so confused 😕

We were great friends. Just had a weird period where things went too far and now we can't go back to normal. It was so stupid.

@TakeThePain what happened ?

It doesn't really matter. Old story, close colleagues at work, things went off the deep end slightly, it had to stop.

I just miss my mate, not the flirty stuff. Would just like my friend back, but we fucked it.

@TakeThePain yeah I understand. We were friends too and now it's weird because we obviously have feelings. Maybe time will help.

@chasegirl how have you responded?

@wiggywoowoo sounds like he is jealous and sort of wanting reassurance that your thing with him is special

I did respond just said I was sorry to hear that and hope she recovers.

He just acts like nothing happened at work, still acts like we are friends etc

@chasegirl good response. Mature and civil. Have to take the high road sometimes!

Honestly we all need to give ourselves a shake!

Difficult tho 😕 I just want to tell him.he lead me on, made me think something was happening like I was important to him then he pulls away, no explanation or letting me know it wasn't working for him. I just had to work that out for myself 😡

Don't give him the power or the satisfaction @chasegirl

Do you now see that you didn't have to do this and that you wanted to make this contact? You think well I'm a nice person and this is what a friend would do. Your mind was making up excuses and it ended with you feeling worse. Learn from this.

That's how I'm viewing it now. We’re not friends, we never really were, and we don't need to be, so I don’t need to do the nice things that a friend would. I've stopped myself sending a birthday message, because there really is no point. It'd only be an ego stroke for him and disappointment for me. I'm focusing my attention on existing good relationships instead and making plans with other friends.

Yes that’s what I’m doing.
just sat outside it’s Friday night, I’m having dinner a drink - sent my funny little photo of that to my reel friends instead. Whilst waiting for my actual lovely husband to cook my dinner 😊

@AnnieSF absolutely. Thanks so much for this! I'm honestly such a fool. If anyone had sent me such a lovely message as the one I sent him I'd at least say "thanks for a nice message, means a lot" or just something a bit more than "thanks". I mean, I know he's technically replied but cmon! I actually had a sleepless night worrying about his well-being and what I should do. Incident was very difficult for all involved and involved my direct team too.
I'm seeing him Tuesday. I honestly don't know how I'm going to manage. When I saw him this week my heart almost exploded into my throat. I'm in charge of what's happening on Tuesday at work so I will be very busy but he will be very distracting and I am very nervous. Am thinking about telling him how I feel. Bad / good idea?

Bad bad bad idea. He knows love, he's just not that bothered.

@TakeThePain I just feel like if he said to my face that he didn't feel the same then I could have closure and move on.

Honestly don’t do it. It won’t end well

You wouldn't! You'd be hurt and humiliated, have given him all of your power, and be back on this thread regretting it hard.

He's not going to take you on your desk and be all 'oh thank god, I love you too, let's fuck then run away together'.

It'll be awkward and awful.

Here's an idea. Think about your two little children instead. And your husband. How would you feel about only seeing them 50% of their little lives? How would you feel about them having a stepmum? You can do this on Tuesday. You've had a bit of a break and each time you " go back" it's not the same - it's really not!

Are you saying you are ready to split up your family for him if he happened to feel the same? If I were you though I would be thinking about how badly he treats you currently.