Partner won't help pay for family car

[LIzo1234]

My partner and I have been together for 17 years and have two kids together. We have a joint account and share most household bills. Recently our very old car has had to go to car heaven and we've got to get a new one. The problem is that my my partner feels that, since he doesn't need a car to get to work, as he works locally, I should pay for it.

This is partly because he doesn't like cars (for environmental reasons) but I can't get to my job without one and we need one for family holidays, weekend trips away etc.

I have spent the past two weeks researching cars (I think I could do a degree in car makes now!). I've found one that seems right. It's £12,000 which nowadays is pretty standard, if not cheap but he thinks that's too much and doesn't want to contribute.

Do you think that's fair? Am I being unreasonable in expecting that we would half the cost?

I also live with a committed environmentalist. However he’s not a dick. He’s rather live carless and never get on a plane again but he recognizes that cars are needed for holidays, days out and to take the kids to extra curricular stuff and crucially to get me to work (he wfh). So he puts up with it.

particularly if you have offstreet parking I’d look into an electric. You will be able to get an older one with a decent if not huge range (say 150 miles) for around £10k. We love ours. Would that sway him?

Oh and for a EV you don’t need to live somewhere where there are public chargepoints. You just get your own. Though we coped for a year happily with just a three pin plug.

That only works if you can park outside your house.

Buy the car you want and pay for it yourself. Only you and the children use it. He can walk or cycle on his own enjoying the balmy weather of Northumberland.

Which I mentioned in my previous post

Which I mentioned in my previous post

And the OP has mentioned that she doesn't live somewhere where this is possible.

It sounds like she's looked into all possible options tbf. At the end of the day she needs a car 🤷🏼‍♀️

Actually its genius, but very weird genius.

Doesn't like cars for "environmental" reasons.
😂

But is happy the have two children.

🙄

Is he hypocritical about any other aspects of his character?

Shiny paint and clean looking doesn't make it a good car, it can still be a shit box mechanically, which is what counts.
£12,000 for a car now days doesn't get a newish car unfortunately.
Dil bought one for 6k and it looked gorgeous, a Ka ran nice etc.
Dh spent many hours fixing it up once she got it just to make sure it ran well and each MOT it needed all sorts doing, don't go cheap unless your Dh or Fil is a mechanic with his own workshop and time to do stuff.

Agree with PP. And also OP presumably wants something that will last many years, otherwise she will be having this argument again and again.

I hunted for a wee run around for ds two years ago after he graduated and came home (working from home but needed a car to get to rugby training). Started off with a budget of £2,000, but ended up having to go up to £2,500 - and that was buying privately off FB Marketplace and not via a dealer. (Fortunately we have a friendly mechanic who could check over any potential purchase).

It couldn't be too old as there is a LEZ in Glasgow, so it had to be newer than 2007.

What I found eventually was a 10 year old Mazda2. Now that might be too small for the OP, depending on the age of her their kids and the sort of families they go on.

While it might be possible to find something suitable for less than £12,000, you need to balance that up against ongoing maintenance and MOT costs and also when it will need to be replaced again (and have to go through the argument again ).

Alternatively, charge dh 45p a mile (which iirc is what HMRC allows for mileage to cover both petrol and depreciation costs) every time he comes with you on family holidays and half that for every time you need to take the kids places (since he is half responsible for their creation )

Of course shiny paint doesn't equal a good car, I'm not an imbecile. I've had 3 Toyotas, all bought for about £500, each one was great, had one about 9 years (didn't have shiny paint but was an excellent car), the following 2 were also great and we gave away in the end as we moved abroad. I would never hesitate to get an old Toyota again. Cheap parts, cheap to fix, go through the Mot like a dream.

I am seriously pissing myself laughing at the image of someone carting their supermarket shopping home in a wheelbarrow 😂😂😂

WTF! Why doesn't he just use a shopping trolley like a rational person?

Don't people point and laugh as he labours his way home? Don't the local druggies nick loads of stuff as he trundles along?

I've never heard anything so stupid in all my life!!!

The main issue is that he is behaving like a single man responsible only for himself. He has a family. That family lives rurally. That family needs a car. It doesn't matter who will be driving the thing, he is also responsible for providing it.

I don't drive that much and not really in daily life (we live in a city and I mostly WFH), but I still pay proportionately towards the family car which was originally my DH's. And when he takes our DC climbing on the weekend because I don't like the drive to the centre, I say "thank you", I don't start trying to knock a few quid off my contribution because "I" don't need the car at weekends. The car is for our children and our family life, regardless of who drives it the most.

Wait what? He takes a wheelbarrow to the grocery store?

Is he another one who wants to live an idealistic life off grid whilst being supported by his partner? Or is he happy for you to buy a car and he never uses it? What with his principles and all? Of course he'd rather not work at all. We would all rather not work.

It sounds like a car is a necessity for you and your DC. I'd buy the car and never ever let him in it.