Partner won't help pay for family car

[LIzo1234]

My partner and I have been together for 17 years and have two kids together. We have a joint account and share most household bills. Recently our very old car has had to go to car heaven and we've got to get a new one. The problem is that my my partner feels that, since he doesn't need a car to get to work, as he works locally, I should pay for it.

This is partly because he doesn't like cars (for environmental reasons) but I can't get to my job without one and we need one for family holidays, weekend trips away etc.

I have spent the past two weeks researching cars (I think I could do a degree in car makes now!). I've found one that seems right. It's £12,000 which nowadays is pretty standard, if not cheap but he thinks that's too much and doesn't want to contribute.

Do you think that's fair? Am I being unreasonable in expecting that we would half the cost?

Absolutely. The children will be mortified when they realise this isn't normal.

Get a cheaper car?

I like the idea of charging car hire fee to the joint account.

Taking a wheelbarrow to do the shopping is fucking insane

Can he drive?
Or do you do all the driving at weekends?

Has he got an allotment, does he recycle everything possible, does he only take showers, does he only buy secondhand furniture and clothing?

Is he a real environmentalist or just a when he wants his own way environmentalist?

Or just to him!

Quicker than he could say 'wheelbarrow'. That's crazy. As is moaning about a necessary car's impact on the environment when you've had two children...

Sorry he's being weird, OP.

A second hand car is one that already exists. Since it does, better that it is used to the point of failure than scrapped “before its time”

Separately - if he thinks £12k is too much, does he have a specific amount that he thinks is OK eg £8k? Then he can find a reliable fuel efficient second hand car for that £.

I'm going to go against the grain but I feel you do benefit more by having a car than he does so whilst he should chip in something, I don't think you should expect him to pay £6,000 towards one.

You can go on all sorts of holidays without a car. You don't necessarily need one for the kids.

Hmm, he sounds like an idealistic twat.

Perhaps work out what a car rental would cost for major things like holidays and 'charge' that to the joint account. And for day to day things what a train ticket would cost (because they're not bloody cheap) or bus passes and charge that amount to the joint account, and put those amounts towards the car.

Because having the car means you don't incur those costs.

Is the car used for school runs, kids sports, doctors appointments, visiting family etc … if so then yes it really is a family car and he should contribute.

However, if it is mostly for your work then can you get an electric bike or a cheaper car and hire cars when needed for holidays ( or take a train to a holiday spot since it’s his passion)

Also really takes a wheelbarrow to the supermarket my legs just clamped shut … eek

Surely if it's mainly used for work you don't need a £12000 car? I wouldn't go halves on that. You can get far cheaper cars that perhaps don't look as good but do the job. It sounds like he doesn't really get much use of it tbh.

He takes a wheelbarrow to the supermarket?

Oh my God.
That cant be true.

I'm with others, so just buy a small car with 2 seats only and no luggage space. Use it for what you need and if he asks for any use of it at all, say no. You bought it for you alone out of your own money.

Or leave him to his wheelbarrow permanently.

He takes a wheelbarrow? You can’t be serious! Your kids will get bullied to fuck if that’s true.

Buying a 2 seater car would be cutting off her nose to spite her face, no? Given the kids need lifts sometimes.

I agree with the comment about noticing you’re not married.
This isn’t surprising now he’s wanting you to pay for something on your own after 17 years!

But now I’m stuck on the wheelbarrow. What?!

He sounds like an absolute fun sponge to live with.

Does anyone else have a sort of grudging admiration for the wheelbarrow thing? He may be a twerp but he really does stand by his ideas!

Anyway, what about a second-hand hybrid?

In all decisions OP, remember that you aren’t married and what that could mean if one day he decides to up sticks and bus-it to a far away off-grid commune.

Sounds like he’s anti car rather than being tight and would be perfectly fine without one

Having seen your update, it sounds like he is genuinely committed to living without a car and wouldn't have one if you didn't want one.

I sort of understand where he's coming from

ageee he is BU but in terms of solutions - can you get a vespa??

Could you get to work on public transport? Would it cost more a year than running a car?

could you cope as a family without your income if you can’t get to work without a car and/or with the reduced disposable income from paying out for public transport?

if you need your wage and a car to access your job from your current home, would he be open to moving house closer to your work?

I couldn't live with a man who took a wheelbarrow to the supermarket when there's a perfectly good car sitting on the drive.

What's Mr Eco Warrior doing going to the supermarket anyway. Think of the airmiles. Surely he should be growing all his own food.

I actually think that's fair enough on his part, if he rarely gets any benefit from the car but effectively covers half the cost of your commuting fuel.

Mi can't imagine being married to a looney like him let alone a tight fisted looney.

Imagine not living your best life or allowing your wife and children to because you'd rather all the palaver of using public transport when you can afford a car!

Buy the car out of joint finances and let the Luddite carry on taking the bus!

Simple solution when you go on holiday though - you and the kids use the car, he can get himself there on public transport. Going to the beach for the day? You and the kids use the car, he gets himself there.

He sounds like a total prick. How have you put up with him so long?