I commented earlier and you can see my posting history over the years where I’ve spoken about being a stripper, years ago. I always say the same thing about these clubs. This is just my reflections of my experience.
Strip clubs are dire, grim, revolting places.
Good men do not set foot in them. Ever.
They are sleazy places that exploit just about everyone. They’re a stain on society.
They exploit the women who work in them.
Don’t be fooled, dancers are not ‘business women’ like a previous poster suggested. We were vulnerable and exploited. I worked in “high end” (what an oxymoron - high end strip club!) clubs, where we were supposedly looked after and treated well. I dread to think what my colleagues at other clubs were treated like if we were deemed treated well.
Not all dancers are prostitutes or trafficked. Pretty much all dancers would rather be anywhere else on earth than where they are. Nobody as a child aspires to be a stripper.
Working as a dancer meant we were constantly under scrutiny from club managers, colleagues and the punters. You only have to look at that punter rating site to see what vile comments men feel they can make when they purchase your time.
Please don’t be fooled that men come into those places because the women are “hot”. Many come in because they like to tell dancers that their boobs are saggy or their thighs are fat. Or to pit women against one another. Eg they’d tell their wives dancers are sexy but would tell the dancers that they’re not enough because they were scabby dancers with no education. Or they’d pit dancers against one another. Power thing again. Deep patriarchal culture.
It has nothing to do with how the girlfriend or wife isn’t sexy enough or the dancer is sexier. It’s a power trip for the man. This is going to sound very rude and horrible, but I have to say it to reiterate my point. Some of my fellow dancers were not in the slightest bit attractive. Did the men care? Never. They just don’t seem to care!
So please - as hard as it is - don’t think you’re not enough. You are. Any husbands or boyfriends visiting these hellholes aren’t there to find or look at better women, they’re there because they are “asserting their power“ and they feel so bloody entitled that they think they can pay to look at any woman they like naked.
I can’t comment on the prostitution aspect. In the clubs I worked in, it seldom happened. If it did and the women were caught, they were fined by management and fired. It is something I never did despite being offered pretty much every shift I worked. I was literally there to pay for my university fees (international student and not eligible for a student loan, so working at asda wouldn’t cut it) and then get the hell out of there.
My colleagues were all such vulnerable women. Single mums. Some with addiction issues. Some with other issues. No dancer I worked with didn’t have some sort of issue in their life despite when first meeting they were “just a student looking for easy money”.
For me, visiting a strip club is cheating. I wouldn’t be involved with a man who visits them.
I know some women do visit clubs with their partners. I had many. I hated this. Yes, I would tone the dance down tenfold. Yes it was awkward for everyone. Yes, the men always act differently when their partner is there. Yes, I always felt sorry for the woman who was deluding herself that she was enjoying it but knowing she was living with a man who believes women are a commodity that can be purchased.
They are just very gross places.
That day I last walked out of work was one of the best days of my life! I never look at men the same because I know how disgusting most of them are.
I had MPs, uni professors, bank managers, lawyers, judges, teachers, headmasters, child protection workers, policemen etc all visit. People who I always believed were good people. What a let down. TBH the ‘nicest’ and most respectful punters were usually builders funny enough.
Sorry for the long blurb. I just want all women to know that if your partner does visit these places, it is zero reflection on you or your looks or your sexiness. You are enough. It’s this fucking world we live in that is based on sexist and patriarchal values that allow men to believe they can always have more than they deserve if they pay for it.