Have been through exactly the same thing, it finally cost me a flight and a cancelled two week holiday to get rid of my ex.
Best decision I EVER made.
I have since had therapy to address why I had such anxiety about being single, and why my self esteem was so low that I couldn’t immediately see that only a very nasty sadistic person would treat me this way, and that I could do much better.
I had been afraid of being alone and lonely, and had stuck around for the “good” times, I was able to disconnect myself from the emotional abuse, I later realised it was because I was used to it from childhood.
My therapist taught me how to self soothe and self care in various ways… to give love to myself instead of seeking it elsewhere.
I also learned being single doesn’t mean being lonely… I have enrolled myself in so many clubs and classes, I’m so busy now I don’t have a chance to feel lonely! I enjoy the peace and quiet after socialising with healthy non abusive people.
Free yourself, it doesn’t have to be this way, you will need to do some work to take charge of yourself and learn and grow and change. You can do it, it’s much easier than you think.
Ditch this looser, he is a looser in so many senses of the word.
Go fly! Go be happy! Shake it all off! Enjoy your days! Who needs this misery! Laugh and dance and throw yourself into life!
Hugs and love and kindness to you. 💐
Also, it was my mistake to try to get my stuff back, ex tried to have that dragging on for ages and used it to create more manipulation, emotional blackmail, drama, tears!
That was many years ago now, the stuff I had left behind wasn’t that valuable, I wish I had said I don’t care what you do with my things and moved on, I would have saved myself a lot of ongoing emotional turmoil. Wisen up! Many other women here have seen the same! You don’t need to experience his crap yet again, save yourself and swan off into the sunset! x