Can someone give a handhold? Partner tried to ruin my trip

[Random100]

Partner has a habit of ruining things. Any special occasion he kicks off to try and spoil it. He’s very childish in nature, tantrums a lot etc etc. I know I need to leave him.

I have been staying at his for a few days so has a few belongings at his. I’m off on holiday this morning with a friend and he’s been kicking off in the lead up to it. He has said multiple times he would take me to the airport, I paid for a tank full of fuel this evening as it’s double the distance that my house is from the airport.

He’s been making snide comments that I must hate him this evening. I went to bed early to try and get some sleep and he joined me not long after. All of a sudden he launched out of bed, screamed at me that I was making him physically uncomfortable in bed and stormed off, shouting his head off. I was in tears at this point.

He has just declared I must go to the airport by myself now and that he’s not taking me. He wants my belongings out the house too.

Sat in tears looking at an Uber costing me 90 quid.

True.

But i suppose the nextflix shows would be pretty boring.

Introducing 'Dirty John'.
Synopsis: he leaves the toilet seat up.

I am back in the UK and police have been notified after receiving a text from a mutual friend saying he’s been threatening me behind my back.

Glad you are back safely and that police are aware. He absolutely had his eye on moving into your place and - thankfully - he couldn’t keep his true colours under wraps long enough.

Certainly seems keen on shooting himself in the foot doesn't he. That's good the police are up to speed. Hopefully he'll back off soon! Definitely stay at a pals for a bit.

He's actively threatening you now. You'll have the police reference number and will hopefully be making a full statement if you haven't had time to yet.

Please ensure everyone you know is aware what he has done so they understand what's really happening if he spreads lies.

My ex SIL's next bf turned very nasty and took to messaging everyone she knew, including me, with rants veering between can't live without her and she's stolen from me. There's a restraining order. My stepsister's ex broke her hand. Another restraining order. He still gets access to their kid.

This stuff escalates and it's brilliant you never lived with him, never had a child. Hopefully although you paid for everything, you didn't have shared finances.

And do not give in to any demands to move in with you (because it will of course be all your fault. = DARVO in action).

He's threatened your neighbours who have a child, he threatening you, he's trashed his rented house.

Ask police advice about ensuring your home is secure.

I hope the police take his threats seriously. He sounds unhinged.

A Clares law request has also been submitted.

Virtual handhold @Random100 - you are doing all the right things, stay strong x

Proud of you for getting yourself away from this lunatic and contacting the police. Stay safe, thinking of you

He has been chatting to a mutual friend who was naturally concerned about it all and has reached out to me to say that he’s been making threats, he wants to ‘punish’ me etc. it’s all quite unnerving and those details were also passed onto the police. Mutual friend has tried to calm him down but he was ranting and raving down the phone at him. This has all stemmed from the fact I dared to go abroad with a friend.

Mutual friend warned that he was saying he wanted to come to the airport. We have jumped into a taxi and are out of here now and I haven’t seen him but wanted to get out asap as I had a horrible feeling he might try to do that!

Well done OP. Stay strong, document everything for the police, and inform your family/close friends. Can someone stay with you, or you stay elsewhere? Do you have a ring doorbell? You also need to ask the police to flag your address/phone number, so if a 999 call comes in from you/your neighbour, there's an immediate response

I am feeling really jittery and scared to be honest, and quite teary!

Does he know the friends address and contact details? I assume he knows your address. Do you think he might have the ability to track your phone?

I'm not surprised, you poor thing. But thank fuck he didnt take you to the airport, and he kicked off like this while you were away.....it would have been a million times worse if something had set him off with you there

Hang on in there, Random. You are doing all the right things.

I have just turned off find my iPhone, thank god you mentioned that because we both didn’t think of it!

You are doing all the right things, give yourself a clap on the back!
Don't look at this as 8 months wasted, look at it as years saved!!

These men should have a big red A for abuser tattooed on their foreheads 😠

If you can, stay with your friend for a few days, stay safe! 💐

Perfectly understandable you poor thing! I'm glad you have friends watching out for you.

Odd that he phoned a male friend to rant about you. Maybe trying to scare him away from protecting you. They don't want you having other men around that have your back. Looks like that backfired.

He obviously knows where I live but doesn’t know where friend lives. I have a flatmate so I wouldn’t be alone however I don’t want to go home just yet because I am nervous he’d turn up.

Of course you're teary, it's awful what you're going through.
A favourite saying of mine when things get tough.... This too shall pass.
Continue blocking and ignoring, don't give him any oxygen.

Yeah I think I'd hold off going back for a bit. Are the police intending to speak to him do you know?

Vary your routes and times too and from work for the time being if you're staying at your mates for a few days.

@Random100 we all sadly come across people like him.

The one thing I work hard at is making sure I leave their behaviour with them.

My 1st hubby was violent. I told my manager. Someone vetted all my calls. He rocked up at the office and my manager (ex police officer) marching him away and escorted me to my car. My director asked me if I wanted him sacked (we worked for diff divisions in the same organisation) and I said no because it would make things far worse. So pls tell your employer. Tell them he's abusive and if he turns up to call the police because he has form. They will help you.

Big hug and good luck x

Oh love this is so bloody awful. I'm so glad you got away when you did. Hopefully he's done enough to be arrested. We're all here

Also make sure your flatmate is aware. Tell the police that that person is potentially at risk too (if he turns up there).

Is your flatmate aware of the situ, they may be in danger.