Can someone give a handhold? Partner tried to ruin my trip

[Random100]

Partner has a habit of ruining things. Any special occasion he kicks off to try and spoil it. He’s very childish in nature, tantrums a lot etc etc. I know I need to leave him.

I have been staying at his for a few days so has a few belongings at his. I’m off on holiday this morning with a friend and he’s been kicking off in the lead up to it. He has said multiple times he would take me to the airport, I paid for a tank full of fuel this evening as it’s double the distance that my house is from the airport.

He’s been making snide comments that I must hate him this evening. I went to bed early to try and get some sleep and he joined me not long after. All of a sudden he launched out of bed, screamed at me that I was making him physically uncomfortable in bed and stormed off, shouting his head off. I was in tears at this point.

He has just declared I must go to the airport by myself now and that he’s not taking me. He wants my belongings out the house too.

Sat in tears looking at an Uber costing me 90 quid.

As someone said further up the thread, where do they find the script! My husband used to say he would kill himself if I left. Well he is currently on police bail, with a non mol, etc etc….. and he is in a room at a relative’s…. Drinking a maintenance level of 2 bottles a day, sinking further into a pit. The alcohol will kill him, not him. I say this with no pleasure, just deep sadness. It is all so textbook. You will look back and be thankful for a lucky escape x

It's a well known narcissistic mindset and tactic.

"Yes I hurt you but now you hate me, so I'm the true victim."

Absolute rockets aren't they?

So sorry you’re well shoot of him, just make sure you don’t go for a similar type next time. While reading this I remembered my ex husband acting like this . Then I picked a controlling jealous boy friend, who I finally left.
Please don’t make my mistake.
Im now happily single and loving life.

Oh OP this is awful. So sorry you're going through this. I hope you have a wonderful time away

You’re in a Coercive, controlling abusive relationship. Which will only get worse if you allow it to continue. I would block him and cease all contact.

It seems to be when ever you’re doing anything with someone else (eg: the 40th birthday and now the holiday) that’s coercive behaviour. He’s said he’ll bring your stuff round when you get back, because he plans on trying to get you to take him back so that he can control you again. Don’t give in, have someone else there when he comes round, or better still go with someone to collect it from his. Don’t read his texts while you’re on holiday just Forget about him now and enjoy your holiday.

Why would you be loving to him he was a horrible arse .
He tried to sabotage your holiday like every other event .
Glad you have blocked him and I’d keep it this way for good .
Tbh I’d get a new number as narcassist dont give up very easily if ever .

Well done OP, have a great holiday and look forward to a great future without this abusive man.

Have a great holiday without him.

A long time ago I realised that drama and narcs had no place in my life. If he wants to harm himself let him go ahead and do it.

Your partner, is a Narcissist. The ruining everything is a major red flag. Pay the taxi, take your stuff and don’t return. If he tries to contact you, block on everything. Read up on Narcissism once you’ve had a lovely holiday with your friends.

Threats of suicide were sooooo predictable; he was always going to ramp it up once he realised he was not having the desired effect of disrupting your holiday.

Keep him blocked forever, and consider the things you left at his house a worthy sacrifice for your freedom from him.

I apologise for the OT but reading the relationship board and people's description of the narc mindset helped me when a work manager did exactly this. I complained about the cliquiness in the dept and the low level bullying (of which she was part, altho I didn't explicitly say that) and she went off into ranting about how much I'd hurt her. Without MN I'd not have had the weapons to deal with it and would have believed I was in the wrong.

Anyway, OP. Glad you've seen the light, hope you are enjoying the hols and that DP is duly dumped on your return.

That’s a FABULOUS idea 😀

This is such an abusive, manipulative relationship, I really hope that you take everyone’s advice and leave this man for good. Look at what attracts you to these kind of men, no one should be treated like this . He sounds like a very sad, troubled person.

Just another thought-alert your friends(and especially any mutual friends) about you leaving him. He WILL attempt to get access to you through them, and will try to recruit them to his side. Narcissists are ruthless in who they use, your friends will be fodder to him. And as several posters have said on here already, be especially alert to your personal safety when you get home from your holiday. Good luck and if you can, let us know how you are when you return home.

OP have a fanatic holiday alone and know that your life will improve 100 percent when you go back
No anxiety about someone else's moods is wonderful

Well done for blocking him OP.

When you get back keep him blocked and ask a friend to message him on your behalf telling him it’s over and to not contact you.

If you have contact he’s going to guilt/scare you into seeing him and getting back with you.

He’s a vile bully and you deserve so much better.

Good thought! 🌹

Dump him, forget him and enjoy your holiday.

I am having a lovely holiday thank you. Just what I needed.

As he is blocked on my phone and therefore is not receiving any messages from me he has since turned to email. I received a long ranty email today that the police have turned up at his door again because of ‘noise complaints’. He was ranting and raving over email about the police and how they’re all ‘dickheads’ and that they’re not coming in without a warrant. He has threatened to hurt his neighbours recently so I think that has something to do with it. He is a very very angry man in general which I’ve only really just realised. He’s angry at the world.

I have blocked him there too.

For a bit of background him and his immediate neighbours are at loggerheads constantly. The neighbours have made various noise complaints about him (when I’ve not been there) as he plays music loud, will scream and shout at the neighbours through the walls and has made up accusations about them. He will then contest it all by saying they’re the ones making all the noise. it’s fucking exhausting and I got to the point I was sick of hearing about it.

Well done on the blocking xxx

He's a lunatic.

Maybe they've shown up again out of concerm for your saftey.

It sounds like you've got out just in the nick of time. As prior posters said, be prepared for him contacting your friends/family next.

Ps: I bet the neighbours will be so relieved for you when they see you're not going round there anymore. They were probably worried you'd leave in a body bag.