Can someone give a handhold? Partner tried to ruin my trip

[Random100]

Partner has a habit of ruining things. Any special occasion he kicks off to try and spoil it. He’s very childish in nature, tantrums a lot etc etc. I know I need to leave him.

I have been staying at his for a few days so has a few belongings at his. I’m off on holiday this morning with a friend and he’s been kicking off in the lead up to it. He has said multiple times he would take me to the airport, I paid for a tank full of fuel this evening as it’s double the distance that my house is from the airport.

He’s been making snide comments that I must hate him this evening. I went to bed early to try and get some sleep and he joined me not long after. All of a sudden he launched out of bed, screamed at me that I was making him physically uncomfortable in bed and stormed off, shouting his head off. I was in tears at this point.

He has just declared I must go to the airport by myself now and that he’s not taking me. He wants my belongings out the house too.

Sat in tears looking at an Uber costing me 90 quid.

I am also betting your ex made the story about the police up, but if it is true, they’re still going to see through his story. Calling them to log your own concerns (beat him to the punch/make the police aware of his behaviour) is good advice.
My adoptive father was very similar, including manufacturing miniature disasters for us to come home to if we did go out without him, and having falls/other things happen if he went out by himself.
Being constantly on edge because of someone else’s selfish, attention seeking behaviour is no way to live, so I echo all the advice to block and ditch him.
Get the £90 back if you can, but if not, stop dealing with him and draw a line in the sand now.

Utter bullshit.
Honestly OP he is lying. He wants to spoil your holiday remember?
He's clutching at straws now.
Next he'll be "in A&E" with a suspected life threatening condition.
You need to enjoy your holiday. You need to block him or you're not going to be left alone.

Its bullshit. Please block him, you need to stop him having access to you while you're away or he will ruin your holiday with his invented dramas. Not to mention ruin your friends holiday because you will be distracted with your phone and obsessing about every message.
I wouldn't be surprised if he had some sort of health scare next, that's the usual escalation when other stuff hasn't worked.
Please listen to all these women telling you to block him. They are speaking from experience. These men all follow the same script

Op have you considered that this is the not the first time he has acted like this with a woman? I bet you he has form for this and that's why the neighbours called the police. Block forget about money n think of it as a lesson learned. Do not get sucked back into his drama. Forget him and enjoy your holiday

I agree that the next escalation could be a serious illness/suicide attempt or threat as a last ditch attempt to get you back under his control. In case he tries this remind yourself you have dumped him so he is no longer your concern.

He's an abusive prick. Block now

Hopefully ops turned her phone off and is just enjoying her holiday.

The only power these people have once you are out is how much you give them. Once your home op you can simply text him it's over refuse to ever see him again.

If he starts any shit, let the police deal with him.
Any nonsense like self harm threats, again, still don't reply, just let the police deal with it.

If you have any of his stuff, post it back to him signed for delivery or have a pal take it to him. Same for your stuff.

Life's too short to date narcissists.

I really hope you're enjoying your trip @Random100 and not letting that dickhead affect you.
Block him and keep him blocked. If the police come calling, tell them what happened and show them the messages. He really sounds like an awful person, please, please please don't go back to him!

He’s just trying to ruin your holiday by sending you this bullshit. The police would turn up for a domestic, my DH or his team does every time, they prioritise these incidents. There will be no ramifications for you, no crime was committed.

Hoping you’ve turned off your phone and having a lovely time with your friend.

He has form for this too and has sent a text today saying he doesn’t want to be alive anymore. I feel awful for not responding to that because I do know he struggles badly with his mental health, but I also know he’s trying to suck me in again.

Apart from this having a lovely holiday and it is very nice being away from him and his awful temper.

I have realised how much weight is now off my shoulders being away from him physically and mentally. I have been brought down by his constant drama and negativity. I feel lighter just from being away from him in a physical sense!

Just block him while away, you should not be reading his rants while on holiday. At the very least archive them and don't read them until you get back. It will do him good to be left on unread, just stop texting him.

Dont rise to his bait, dont bite this lure.
Really hope you didn't reply to any of his messages.

If at any time you are genuinely worried he might harm himself then call the police/share texts or messages with them and they can do a welfare check. Explain the situation to them - he has mental health and anger issues, that you have ended the relationship and are in no way responsible for him or his actions. You will not be contacting him yourself, but are calling them to make sure he gets appropriate help. Nothing more can be expected of you.

Keep focused on the lovely holiday and the pleasant feeling of not needing to walk on eggshells. Isnt it an amazing contrast to spending time with him? Imagine how more relaxing it would have been without his manipulative crap before you left.

@Random100 I said he'd talk getting engaged or having nothing to live for, I'm not psychic, I just know the way his mind works. These men follow a pattern but thankfully you're already feeling the difference in being away from him. Think what a weight off your shoulders it would be to never bother with him again

Next time he tells you he feels like offing himself call the police and do a well fair check. I guarantee he will never do it again.

Oh and block.

great! Now block him. Seriously, block him at least until you’re back

Police would have phoned you and they didn't. Please don't worry about it.

I'd be flushing my sim and getting a new one when I get home!

Right on cue with the suicide threats! "Mental health", my arse - that's no excuse for abuse and blackmail, and he's not your problem any more.

I guarantee that he'll still be alive for some time yet, and pulling the same stunts on his next victim. Rinse and repeat until he can't pull any more and becomes a sad bitter lonely old man.

Please leave him. Block him. And have a wonderful holiday xxxx

Just don't reply. Keep all the info in case you need to rely on it for any reason, but don't let this ruin your holiday or anything further. Have a lovely time and forget this unpleasant individual x

It's funny how these men always seem to have struggles with their mental health at convenient moments - ie. when you've done or said something they don't like. I had 2 exes like that and I'm afraid I've become very cynical about people playing the mental health card like that. That's not to say that many many people don't have awful struggles with mental health issues. But I feel that some people can use it as a tool to manipulate others.
That's certainly what both my exes did and sounds like your ex is doing too.

With my most recent ex, who was constantly playing the suicide card, I got to the point where I no longer cared whether he ended his life or not. This sounds really awful and callous but he said it on a regular basis when things hadn't gone his way and also after we'd split (we split twice before the final split...).
In the end, after I finally got away for him, I told myself that if he chose to end his life that was his choice and his choice alone and that I had absolutely no responsibility for his choices whatsoever. And yes, I no longer cared.

Surprisingly enough, 3 years on, the guy is still alive.

It's absolute nonsense OP. There is no way he is going to end his life.

Just hold onto this when you get back. Keep reading it and make sure you don’t ever forget how much better you feel when you’re not with him. Now go, enjoy your holiday to the MAX!

Even if they were suicidal...how does that change anything? Are you just supposed to stay in a horrible abusive relationship to stop them killing themselves? Of course not. You're not a therapist or a doctor or an ambulance. You're a person who deserves to live free of abuse. What about your mental health and life? You aren't his crutch. You're your own person who deserves happiness.

As pp said, so many of these assholes claim mental health issues. When it suits them. It's such bullshit. Textbook narcissist bullshit.

I'd actually wait till you are home until blocking so you can secure your house. Then text 'never contact me again'. Screenshot that and his abusive messages before blocking incase they ever need to be shown to the police.

Deal with suicide threats if they arrive when you get back by messaging to his family 'Jim and I are over but he's threatening self harm so, heads up to keep any eye on him. I don't want further contact though'. Or call the police and let them decide if it's worth sending an ambulance or not. He won't pull that shit again. He's just trying to get a rise out of you. Never respond to him again if you can help it.

He's not actually mentally ill...he's just an evil fucker. Well, I suppose he could be both but, it's irrelevant really.

Well done for protecting yourself this far.
Keep chilling on your holiday!

Have a wonderful holiday,block him immediately and let that holiday feeing continue knowing you're free to do whatever you like

I Hope he's blocked . Enjoy your holiday