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Original poster

Can someone give a handhold? Partner tried to ruin my trip

1000 replies

Random100 · 03/05/2024 01:31

Partner has a habit of ruining things. Any special occasion he kicks off to try and spoil it. He’s very childish in nature, tantrums a lot etc etc. I know I need to leave him.

I have been staying at his for a few days so has a few belongings at his. I’m off on holiday this morning with a friend and he’s been kicking off in the lead up to it. He has said multiple times he would take me to the airport, I paid for a tank full of fuel this evening as it’s double the distance that my house is from the airport.

He’s been making snide comments that I must hate him this evening. I went to bed early to try and get some sleep and he joined me not long after. All of a sudden he launched out of bed, screamed at me that I was making him physically uncomfortable in bed and stormed off, shouting his head off. I was in tears at this point.

He has just declared I must go to the airport by myself now and that he’s not taking me. He wants my belongings out the house too.

Sat in tears looking at an Uber costing me 90 quid.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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WhenTheRedRedRobinComesBobBobBobbingAlong · 04/05/2024 03:20

Big cwtches to you OP! He sounds like an AH as my Dad would say! Enjoy your holiday, then enjoy your life - minus the AH :). You deserve so much better xx

grinandslothit · 04/05/2024 04:45

This W⚓️ is so predictable.

Nobody called the police.

He's making all this stuff up trying to worry you and ruin your holiday.

Block him, or he will keep needling you and picking at you so he can ruin your holiday.

thebestinterest · 04/05/2024 05:23

Crickey… 90 quid is all it’ll cost you to get away from this batshit loon? TAKE IT!

WoodBurningStov · 04/05/2024 05:37

I'm inclined to call bullshit on his story about the police, he's concocted this to try and ruin your holiday. If you are worried about it, ring the station and speak to them directly. I bet if you did they'd have no idea what you're talking about. If you must speak to him, ask him for the crime reference number - they have to give it to him by law

But let's say they were called.
A - if the neighbour was that concerned they'd have call at the time they heard you
B - they'd have responded straight away
C - they hear YOU crying and HIM shouting
D - they are used to dealing with shit head abusers and their lies

isthismylifenow · 04/05/2024 05:46

He just can't let you have your holiday can he...

I do hope you have been able to try to put this to the back of your mind and are having a good time.

Starseeking · 04/05/2024 05:51

Random100 · 03/05/2024 17:26

I know I need to finish it, and from my side I don’t want to ever see him again unless it’s for me to get my belongings if needs be.

So a neighbour apparently called the police last night after hearing me cry and him screaming. She was concerned for my welfare. This is all told in a text message by him though and the police apparently turned up at his door this morning. I have no idea what he has told them but he did mention in his text to me that he is feeling very abused by my behaviour. I can categorically say I’ve never abused this man, in fact I’m usually the one trying to calm him down when he flies off in a rage. I can guarantee that he will have told the police how abused he feels from me though, he loves to play victim.

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though and I am a little worried especially with being out the country.

This is exactly why my earlier post on this thread advised blocking him while you are on holiday, and dealing with it when he comes back; he's escalating because you are not responding in the way he wants you to.

If you do not block him now, you'll spend your whole holiday worrying about the next thing he messages you about. I expect the next thing will probably be a suicide attempt or someone close gravely ill in hospital, all of which will be lies, same as the police story, to reel you back in.

Sunsetlullaby · 04/05/2024 05:53

I agree with others. The police thing never happened. Block and enjoy your holiday.

dunBle · 04/05/2024 06:20

Adding to the chorus of block him and enjoy your holiday. It's highly highly likely he's made the police story up to get a reaction out of you, so don't give him the satisfaction of any more of your attention, let alone a response.

LAMPS1 · 04/05/2024 06:40

He reveals his flawed personality yet again.
He simply can’t live without having somebody to control.
Don’t let it be you any longer. He's dangerous OP.
You have got away from him already but for your own future safety you need to block him NOW and never have anything more to do with him.

IVbumble · 04/05/2024 06:41

With an abusive man usually when they open their mouth they're lying.

femfemlicious · 04/05/2024 06:41

What is going on with men. They are just so horrible 😭. Why can't people just be good?

CarryOnCharon · 04/05/2024 06:46

Random100 · 03/05/2024 17:26

I know I need to finish it, and from my side I don’t want to ever see him again unless it’s for me to get my belongings if needs be.

So a neighbour apparently called the police last night after hearing me cry and him screaming. She was concerned for my welfare. This is all told in a text message by him though and the police apparently turned up at his door this morning. I have no idea what he has told them but he did mention in his text to me that he is feeling very abused by my behaviour. I can categorically say I’ve never abused this man, in fact I’m usually the one trying to calm him down when he flies off in a rage. I can guarantee that he will have told the police how abused he feels from me though, he loves to play victim.

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though and I am a little worried especially with being out the country.

Honestly, put this out of your mind. He’s messing with your head.

Block him and delete his number and don’t contact him again or ask for money or your possessions back.

Then take some deep breaths, relax, and enjoy your holiday.

MzHz · 04/05/2024 07:15

@Random100 he is lying.

hes doing this to ruin your holiday. Think about it!

he wants you to worry about this shit he’s made up all week so you don’t enjoy the time away

These sad, pathetic men are all the same. Trust me. your neighbour didn’t call the police. They never came, it’s a total invention on his part.

and even if it weren’t, you KNOW you did nothing wrong so there are no repercussions or consequences

BREATHE

you never have to see him again. Block him now. Enjoy your holiday.

what is your friend saying about this?

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/05/2024 07:43

So he's saying the neighbour called the police because she was worried about your safety and then he told the police he was the one being abused? If the neighbour actually did call the police then they would be very very used to men saying that they were being abused and not abusive.

This man is doing everything you can to spoil your holiday. You need to shut him out of your mind now.

Drapion · 04/05/2024 08:00

Do not worry about the police and use it as a wake up call. His neighbours were so worried they called the police. His behaviour is not normal, please don't accept it. Don't let him get back in. Forget about your belongings they aren't worth it.

Go on holiday with your friend relax, try to forget about him and come home and start afresh. Which I know is easier said than done, but all his terrible behaviour seems it as a good thing because it means there is no way you are ever going back

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 04/05/2024 08:06

I'm just echoing everyone else saying the police story is bullshit.

If they'd turned up because a neighbour heard him screaming at you, where the hell do they think you've gone? They aren't just going to believe you've gone on holiday the next day. I know in this case it's true but isn't that the usual lie abusers say when they've killed their partner?

He's horrible, narcissistic and not very bright, OP.

Pointshopgirl · 04/05/2024 08:15

It sounds like he is a textbook narcissist. You deserve so much better OP - have a lovely holiday and forget all about this wretch. When you come back get your belongings back and then block.

MichaelAndEagle · 04/05/2024 08:35

Have you told your friend that you are with OP? In my experience it really helps when you tell someone in real life.

Nannyfannybanny · 04/05/2024 08:44

Oh yes, I had forgotten about the suicide threats!!! Hoping she's enjoying her holiday.!

worryworrysuperscurry · 04/05/2024 08:50

Block him. I would bet my house that he's lying about the police.
I wouldn't have believed people would lie about something like that until my ex did similar. Long story short, he reported me for harassing him (it was the other way round), but that was the final straw for me and I went to the police to report him - turned out they had no record of me being reported to them, and they did imply that this was a common abuse tactic.
Seriously, he's just trying to ruin your holiday. Don't let him.

9outof10cats · 04/05/2024 08:56

He sounds like a 'man child'.

Enjoy your holiday and celebrate the end of a toxic relationship.

Ideaspleaseee · 04/05/2024 09:21

I’m another who thinks he’s lying about the police to ruin your holiday. And you need to block him because he’ll keep digging away at you until your holiday is ruined and he’s got what he wanted.

Even if he isn’t lying there will be no bad ramifications. The police may talk to you, but that’s it.

ilovebrie8 · 04/05/2024 09:26

OP as most are saying block him don’t engage with him at all.

have nothing more to do with the sad prick …he’s a manchild to put it mildly!

£90 is nothing in scheme of things …onwards and upwards! Have nothing more to do with him don’t engage in any discussion….

hobocock · 04/05/2024 09:53

Get this prick blocked. Enjoy your holiday and deal with any issues when you get back.
I also don't believe the police story. The neighbour called them apparently and yet it took a day or so before they turned up.
Anyway, even if the neighbour did call and they went round to see him, they aren't going to believe his cock and bull story about you abusing him. If they did indeed go round, he isn't going to say "oh yeah, I was yelling at OP about her going on holiday" so he makes up some crap. The police are used to this kind of thing. I very much doubt that anything will come of it, even if it is true, because you aren't living there any more, there's no evidence of you abusing him because you weren't.

Please don't worry about the police thing and please, for the hundreth time, get the wanker blocked

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