Can someone give a handhold? Partner tried to ruin my trip

[Random100]

Partner has a habit of ruining things. Any special occasion he kicks off to try and spoil it. He’s very childish in nature, tantrums a lot etc etc. I know I need to leave him.

I have been staying at his for a few days so has a few belongings at his. I’m off on holiday this morning with a friend and he’s been kicking off in the lead up to it. He has said multiple times he would take me to the airport, I paid for a tank full of fuel this evening as it’s double the distance that my house is from the airport.

He’s been making snide comments that I must hate him this evening. I went to bed early to try and get some sleep and he joined me not long after. All of a sudden he launched out of bed, screamed at me that I was making him physically uncomfortable in bed and stormed off, shouting his head off. I was in tears at this point.

He has just declared I must go to the airport by myself now and that he’s not taking me. He wants my belongings out the house too.

Sat in tears looking at an Uber costing me 90 quid.

Please, please don't take him back OP. This has to be it.

This guy is displaying classic narcassitic behaviour - I hope you are just enjoying your holiday OP and not worrying about him but if you are, look up covert narcassism. There are some good podcasts on the topic. I speak from experience that once you eyes are open everything starts to make sense…
And to those who say why didn’t you leave already, hindsight is a glorious thing and very often you don’t know you are in an abusive relationship until someone points it out to you, or something happens and it all becomes clear.

If you were tired, you would end the relationship. You can start with blocking him do you can enjoy your trip. I do suspect you will allow him apologise and continue the relationship. When you've had enough, I doubt you'd be asking anyone what to do. You'd be taking actual action.

I was going to say similar about someone getting your stuff. Getting the locks changed is a good idea. He could be 100% out of your life by the time you get back. And about the police thing, the truth is on your side, so try not to worry about it too much (easier said than done).

He's manipulative.
What are you thinking about now? Him by any chance? Feeling anxious and distracted about this maybe-yes-maybe-no visit from the police when you should be relaxing?
I'm dubious about that story.

Asides from all the smoke screens and distractions he's putting in place, remember the facts. He invented an argument from nowhere because he wanted to spoil your good time, left you high and dry for the fun of it then behaved like the offended party. You even anticipated this coming.
That's more than enough to be going on with.

Block him on every single platform. Make sure he cannot contact you.

Write off the clothes and trainers and enjoy your holiday. Shag someone if possible. 😁

Shag someone if possible. 😁

It's actually not terrible advice. Shag someone (harmlessly) then tell him you cheated.
Sorted.

Your neighbour called the police last night as they heard you crying and him screaming and she was worried about your welfare, and the police turned up this morning.

Is that the best he can do, if it was a case of DV don't the police normally come out as soon as possible to the time of the call.

As for being out of the country I'd imagine you booked the holiday before last night so unless you planned along with booking the holiday that the night before you go you were going to abuse your boyfriend the police will know you haven't done a runner.

He sounds deranged. Reply saying just bin anything I've left. Don't contact me again and block.

I'd have syphoned the fuel out of the car before I left, or better still, driven his car to the airport and left it in the short stay carpark.

My mum married a man like this, at 76 I can tell you it just got worse and worse over the years. He has made her life a misery and affected her relationship with us and all 3 of her grandchildren.

Please learn from my mum's awful mistakes and remove this toxic man from your life before you waste any more minutes, hours or days putting up with his nonsense.

Live your life and be free OP.

Bon Voyage.

Well said
I could of wrote this my mum's the same still with him . She won't ever leave and she now has no relationship with us or my children.
It's sad but they made that choice

Wow. My ex was a bit like this guy. He didn't get any nicer and ended up storming off like you described when I was 8m pregnant and didn't come back that time! (Except to annoy and threaten me about the baby).
Please don't have children with this man.

My advice- you're on holiday now. If he messages you then you should say 'I absolutely hear what you said before and we need a bit of space I'll be back in touch when I'm back' then block his number.

Then, take advantage of the fact you're miles away and download tinder or bumble when you're away by the pool. Have a little taste of what's out there and what it's like to be single. Even go on a double date with your pal if she's keen perhaps, or just window shop. Delete it before you come home unti you're properly broken up after you have got your stufff back. Take a friend with you when you collect it.

Please leave him. Xx

No he sounds like a psychopath he might kill her or throw acid at her. She needs to leave him safely.

She should definitely shag someone, just done tell the soon to be ex.

OP do not and I mean DO NOT go back to him.hes starting the journey of coercive control by these outbursts before you know it you won't leave the house without his say so or fear of walking on eggshells. Have a great holiday, block him until you return for your stuff only and do not look back. He does not love you. This is not love.

They’re won’t be any ramifications for you, he’ll have zero evidence that you’re abusive to him even if he does go and make a statement and it’ll go nowhere.

put it out of your mind

That's good advice too. I wasn't considering that.

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though and I am a little worried especially with being out the country.

There will be no "ramifications" from anything. He is gaslighting you, FGS. Why on earth are you still communicating with him? What will it take for you to ditch this loser?

We have a couple of houses on the street that the police occasionally get called to for domestic abuse incidents and they turn up quickly, they would have arrived before you left if it was our area, they might not turn up for much else but dv and they are there so I think he's making it up to make you worry. Also if they called as a welfare call they would obtain your mobile number and have contacted you to confirm you are safely abroad.

Exactly this op. He’s lying . Forget your stuff and just block him. Don’t give him anymore headspace

Please block him. I predict that if you don't his next move will to tell you that either him or one of his family is ill or in hospital. It's surprising how many times this happens. This will just be to try and ruin your trip and to make you contact him. You can't be angry with someone that's in hospital or their relative is. It won't be true it's just the next ploy to pull you into line and not to leave. If you block him now you will not get this

Yessss 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

If he's the victim, why was he screaming and you crying?

The Police aren't stupid, OP.

That's if it even happened!

Just block him, OP. If not he's going to be a shadow in the background the whole time you're away.

£90 is good value to be rid of him. Nothing happen about the police. Don't worry and have a lovely holiday