Page 12 | Can someone give a handhold? Partner tried to ruin my trip

Random100 · 2024-05-03T00:31:14+00:00

Partner has a habit of ruining things. Any special occasion he kicks off to try and spoil it. He’s very childish in nature, tantrums a lot etc etc. I know I need to leave him. I have been staying at his for a few days so has a few belongings at his. I’m off on holiday this morning with a friend and he’s been kicking off in the lead up to it. He has said multiple times he would take me to the airport, I paid for a tank full of fuel this evening as it’s double the distance that my house is from the airport. He’s been making snide comments that I must hate him this evening. I went to bed early to try and get some sleep and he joined me not long after. All of a sudden he launched out of bed, screamed at me that I was making him physically uncomfortable in bed and stormed off, shouting his head off. I was in tears at this point. He has just declared I must go to the airport by myself now and that he’s not taking me. He wants my belongings out the house too. Sat in tears looking at an Uber costing me 90 quid.

tuvamoodyson · 03/05/2024 16:46

That would be the best £90 I’d ever spent…

muggart · 03/05/2024 16:54

What kind of childhood breeds spoilt monsters such as this? It's so self indulgent and entitled I can't understand how people like this man go through life without getting beaten up or worse!

Pickled21 · 03/05/2024 16:54

Block his number and draw a line under it. Look at investing in some counselling because you need to learn to value yourself. Settling for a lowlife like this leads me to believe you have low self esteem. You need to tackle that and avoid jumping straight into another relationship. For now put your best foot forward and enjoy your holiday. I'm hoping he doesn't have a key to your place because if he does I would get the locks changed.

cakewench · 03/05/2024 16:59

"I don't want to be with him anymore" Then leave him. Seriously. This is horrible, there is no reason to keep putting yourself through this. You know how he is now, and you know it before you've actually moved in together or had kids.

He will ALWAYS be like this. He isn't going to change.

LBFseBrom · 03/05/2024 17:08

Leave him behind, don't look back.

RollOnSpringDays · 03/05/2024 17:15

you deserve much more than this nasty piece of work. Enjoy your holiday and when you get back move on with your life. If you can, send a friend or family member for your stuff then block him forever on everything. Never look back.

ManchesterBeatrice · 03/05/2024 17:20

What an abusive bastard.

Original poster

Random100 · 03/05/2024 17:26

I know I need to finish it, and from my side I don’t want to ever see him again unless it’s for me to get my belongings if needs be.

So a neighbour apparently called the police last night after hearing me cry and him screaming. She was concerned for my welfare. This is all told in a text message by him though and the police apparently turned up at his door this morning. I have no idea what he has told them but he did mention in his text to me that he is feeling very abused by my behaviour. I can categorically say I’ve never abused this man, in fact I’m usually the one trying to calm him down when he flies off in a rage. I can guarantee that he will have told the police how abused he feels from me though, he loves to play victim.

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though and I am a little worried especially with being out the country.

OP posts:

AcrossthePond55 · 03/05/2024 17:29

@Random100

Personally, if I had everything I needed or wanted out of his place I'd simply block him on all platforms and get on with my life.

No message to tell him to pay me anything back or say what to do with anything left there, no message to tell him what you think of him. Just disappear from his life totally and completely. Any money you've lost is money well spent as you now know what a shit he is.

To do anything else opens the door for him to beg, rationalize, vilify, create havoc and you don't need that.

Bruciebogtrotter · 03/05/2024 17:29

Have you got anyone who can go and collect your things for you? And go to your place and get the locks changed?

Duckswaddle · 03/05/2024 17:30

Random100 · 03/05/2024 17:26

I know I need to finish it, and from my side I don’t want to ever see him again unless it’s for me to get my belongings if needs be.

So a neighbour apparently called the police last night after hearing me cry and him screaming. She was concerned for my welfare. This is all told in a text message by him though and the police apparently turned up at his door this morning. I have no idea what he has told them but he did mention in his text to me that he is feeling very abused by my behaviour. I can categorically say I’ve never abused this man, in fact I’m usually the one trying to calm him down when he flies off in a rage. I can guarantee that he will have told the police how abused he feels from me though, he loves to play victim.

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though and I am a little worried especially with being out the country.

It won’t mean anything - they will know he’s lying. The neighbour reported what she heard.
Just block him and get on with your life. What a horrible, terrible person he is. And you have absolutely zero reason to put up with him. Just be free of it!!!

ManchesterBeatrice · 03/05/2024 17:33

Random100 · 03/05/2024 17:26

I know I need to finish it, and from my side I don’t want to ever see him again unless it’s for me to get my belongings if needs be.

So a neighbour apparently called the police last night after hearing me cry and him screaming. She was concerned for my welfare. This is all told in a text message by him though and the police apparently turned up at his door this morning. I have no idea what he has told them but he did mention in his text to me that he is feeling very abused by my behaviour. I can categorically say I’ve never abused this man, in fact I’m usually the one trying to calm him down when he flies off in a rage. I can guarantee that he will have told the police how abused he feels from me though, he loves to play victim.

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though and I am a little worried especially with being out the country.

There isn't anything that can happen while you are out of the country, so please don't worry about that. I would probably humour him until you get back, by palming him off with 'You'll talk to him when you're back' messages.

And then get your stuff and leave, take someone with you.

Isitautumnyet23 · 03/05/2024 17:34

Random100 · 03/05/2024 17:26

I know I need to finish it, and from my side I don’t want to ever see him again unless it’s for me to get my belongings if needs be.

So a neighbour apparently called the police last night after hearing me cry and him screaming. She was concerned for my welfare. This is all told in a text message by him though and the police apparently turned up at his door this morning. I have no idea what he has told them but he did mention in his text to me that he is feeling very abused by my behaviour. I can categorically say I’ve never abused this man, in fact I’m usually the one trying to calm him down when he flies off in a rage. I can guarantee that he will have told the police how abused he feels from me though, he loves to play victim.

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though and I am a little worried especially with being out the country.

He’s lying to get your attention. Block him and send a couple of people to get your stuff. He’s trying to ruin your holiday by making you worry about something that didn’t happen.

Noseybookworm · 03/05/2024 17:34

You need to block him so he can't message you any more or you're going to spend your whole holiday obsessing about him. The police won't be a problem, at worst you might get a phone call checking on your welfare. You've done nothing wrong. Put this to one side and get on with enjoying your holiday!

0sm0nthus · 03/05/2024 17:35

He’s just text to say he’s not coming back (he stormed off out his house) and that I’m welcome to leave things at his and he’ll return them to mine next week when I’m back
His offer to return your items was for his benefit, it gives him an opportunity to be in contact with you so he can continue the cycle of being nice to you to draw you back, so that he can punish you/take out his anger on you again.

I suggest you drop right off his radar and remove yourself from his life, as tempting as it might be to take some revenge, dont! It will only fuel further attacks from him.
He'll get his comeuppance somewhere along the line in any case

Sparklfairy · 03/05/2024 17:38

Random100 · 03/05/2024 17:26

I know I need to finish it, and from my side I don’t want to ever see him again unless it’s for me to get my belongings if needs be.

So a neighbour apparently called the police last night after hearing me cry and him screaming. She was concerned for my welfare. This is all told in a text message by him though and the police apparently turned up at his door this morning. I have no idea what he has told them but he did mention in his text to me that he is feeling very abused by my behaviour. I can categorically say I’ve never abused this man, in fact I’m usually the one trying to calm him down when he flies off in a rage. I can guarantee that he will have told the police how abused he feels from me though, he loves to play victim.

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though and I am a little worried especially with being out the country.

Have the police been in touch with you? Maybe I watch too much true crime, but if the police really had turned up, it would be highly suspicious for him to tell them you're 'out of the country'...

Even if he showed them text exchanges between you, that doesn't mean you sent them like I said, too much true crime so from the police perspective, they don't know that you're truly okay and just on holiday. The first thing they would do is get in touch with you, surely?

Did the neighbour tell you she called the police, or have you only heard that from him?

That's a roundabout way of saying I don't believe they did turn up, his whole story is bullshit dramatics, and I think this is his way of making you stress and worry while you're away.

RubiesandRose · 03/05/2024 17:38

If he is telling the truth and the police did turn up, nothing will happen until your back.

To be honest, they will have seen his type a hundred times before, claiming to be the victim whilst being the perpetrator. So if you do need to speak to them on your return just tell your story as honestly and truthfully as you have here and it will be absolutely fine. He's really a piece of work isn't he!!

You are well rid OP, just block out his pitying noise and enjoy your holiday.

HopeOneOfThosePeopleIsAMonkeyBecauseThisIsBanana · 03/05/2024 17:42

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though

Don't be, it was him the neighbours heard screaming so your story will match their version.

So a neighbour apparently called the police last night after hearing me cry and him screaming.

Isthisreasonable · 03/05/2024 17:54

Block him OP - he's lying about the police incident to mess with you and spoil your holiday.

If you don't want to block him at this stage give your phone to your friend to look after and just get her to delete every message without responding and without telling you what the message was.

Snickernoodle · 03/05/2024 18:03

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though and I am a little worried especially with being out the country.

Then he's got what he was aiming for. He's spoiling your trip.

bradpittsbathwater · 03/05/2024 18:04

Just block him. He's lying and wants to spoil your trip. Forget about your clothes.

AmandaHoldensLips · 03/05/2024 18:06

Block his number - he will be hell bent on ruining your holiday with multiple drama-laden text messages.

You can always unblock when you get back in order to retrieve your things.

Block. Block. Block.

And have a cocktail...

Freakinfraser · 03/05/2024 18:07

Random100 · 03/05/2024 17:26

I know I need to finish it, and from my side I don’t want to ever see him again unless it’s for me to get my belongings if needs be.

So a neighbour apparently called the police last night after hearing me cry and him screaming. She was concerned for my welfare. This is all told in a text message by him though and the police apparently turned up at his door this morning. I have no idea what he has told them but he did mention in his text to me that he is feeling very abused by my behaviour. I can categorically say I’ve never abused this man, in fact I’m usually the one trying to calm him down when he flies off in a rage. I can guarantee that he will have told the police how abused he feels from me though, he loves to play victim.

I am concerned though that this could have future ramifications for me though and I am a little worried especially with being out the country.

Oh op. I mean this gently, but just stop. Really just stop.stop buying into and feeding rhe drama. Just text him it’s over, you or a friend will pick up your stuff, and move on. If you chose not to, honestly, it’s on you.

zingally · 03/05/2024 18:07

Call that £90, and the cost of replacing whatever he undoubtedly doesn't return, the cost of officially being done with this steaming turd.

Often, the easiest way to solve a problem, is with money.

DuckOffAWatersBack · 03/05/2024 18:08

What an absolute turd. I am fuming for you. It brings so many awful memories back of my ex ruining every special occasion and you just waiting for it, so I really can empathise with you there.

Not sure I could ever forget that feeling. Yes, he'll be all lovely when you return. If it was all shit we wouldn't stay, but you know that it won't be long before he's putting you on the back food and demanding you whistle to his tune. You know what to do. But before that... mute the fucker on your phone and enjoy your holiday without his whingeing 😁