Can I tell him over txt not interested?

[Violetroseyjane]

Oh I feel so awkward. So I went out drinking with friends a couple weeks back, met a guy we had a chat some laughs and swapped numbers & kissed at the end of the evening.
He actually knew one of my friends boyfriends and my friend was like oh now we can double date , hes so sweet etc.
I just said let's not get carried away, but agreed to meet up with him for a coffee.
I agreed to meet with him yesterday, as soon as I locked eyes on him I knew .... he really really is not someone I would be attracted too normally, but thought I'd give him a chance ( I must of had serious beer goggles on when I kissed him ) 🙈
He was a perfectly nice man, however we had no spark, bad conversation and I am not one bit attracted to this mans personality or his looks.
Turns out we have nothing in common at all and he is also 15 years older than myself.
I was still polite throughout the date , tried to make conversation then we went our separate ways.
This morning my friend msg me saying that "ben" had the most amazing time and has told all thier friend group about me. He then msg me this morning calling me his girlfriend and putting love in the msg.
I really now have serious ick here.
I do not want to see this man again!
Is it ok to let him down through txt? What shall I say? I really dont want to hurt his feelings but I know he is not the man for me .I need to do it sooner rather than later as he is trying to organise a 2nd date 😏

Yes it is a bit creepy, he offered to walk me home after date yesterday, I'm so glad I said no!!!

😄 I know a bit crazy hey?

Definitely trying to call you to persuade you to change your mind.
Hopefully that’s the end of it but don’t be afraid to block him if he persists.

Are you absolutely sure your friend likes you? I only ask because she must know what he's like. I know if she's never dated him then maybe she hasn't seen that side too much, but he's probably been a bit gushy and OTT about other women before.

Be prepared for her to whine 'oh give him a chance, he's soooo nice' etc. Personally I'd be giving him the nickname Martha and giving him and her a very wide berth from now on.

Oh Lordy - you've got a potential clingon - after one coffee date! Take a moment and text him now OP. Everything can wait for you to send a two minute text to tell him. Then block and delete his number so you can get on with your day - because he may try to get in contact with you again tonight. 🌹

Good! Now gird your loins because he'll speak to your friend next and she'll be messaging you asking you questions about "why?? he's such a nice guy! He's really fallen for you!!" 🌹

If your friend texts id be 100% telling her that he's given you the massive ick with his love bombing. I'd also block him so he can't contact you again

I wouldn't, I'd focus on no chemistry otherwise she'll excuse the love bombing as just a sign of how keen he is

I'm afraid that that sounds highly likely.

Controversial opinion but you should never trust other women to pick potential dates/partners for you: They nearly always introduce you to the leftovers that they'd never dream of dating themselves. They're not exactly going to introduce you to the best ones are they? They want those for themselves! I had a friend like this years ago: She was secretly jealous of me and the guys she tried to get me to date were all uninteresting and unattractive, people who she would never go for herself, yet she would do her best to put me off trying to start anything with any guy i actually liked, telling me they wouldnt be into me, they were probably arseholes or players etc. Her partner at the time was unemployed, had a drink problem and was a prolific gamer, plus absolutely no looker. She showed her true colours when i met my very handsome, very lovely (successful) musician fiance and i cut contact with her. Don't trust others and go for what you want!

Hopefully he'll leave you alone but there is a possibility he will get nasty so be prepared. You aren't nice, you aren't kind, you owe him a chance, you led him on, etc etc.
Also get ready for your friend to go aww he's so lovely I can't believe you're being so mean...

Has he been back in touch, @Violetroseyjane?

He sounds like he might be one of the entitled ones who won't leave you alone.

And I hope your friend isn't being difficult.

Not necessarily. Ive introduced amazing women friends to lovely men friends in good faith.

All kind, smart, attractive, interesting, fun, good jobs, all round catches. Just not quite for me (life would have actually been easier if they had been!). Zero politicking.

None of them are blissfully married with seven children sadly but some nice dates happened, and actually one friendship and business opportunity.

Sorry that was to @Jurgenkloppsweddingring

@Jurgenkloppsweddingring I disagree. I introduced two good friends to their long time 20 year plus partners.

I saw similarities in personality, humour and attractive type. On each occasion I made it clear, I have no skin in the game and my loyalty is to my friend but thought they might hit it off.

If any of my male friends had this guys form it would have been a wide berth given.

I want my friends to be happy and to be brutally honest we very rarely have the same exact taste,🤷‍♀️

Agree. Text is fine as it was one date. He sounds ott to call you his girlfriend already.

I think she just wanted to shoehorn in the humblebrag at the end of the comment.

@Telemakus where is the humble brag?

I have some different tastes and outlooks to my friends, we aren't clones.

So for example my bff loves sports I introduced her to a friend who was into marathons, it is simply acknowledgement of different strokes for different folks.

There is no humble brag.

I wasn't replying with you in mind

I know!!

Alright Martha calm down 🤣🤣

I met a guy once for a date and he very nicely said thanks but no thanks over text. I was fine with that as it saved me the job!

Little update ...He did get in touch again, sent a txt saying I'm sorry you feel that way, I'm absolutely gutted, I'm so emotional & really fell for you. Can we be friends?

I said I think it's best to be civil / polite as I may see him around but not hang out as friends.

As for my friend shes been brilliant, after I told him I wasnt interested and he tried to call i rang her and said look hes coming on way too strong , it was one coffee , I really dont want to hurt him but he is full on & telling people I'm his girlfriend and telling his family about me is just way ott.
She said she totally agreed & she told her partner ( his friend) and they both have agreed it is way too much too soon & he was over eager & excited and I'm entitled to say I'm not interested & that he needs to leave me be now and if he doesn't they will have a word and for me to block him.

Ahh what a drama 🤣 ... one song and a coffee

• song.. not song 🤣 I wish it was a song now !

Your autocorrect does not like the word snog 😂 sorry but this really made me giggle!

Snog bloody snog 😄