Dating Thread 248 - Spring is on it's way and so are outdoor dates

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
7. Know your wortH.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I find the whole how long to message before meeting in real life is so tricky. I definitely would not get into another situation of weeks of messaging without a meet up happening but equally I want to have some exchange of messages before meeting as some of them show themselves up quite quickly just in the course of a few messages and I can then filter those ones out without having wasted time meeting up. I've had some men recently asking to meet/ exchange numbers as soon as we match which I don't feel comfortable doing or sometimes I have and then found that quite quickly I've had to delete them from
WhatsApp. I find the whole thing a bit of a minefield really.

If it's any consolation @Mckittens, I think even people who are beginning to get invested in one person still like to keep their options open until things get more serious/confirmed. I don't think it means you've been friend-zoned, only that he's aware that in the OLD world - or simply just the dating world - things may not be how they seem on the basis of messaging and a couple of dates. Same goes for all of us - 'have faith, but tether your camel' 😁

I’ve got a second date tomorrow with Mr Football. We’ve been messaging all week and communication is easy.

Its refreshing that there’s absolutely no sexual innuendo at all and we’re chatting about loads of different subjects.

Its last chance to meet up for a few weeks though as I’m off on holiday next weekend for a week then when I get back he’s away so it’ll be end of June before we can catch up again.

Hopefully tomorrow will help a bit to see if I am attracted to him or it’s a friends only thing.

@Mckittens sounds like you shouldn’t write him off just yet…

Teeth man is planning on visiting next week. He lives quite a distance so I’m hesitant to go ahead with it now sort of knowing I probably won’t be able to get past that. Maybe we can meet half way for damage limitation 😂

I've gone off Mr questions 🙈 but disappointment as the chat was great, but he seems very much in holidaying, gym every night lady phase of his life and that's not where I'm at!
He's away this weekend and I'm not bothered about not hearing from him so I guess that says it all!
Still feel abit zoned out from it all. Wondering if I should take a longer break, like a month, to get my mojo back? I just don't seem to get any conversations going at all past what's my name job and how my week has been 🫣

Hi all the teeth situation is a no go for me. I always look at a photo and think would I kiss them if it’s a no it’s a left swipe! I’m fussy though. But I’ve decided it’s a good thing.

After a recent date with Mr T and his issues I’ve taken a break and deleted all apps. I had a few chats going on but all a bit too much effort. I’m planning on joining some real life classes in the hope of a real person! Good luck all those with dates coming up!

Thoughts welcome pls

Went on a fun date last night. He was very keen on me and we kissed and we messaged until we both got home late in the early morning hours. He asked if I’d go to a concert with him, I agreed.

Today he messaged at 1pm and I replied promptly but haven’t heard since then. It’s now past 9pm. I’ve had guys do this before - take half a day or more to reply - and their interest always dwindled. It’s happening again isn’t it? I’m so tired of it all.

I couldn't date someone with a bad teeth, or bad skin either. Taking care of teeth is basic hygiene!

@onlinedating difficult one, I think everyone is allowed to have a break from constantly being glued to mobile for various reasons (including sometimes work) but I'd say not good if it's a change of previous communication style.

@onlinedating yeah that can be frustrating. Was he messaging you a lot before the date?

It’s not great that he hasn’t been in contact but could it be he’s busy and generally isn’t a big texter, and he is thinking you’ll catch up properly at the concert if that’s going to be your next date?

Have you made definite plans to go to the concert together or was it just something he mentioned in more of a vague way?

user9090 Tamigotxh thanks both
we were messaging all day before the date
and all the way home after the date
today was just one message - and he asked a specific question - and nothing since to my reply
bizarre 🤷‍♀️ I don’t get these men

@onlinedating could he have been at work and then maybe gone out in the evening? I agree it doesn't take more than a minute to send a quick message but maybe he's absorbed in something else. If you're driving, shopping etc it's also tricky.

@Tillievanilly @blacksocks33 I’m also taking a break from apps (well, app, as I was only on Hinge). I am thinking for at least a month.

Chocolatefreak still no reply 🤷‍♀️ I’ve been messed around a lot by guys I’ve been on dates with recently and I just can’t face it anymore. I’m tempted to just block him now.

@onlinedating sorry to hear that. Does sound a bit weird… I’d probably question him before blocking? I don’t get these men either. But tells you early on what they are like

My bad teeth man continues to be an absolute sweetheart. He’s genuinely a lovely person. I’m hoping he has a full mouth of dental work before we meet.

Also had an impromptu call with a nice French school teacher last night. His photos weren’t great, but we did a video call (which I never do but I suggested as I’d had a drink or two out earlier), and he was quite good looking, interesting and also a lovely person.

Neither of these guys are typically my type though, unsure if that’s good or bad… maybe wasting my time with just whoever I happen to connect with…

@RosieAway I think it’s great you can potentially get past the teeth, it may be he has work lined up on them…

I was speaking to three people. One I’m sure was married as stuff didn’t make sense - he said he was in X and the app showed him in Y. Not great at messaging other than when he was on the way to somewhere - had my BS alarm flickering.

Next guy loads of good chat, he asked about my kids and then unmatched me - fine but after a couple of days I’d expected a good bye!

Next guy seems lovely and we have a date on Monday after work. Even had a chat yesterday and he sounds lovely. Just got a couple of reservations I always do with this stuff now.

Aww RosieAway, I used to have a friend who had awful teeth, some missing & the ones that were there were Brown, but he was the loveliest, kindest soul. He's sadly no longer with us. I never mentioned his teeth but I heard somebody else ask him once & he said he just never took care of them, forgot to brush them (although he never smelled like he had bad breath or bad hygiene)
Bit of nostalgia there for me!

Anyway, that said, if the teeth are really bad it does put me off so I guess I'm a hypocrite. I think that I'd still have a date with the man (& hope that he mentioned them, there's something endearing to me if a man mentions his 'flaws')

My own teeth are a bit mangled at the back but look nice at the front so I'm probably more forgiving than some!

LittleFloatingGhost Usual time wasters then but Monday date sounds promising! What are the reservations?

SamW98 Good luck today.

@onlinedating I wouldnt write him off yet. I'm just thinking what if he had a death in the family or something? Or received some bad news? That would make me go MIA

Also im away on holiday tomorrow and finally got 2 dates for next weekend! lets see if they actually happen! But holiday plannings kept me off my phone.

Just looking for opinion on how to navigate a situation folks. I have 2 concerts coming up in August that I'm going to with my kids, had got tickets for ex partner (expensive tickets which he paid for himself). During a previous fallout he said he still wanted to go.
Wondering do I just wait until nearer the time and let him make contact...I'm not trying to dupe him out of his tickets. They are etickets so I could just send them on too but we will still end up sitting together 🙈

Can I just vent… how much of a kicking does your self-esteem take when a guy likes you, you match, send a message and they immediately unmatch you 😂 Thanks mate. Maybe stop mindlessly swiping (or maybe swiped right by mistake!)

Aw @RosieAway sounds awful, I'm not looking forward to dipping my toe into OLD again, going to take some time to myself.
Definitely not you though, you're genuinely making the effort.

I know, RosieAway. It's hard not to feel deflated isn't it. Know that it's not 'You'.

Yesterday, I messaged one on the free site. He read my message then instead of replying, left the site. I mean, am I that hideous that I scared him off the whole site

LuckyLinda Personally, I'd contact him about it now. You don't want it weighing on your mind until nearer the concert. I suppose if he still wants to go then get there at the last minute & just pretend you can't hear him during, if he tries to chat

@RosieAway I feel like it's worse when they extend the match on bumble for another 24 hours and then don't bother responding to your message. Like what's the point? 🤣🤣🤣

It's happened too many times now for it to be a mistake.

Thanks @NervesOfCotton. That gave me a wee laugh. I've already given him back his clothes and anything that was in mine but forgot about the concerts until my daughter mentioned it to me.