Dating Thread 248 - Spring is on it's way and so are outdoor dates

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
7. Know your wortH.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I get you because I find it absolutely tedious. It’s not an enjoyable experience at all. I don’t hate it, it’s just dull.

I honestly wonder if I’ve been single too long now and really can’t be arsed anymore.
When I get asked what I miss about being in a relationship I literally can’t think of anything other than the regular sex.

If you don't feel a connection, then either they're not the right person for you or you're not in the right mindset for dating.
Dating can feel like a never-ending series of job interviews rather than an enjoyable experience if your mindset isn't right.

My mindset started out great, but after a week of receiving either no response, a one word answer or a one word answer accompanied by 'you?', I've got fed up.

The phone call yesterday wasn't great. I came away with the impression that he thought I was after him for his money (ha!). I was asked whether I owned my own house or not. I definitely felt like I was being interviewed for the position of wife.

Completely disagree that finding OLD tedious means we’re not in the right mindset. It is an awful process swiping through endless poorly written profile and dreadful selfies just to get to the point of matching and when you do match, it’s like getting blood out of a stone trying to drag a half decent conversation out of most of them.

OLD has taken the fun and excitement out of the dating process and made it tedious dull cold and clinical, it’s difficult to feel anything but jaded.

Date with Mr FWB went well. As expected, he was very forward (“shall we go back to my place?” 😂) but also interesting and charming. Lots and lots of kissing, but I stuck to my guns and went home alone 😎

Hope he’s keen to meet again, I‘m really attracted to him.

Also, I think I’ve cracked OLD - if you date for fun, it’s an infinitely better experience. I’m not looking forward to resuming my search for a serious relationship.

@Crushed23 I'd love to get to the fun part. But TBH if a bloke can't even string a sentence together, I don't hold a lot of confidence about his abilities to fulfill me sexually or be reliable enough to put a condom on.

Having seen this on multiple profiles penned by women, I can confirm that this is not an exclusively male statement.

Nor is posing with dead fish.....disappointingly topless photos are thin on the ground though!

Why would any man think posing with a fish is attractive?

I was referring to women's profiles which have photos of beaming women either holding fish or with an array of dead ones displayed in front of them.

I have seen a number of them.

My own pescatorial prowess is extreamly limited!!

I feel the same x

What I can't stand is how 99.9% of men are just looking for shags....some are honest, many aren't...it's just so exhausting to constantly be bombarded by it all, and I can't take anyone at face value anymore.

I'm starting to feel like this to be honest.

I am ploughing on because I really would like the companionship and physical touch from being in a relationship, but my goodness it's difficult getting there.

Yeah I agree it gets tiring, dull and feels very much an uphill slog. Last night I deleted the one app I’ve been using recently. My latest match did the whole thing of rushing in all enthusiastic talking about how he would drive down etc, then within a few days was distant and giving short answers to questions. I’m glad I held of giving him my number - I wanted to see how consistent he could be first. But it felt like he was breadcrumbing me in the end.

I asked one guy how his day was and he immediately began complaining he’d been “pissed on all day”. I get it - he was a support worker for adults with disabilities, but don’t think it was a great way to start off our conversation.

I really value consistency, transparency and good communication, I have encountered some men with those qualities on apps but overall it seems to be sorely lacking on OLD.

I'm sorry to hear all these bad experiences, but also reassured (sadly) it's not just me. I'm finding it all so exhausting and I'm starting to get jaded.

Has anyone been talking to a greg on tinder whose from Chesterfield?

onlinedatingscrewup better to post on 'Are we dating the same guy" on FB?

So, can I join you please? I've joined Bumble again, just wondering if I will make it until bedtime before I delete. I've 3 matches, 1 has obviously deleted me once he took a closer, marvellous!

Well I’ve just had a date with Mr Football who took ‘ no I don’t want to watch the FA cup as a first date’ as a no and we just met in a pub locally.

We got on really well. Chatted non stop and first date lasted 5 hours.

Not 💯 sure if I fancy him or not but I’d definitely have a second date with him.

@SamW98 fingers crossed for you with this one.

I feel bad for having a moan last night and this morning. I was definitely feeling disillusioned. I've not bothered with the app all day and been out instead. Came home this evening to two nice messages from two new matches so my faith in humanity has been restored! For now at least.

Does anyone know how I stop this in Bumble? I live near a popular tourist sport and am getting lots of people whose current location is near me, but who live at the other end of the country. They're obviously just here for the weekend. How do I stop seeing them?

TheAntiHero I have the same problem in my city during the spring and summer months! so annoying.

Yes! A lot of recent matches or people showing up on my feed are only showing up encaustic they're travelling etc. it's a problem!

Amazing!! Good for you 😀❤️

The 4th date with Mr Modern went well. We were out for 7 hours straight, which means I didn't make any progress on the case study I have to submit next week. Oh well, I guess worst case I'll just resit - bit of financial damage but won't affect my job 😅

@Crushed23 Oh sounds like everything goes well! It's good you are attracted to him - it's what fwb for isn't it. How is your egg freezing going by the way?

@SamW98 5 hours sound like a very good first date!! 😀Glad you are enjoying yourself after some disappointments.