Dating Thread 248 - Spring is on it's way and so are outdoor dates

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
7. Know your wortH.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Mckittens @NervesOfCotton
Thank you
It was pretty uneventful, sadly, but was a lovely wee trip to the big city
Lovely man, but .... 😟

I really enjoyed our chats he always made me laugh , but today there was nothing, sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me , as , I'm not even getting excited about the prospect of dates, or the online chats , could have been George Clooney sitting opposite me today , but I feel nothing ?? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ don't get me wrong , I'm and still friendly, chat was flowing, but just missing something ??

Think I'm gonna take a break from the apps
And like another OP said , get a cat 😟

And if our dates dont work out maybe we could have cat dates instead! @librauk

Tamigotxh Yes, the worst one wanted my actual measurements so that he could check how 'flabby' I was. He said that he didn't mind if I was over weight but doesn't want to be seen with me if I was 'massive'. When I told him to just move on & find somebody smaller, he said something like 'Ok don't get your knickers in a twist you fat whale'

(Obviously now, i'd have stopped that chat immediately!)

The plus side for me, of OLD so far has been that my (admittedly very few) dates have all looked the same or better than their photos.

librauk Sorry it didn't work out but I'm glad it wasn't a total disaster for you!

RadiantRainbow I hope you are ok. It's tough isn't it. Personally, I wouldn't meet that one as it seems just too complicated.

That’s disgusting and so cruel @NervesOfCotton and you’re only a size 14 too..I can’t imagine how it is for actual bigger woman (like size 20+)

I’ve noticed a lot of misogynist /red pill men worry a great deal about what other men/society think of their choice of woman. It’s so sad …are they dating to impress their “bros” or dating to find someone they like?!

yeah my dates have all looked the same too with recent photos as well! I’m late 30s and match with men in their 30s and early 40s.

I think its interesting because I've dated a few buff men (6 or 8 packs!) and actually anyone vaguely confident about their weight/looks, wouldnt make a comment like that. It's always the insecure buffoons who do. I'm probably a 16 size myself.

Loopylooni Exactly!
Tamigotxh Whenever I tell anybody that all my dates have looked ok, I feel like I'm jinxing myself for the next one to look awful

OMG! That is awful. What a spiteful small man!
Gratuitous hurtful comments, I can't imagine why someone would say something like that.

@Dauntedbydating and @NervesOfCotton I was also horrified at the measurements request and the comment, just wonder how people aren't afraid of bad karma saying stuff like that (I am 100% sure this kind of stuff comes back at them in some shape or form)

Gah sorry to hear all the bad stories. I’ve found that the decent guys -albeit like needles in a haystack - stand out a MILE away from the majority of half-baked, half-ar@ed time wasters on OLD.

Anything less than a proper invested conversation with laughs you’d have with a mate - don’t waste your time.

Cutting losses fast is the way to nip disappointment in the bud. Less likely to get ghosted etc (but it still happens)

Hi ladies! Gosh, I've just been out for a few days and the thread has jumped 10 pages! 😅

Lots of comments here about OLD. I do feel the apps are worse compared to about 3 years ago. Part of it I think is due to my age (I've just turned 35), but part of it I think may be due to changes in algorithm as these apps want to encourage long term subscriptions. Actually, has anyone tried speed dating? I did one last year and thought most men were rather decent (although nothing went anywhere and I did meet a scammer!).

Mr Modern has just come back from holiday and we will arrange to see this weekend 🤞

Just saw in a profile - "Sorry, I don't have any recent pictures"
What?!

@Psychoticbreak
Most definitely
We could go to one of the cat cafes 😊

I remember you mentioning those men @NervesOfCotton, they must see themselves as some sort of Brad Pitt/George Clooney. I've not yet had any negativity about my size (I'm a solid size 16, and tallish at 5'7" and higher with heels). All the OLD guys I've met in real life have complimented my figure, although I've still not ended up meeting THE ONE yet lol

Thank you for the nice comments everybody. It doesn't bother me anymore.

People's comments in RL have been interesting when I've mentioned it. Most say 'Men will say anything when you reject then', but I wasn't rejecting them, this was during regular chat.

Or 'You must have gone for the super good looking ones' Like that makes it ok?! But no, they were just standard looking beer-gut sporting men generally

Anyway, back to now. The one with the thumbs up never said anything else so he's unmatched.

I had one other who had liked me but he was at 30 miles which is just on the edge of being a bit far for me. His profile was perfect though. So I messaged him just a nice message but mentioned the distance may be a bit much, & he came back with 'Blimey, why & how on earth did we match?! You are miles away. What a waste of time to message me, for god sake. I'd never chat at this distance'.

Alright mate calm down, I'm not on the moon

RadiantRainbow Haha, they try that one all the time on the free site! (No recent pics so no photo at all) I just don't answer the No photo ones now but in the past I've said 'Take one now then, you don't have to look perfect, it's just a rough idea of how you look'. And they'd usually say 'I can't, I don't have anybody to take one' 'Selfie?' 'Oh, I don't have a camera phone'

@Okigen I have tried speed dating and singles nights. With speed dating, you tended to find normal, decent looking women who were genuinely set on meeting someone. The men tended to be drunk and unfortunately the extreme ends of the spectrum eg a mouth full of gold teeth, or bar stool height, or just plain strange. Bear in mind this was London and the age range was older. We had more fun at the singles evenings purely because the men seemed genuine and made an effort. Again, lots of much shorter men. Downside was that we discovered these events had been advertised on meet up groups which meant a large number were on hols/new to the country. The vaguely attractive one bloke, we found later to be a seasoned user of these nights. His height meant he always pulled however then ghosted them, rinse repeat

@Okigen @Loopylooni I’ve not tried speed dating but I’ve been to a few singles nights in London, including a couple that market themselves as ‘elite’ singles events. It was always the same story: above-average looking, interesting, accomplished women and below-average looking, creepy or dull men who felt entitled to a woman’s attention just because she was past the age of 30 and therefore must be desperate. I did make a very good female friend at one of these events who I still see regularly.

My date with Mr Pilot at the rooftop bar was okay, but he had just come from the office to meet me and was heading back after our date (investment banking…). Work is central to his life and in that sense we are fundamentally incompatible, so there will be no second date.

I should be meeting Mr FWB this week.

Bumble has been glitching for me a lot recently, did anyone else have it? Like I match with a guy and send a first message, and before they reply he appears in the stack again and the only way to get rid of him is to swipe right again, and then it demands I send a message again! but if I do(tried once), it goes in the same conversation where the original message was. That has happened 4 times with various matches now.
Now, going through the stack and suddenly a window pops up, saying Why not message Tom, you already matched and you could be cute together? And a messaging window...but I don't remember who Tom is, so I thought it must be a new match which was created while I was swiping, so I clicked on the cross(close) of the pop up window, and go look in the queue so that I could look at Tom's profile, but he isn't there? What is it?

@Loopylooni @Crushed23 hmm that's not my experience at all. I went to a speed dating event in the City (I live in London) and maybe it offers a better demographic? The only thing I dislike is these events don't force people to disclose their children status, so one of the two people I matched with already had 2 children, which was a no-no for me.

@Crushed23 oh yes, the joy of investment banking. I was stood up a few months ago by a former colleague who moved into that field. Another guy I chatted on Hinge suggested video call instead of meeting. Ever since then I'm on high alert if the profile mentions "M&A" or "consultancy" 😂If they do trading, it's much better though!

His profile was perfect though. So I messaged him just a nice message but mentioned the distance may be a bit much, & he came back with 'Blimey, why & how on earth did we match?! You are miles away. What a waste of time to message me, for god sake. I'd never chat at this distance'.

@NervesOfCotton bit of an overreaction! 30 miles isn’t that far and even if it is for him fair enough - but there’s a way to more politely say it’s not going to work. It just shows a profile may look perfect but the person can still be a bit odd 😆

I mistakenly matched with a bunch of men in the States shortly after I returned from my
trip there as I’d not updated my new location. We all just joked about it when I explained and had some brief polite chat before unmatching.

Ok i opened fb dating. Wish me luck!

Tamigotxh I have to admit that when I first joined Bumble I couldn't get used to the Swipey thing & matched with several by mistake, but I took the cowards way out (due to being scared of their reactions) & quickly unmatched if any got back to me... I reasoned (to myself) that at least I wasn't leaving them waiting for a response, like men do to me!

Has anyone ever tried Badoo? OMG had a look last night and I swear, I’ve seen a more appealing bunch on the Jeremy Kyle show. Rough doesn’t come close to describing the rogues gallery.

Seriously I’ve had 250 likes since last night and not a single one of them appealing. It’s on par with Ourtime for being full of slack jawed, triple chinned pasty face pensioners with terrible dead eyed selfies giving Norman Bates vibes.

Dont think I’ll be finding Mr Right on there any time soon 🤣🤣

Serious question: are there many, if any, legit guys looking for a relationship?

What’s with men who match with you on say Bumble then either don’t reply/ghost/unmatch and then send you a like on a different app ? I’ve had it several times and don’t get the point.

You had my attention and didn’t bother, you had your chance go away