Is it pathetic to unfriend family on social media because they make you feel triggered.

[Orangeblueberry]

I’ve got a family member who has done nothing wrong to me but having to look constantly at their perfect family photos is making me feel shit. I have de-friended them now but is that me being pathetic?

I’m trying to protect my mental health. I had a shitty childhood and a long abusive marriage (which I left a few years ago) and having to constantly look at their perfect life is really effecting me. My life has been hard and hard lessons have been learned. This other person (she is female) has never worked, her husband pays for everything, she is absolutely happy with this. She gets to stay at home all day whilst the kids are at school and crochet and bake cakes and I’m getting triggered seeing this on a daily basis. Like I said she hasn’t done anything to me personally I just can’t keep looking at it and thinking what crap luck I had, why me.

You can mute people so you don't see their posts. I've got a family member that posts so us all like we are her fans. It's so bizarre. I've muted her

You can do whatever you want with your social media, personally I would have used the "hide" feature so not unfriending them but just not having their posts show up on the social media.

If it's impacting your mental health then you take care of you!

Maybe you'd be better off coming off social media for a bit? Comparison is the thief of joy and all that.

Also try remember that people only post the good things and half of
It is probably massively exaggerated. Chances are she's got shit too.

Happy people don't post their life all over social media.

If I don’t unfriend then I will torture myself and go looking on their page and then feel shit.

Are you the same poster who posted recently about being jealous of their cousin?

I went one further OP & left all social media. I just found it made me feel inadequate at a time when I was already feeling quite vulnerable. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with unfriending people that you find triggering or hiding content that upsets you. There’s a big argument to say that social media isn’t good for anyones mental health & we’d all be better off without it.

@Littleoldme12 no not me. I’ve only one cousin and went to jail as a young adult lol

@Bertiebadgers I do think it would be best for me to leave all of it. It hurts my brain.

You do what's right for you!!
I've unfollowed/muted a few people for similar reasons, but if you don't think that will work, just unfriend them

Give up social media OP.
I have a really really nice life and I gave it up as it made me feel bad.

just say no

My only worry is if the next time we meet she asks why.

Why just this friend? Is she the only sahm? Why focus on her?

If I were you I'd just taken a complete break from social media for a bit. I don't follow anyone on instagram, have never been on facebook, don't do twitter etc. my only thing is reading MN. Honestly I see no upside to SM. Most of it is fake anyway. you never really know what is going on behind the scenes. Take a break, if she asks say "oh I'm going on a SM detox - I have so much more time to do stuff now" you'll feel better for it.

It’s hard when you’ve had a hard life and been through a lot to feel like you fit in. This person just makes me feel so different because they are so perfect at life. I think a break would be good. I do follow really useful things and in groups of people who’ve had experiences like me. I’d miss that.

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh or blunt, but I've spent tens of thousands of pounds and years of therapy and I want to use it for some good!:

That you are triggered, by definition and concept, means it CANNOT be pathetic.

It's causing a reaction in you. It's real.

Block, defriend, mute... completely reasonable.

"This person just makes me feel so different because they are so perfect at life."

i hear that!
It might not be a social media issue then.... I have a person in my life (sort of) like this. But then again, why look at that on SM? I don't do SM for personal stuff so I don't see anyone's highlights reel but it's hard when you see the perfect types anywhere.

This is a recent phenomenon for (definitely related to my own failures) but in your case, muting seems like an option?

I love Instagram for finding out local things and there's some hilarious cartoons on there. I don't follow anyone I know or even disclose that I'm there.

I have a friend who posts all about her ‘wonderful’ life on social media. The nice house, fab cars, kid in private school, the holidays and all the pictures of her and her ‘fabulous’ husband.

Unfortunately it’s all a sham. Her husband is a horrible, abusive arsehole. He controls what she does, criticises her constantly, threatens to leave with their son etc etc. She is too scared to leave in case he takes their son and runs off to his home country.

Don’t believe everything you see on social media.

I think you’ve made the right decision.

I’ve come off social media in terms of having friends - I’ve still got FB and IG but with zero friends (fake name and no photo either), so I can follow things I’m interested in and still be in groups. No regrets. Reasons slightly different but it boils down to the same thing.

This is quite sad, so according to posters, if someone posts happy things on social media they're lying and have a miserable horrible abusive life?
Why are you her 'friend' op if her having a nice life 'triggers' you? How self involved is that? You're not happy she's happy, you're not a friend, tell her that her being happy 'triggers' you and you don't like seeing her happy and see if she still wants to be your friend.

@MyGooseisTotallyLoose ""This is quite sad, so according to posters, if someone posts happy things on social media they're lying and have a miserable horrible abusive life?"

I agree, this is bollocks. Many people have lovely lives - I did till 2020.

My sympathy with OP is that she's finding it hard to cope with seeing someone's lovely life. I'm having this too - I'm glad the person in question is happy, it's just such a shocking contrast to me when I see her, I sometimes feel jarred and upset at what I don't have any more.

I don't want her to be unhappy of course. I just internally groan and then feel sad when I bump into her.

Some do.

You can just mute people.. click "take a break from" so you don't see their posts on your feed anymore.
I do think it's a bit aggressive to block someone... they might be hurt by that. You can't help your feelings but bare in mind just because someone has what to you looks like a perfect life, doesn't mean they don't have any struggles and doesn't mean they don't have any emotions. They might be sad to see someone who they considered a friend just randomly block them.

A friend on FB posts lots of happy family pics and writes about her lovely life , beautiful home money family friends etc . I unfriended her because it really wasn't true because One day I visited and she told me how unhappy she was with her husband and how he got on her nerves , not one good word was said about him . He's a nice enough man . A few days later she posted a kissing picture with her husband with the words, after all these years we still love each other and wouldn't change a thing .
I had to unfriend it was so fake book