Boyfriend always asking for money

[Banana1979]

In Jan this year I got on with a new partner who was working
we were talking on and off for quite awhile before that
unfortunately he had an accident at work in early Feb and has been on ssp ever since
he has no children.
he lives about 20 miles away, so not too close, and we see each other about once a week. I go to his when DD age 9 is at her dads or nans
lately he has been asking me for money money for his Internet bill money for his food money for cigarettes. I feel awful saying no, but there are times I have given him money. I’ve just looked in my bank account and I’ve counted so far £600 I’ve given in total since Feb
£50 here £100 there £30 here it all adds up. I have said to him today a fat no short on money myself. His Internet has run out because he didn’t pay the bill last month and he is messaging me saying he’s fucked. He has no cigarettes or Internet.
I am absolutely livid with myself for giving any money to begin with, as I felt bad he couldn’t work and it would be bad to dump someone for basically losing their job through an accident
and I am even more livid with myself for being with a man who could think it’s okay to ask his partner for money for cigarettes and Internet when he knows I have a child
I said to him today, I don’t feel fucked if I don’t have money for my Internet I just get on with my day however he saying he’s suicidal because he cannot smoke or watch the TV
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this. It sounds so ridiculous, but this is what I am being met with. I think I should dump him but i don’t want him doing something stupid
yesterday he asked if I could do a food shop for him via Amazon, fresh but I just don’t have the money. Both his parents died a few years ago and he has no siblings or extended family which is making me feel bad every time I say no
I have said to him today that I have a daughter, I need to think about and any more money I get in future I need to be going on her or in my savings account and not on him
he isn’t my responsibility
I refuse to answer the phone to him today, because I know he’s going to ask for money and I said to him I did not answer the phone because my mum came round which she did, and then he sent me a message replying that I am full of excuses
I don’t know what excuses he is talking about, but his finances are not my responsibility. I am going to dump him but is there a way of doing it gently . This is affecting my mental health

This

You barely know this loser so don't worry about sparing his feelings. Dump him, then block & be relieved you dodged a bullet.

Dear God. He sounds bloody awful. Thank god it's not compulsory to have this waste of space in your life. Dump and block. Enjoy your freedom!

Tell him you want him to repay the money he owes you. There's should.be crickets straight away. If not, keep repeating yourself.

It sounds like you have met my ex!! I don't think his parents are dead but I seriously wondered for a minute there. Run for the fucking hills and don't look back! I supported the little prick for years to the point I was in thousands of debt. Don't do that to yourself please.

WOW OP, its a huge no. A decent bloke would not ask for money period, for any reason, ever. And least 3 months into a so called relationship, and I am trying not to be blunt here but he is a tosser. To be suicidal? He is using this on you?

600 pounds? What you are going to do now is throw this one back. It will not end well for you on any level. What he is doing is throwing the most scary thing at you, suicide, because you dare to put your foot down on your hard earned money, and he has been with you 3 months, OP that is emotional and financial abuse, 3 months in.

You own him nothing, nada, and I wonder if he would hold you up financially if the shoe was on the other foot, I thing he would have told you no from the of set to be honest. Dont teach your 9 year old that this is all you deserve.

It’s only April, so maybe 9 or 10 weeks at the most. He has bilked you out of 60 a week.

You started dating in Jan and we're only in early April.

He's not a partner, he's a man who is taking money out of your child's life to spend on cigarettes for himself.

Block him and disappear from his life; you barely know the man, you owe him nothing and both you and your daughter will be better off without him around.

He's a user and you are a fool.

Dump him. Now!

Future manrta: we.do.not.give.men.money.

Only total dusties ask women for money.
Fucking swerve!

If he wasn't seeing you he would be having to manage on his own, wouldn't he? Because he'd have nobody to sponge off, and nobody to manipulate.

Dump him. He has taken all that money off you already and will bleed you dry unless you put a stop to it.

Dump him and be on your merry way. You've given (you're never seeing it again so definitely given, not lent) him 600 in 2 months, that's a lot of money!
Don't take his bullshit sob stories after you've dumped him. Just tell I
him it's over and walk away.

Lazy arses dont like to work.

op, dont think twice about him. He gives no shits about you and your daughter. And sounds like an absolute loser. He would drain you and take resources away from your dd.

ask him when he plans to pay back the £600 he owes you. Assume he wont pay back a penny. Then dump him.

Haven’t read it all, so I apologise if it’s been mentioned! But why isn’t he claiming? If he’s not in work, you get money until you’re back in work..

Finish the vile prick.

Looking at how much cigarettes cost, if he did without them for three days ( not necessarily consecutive) he would have enough for the internet and a cheaper supermarket food shop.

Dump him! He's a freeloader and doesn't care taking food out of a babe's mouth.

made to feel shit because I can’t finance him

He's really done a number on you OP. Can't afford fags and internet? His problem.

That 600 pounds could have been in a savings account for your OWN family!

Find your inner bitch and don't let people take advantage of you.

I'm a single mum. Me and my son are nr. 1. No man this selfish is worth your time.

Absolutely you need to dump him, he is using you. Threatening suicide is highly manipulative, telling him to go to the GP if he says he’s suicidal is a good plan and if he says he’s considering suicide in the moment you can phone the police and give his name and address for them to do a welfare check.

You've given £600 to a man you've known 3 months, and given the state of his life, you're never getting that back.

Block his number and move on, he's a complete user.

P.S. He will never^^ kill himself over this, it's just a threat to make you stay.

Dump him. And you can give him your details so that he can pay you back. Don’t contact him for a long period of time. It’s so easy to keep going back - but don’t.

I’ve been there - financial manipulation is horrible

My gosh. £600 since February? That’s absolutely crazy. He didn’t even wait before he started asking for money, you can tell he’s done this before. You need to end things asap, this man is a user and you have yourself and your DD to look after. Don’t let anyone ever guilt trip you into giving you money, especially a grown man

End this now, block his number and take it as a lesson learned. Do not ever give money to a new boyfriend who can’t sort out their own spending money. He isn’t going to kill himself, he’s just manipulating you. Block, don’t have any further contact with him. The prick will soon move on to another victim.

I was thinking the same thing🤣

He sounds a bit like a guy I used to know, who thought he was a master manipulator who could control people's behaviour, and get people to give him things. He wasn't a 'master manipulator', he was just a total git who sponged off vulnerable women. His manipulation was very much in the same ballpark, 'give me money or I'll kill myself'.

And he seriously thought he was so clever and so psychologically astute! What an absolute tosser.

Wonder when he'll start angling to move in with you. Dump him and ignore his suicide threats, if he kills himself he can't con anyone else out of money.

Thank you for all your replies. I actually feel sick now I’ve given him so much money
because it was bits here and there and I was so shocked when I went through my bank account and added it all up
all the messages I am reading here has made me realise how much of a fool I have been

I see how stupid I have been now especially after I fell for his sob story about his parents not being alive and him needing money for food et cetera, which I suspect now he has spent on cigarettes. I am suspecting now that he smokes cannabis because some of the cigarettes in his box I saw that they were cut in half? Does that mean cannabis? I did think it was odd that they were cut in half if he is smoking cigarettes
I kicked out my ex three years ago after he cheated constantly and I’ve been single since and recently feeling lonely
my sister who is lovely is getting married next year, I just feel so alone esp when DD in bed , and now I realise and I just got with whatever user gave me attention. I see this now and I will try and work on myself.
I have sent him a text saying I cannot be with him any longer because I believe he is using me for money and I can’t do this anymore he sent me a reply saying “same here”
not sure what he meant by that but I’ve blocked him
I did wear a jacket of his home once as it was raining. I’m thinking of just sending it back by evri