Boyfriend always asking for money

[Banana1979]

In Jan this year I got on with a new partner who was working
we were talking on and off for quite awhile before that
unfortunately he had an accident at work in early Feb and has been on ssp ever since
he has no children.
he lives about 20 miles away, so not too close, and we see each other about once a week. I go to his when DD age 9 is at her dads or nans
lately he has been asking me for money money for his Internet bill money for his food money for cigarettes. I feel awful saying no, but there are times I have given him money. I’ve just looked in my bank account and I’ve counted so far £600 I’ve given in total since Feb
£50 here £100 there £30 here it all adds up. I have said to him today a fat no short on money myself. His Internet has run out because he didn’t pay the bill last month and he is messaging me saying he’s fucked. He has no cigarettes or Internet.
I am absolutely livid with myself for giving any money to begin with, as I felt bad he couldn’t work and it would be bad to dump someone for basically losing their job through an accident
and I am even more livid with myself for being with a man who could think it’s okay to ask his partner for money for cigarettes and Internet when he knows I have a child
I said to him today, I don’t feel fucked if I don’t have money for my Internet I just get on with my day however he saying he’s suicidal because he cannot smoke or watch the TV
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this. It sounds so ridiculous, but this is what I am being met with. I think I should dump him but i don’t want him doing something stupid
yesterday he asked if I could do a food shop for him via Amazon, fresh but I just don’t have the money. Both his parents died a few years ago and he has no siblings or extended family which is making me feel bad every time I say no
I have said to him today that I have a daughter, I need to think about and any more money I get in future I need to be going on her or in my savings account and not on him
he isn’t my responsibility
I refuse to answer the phone to him today, because I know he’s going to ask for money and I said to him I did not answer the phone because my mum came round which she did, and then he sent me a message replying that I am full of excuses
I don’t know what excuses he is talking about, but his finances are not my responsibility. I am going to dump him but is there a way of doing it gently . This is affecting my mental health

January?
So maximum what? 14 weeks?
Weeks.
And he's already had six hundred quid out of you?

He's a user and don't listen to his manipulative bullshit.

He is looking for a cashcow

So you know him since January, see him maybe once a week and since February you've given him the equivalent of €80 a week because he stopped working.

£600 over the past couple of weeks and now he's "suicidal" because he's out fags?!

No. Just no.

How to dump gently - "This isn't working for me anymore so it's over between us. Take care."

Block, write off your losses and chalk this one down to experience.

You've know him for 4 months. I've had food going off in my fridge longer. He isn't a partner. He's a leech. Dump his arse. If he's too threaten suicide call his local police and ask them do do a welfare visit.

I was in a similar situation after my divorce as I had no boundaries or standards and was vulnerable.
I look back now and don't recognise myself because I was so bloody weak. I also lost a similar amount.
Dump him and set yourself much higher standards,

There is "nice person" and then there is "gullible wet blanket".
Being nice person doesn't mean you are nice to your own detriment. Remember that for next time

Dump him. He's a free loading wanker

Tell him to grow the fuck up and stop sponging off you. Write off the £600 to the idiot tax and block him. He's a waste of space and you deserve better!

I’d write the money off and send a generic dumping text and move on. No opening for discussion or arguments

‘I’ve not been happy in this relationship for some time and, although I care about you, it can’t continue. I wish you the best and hope life gets easier for you soon. Take care.’

Done.

Did he really have an accident or did he give up work?
Get rid of him before you and your daughter is left with nothing

I guarantee that if you ask for your money back he will dump you. Get a grip OP. He is not your problem. Tell him to fuck off.

If you want to do it gently “this relationship is no longer working for me. I wish you all the best.” And then block

Yes, are you sure that the accident is real? Did he ever have a job at all? Is he actually on sick leave rather then working? What was his injury? You only see him once a week. He could have several of you on the go paying for his lifestyle. Ok not likely but this relationship is brand new!!

Either way he's not a keeper.

Agree. Op please don’t send him a polite wish you well message. Just say it’s over and block him.

Don’t give him even the tiniest way to respond

Never stay in a relationship due to pity. Get away from this leech.

Block and never unblock

Tell him you need to be with a grown up who can support himself and not a child relying on handouts from you. Massive turn off.

I bet he's perfectly capable of working in some capacity isn't he?

Fuck dumping him gently, do it brutally. He's a leech who deserves nothing more from you. Cut your losses. He won't harm himself, I promise. He's fair too selfish for that. Send one clear message that he is never to contact you again. Save that message and block. Any further contact, go to the police and report him for harassment. You were only ever a cashpoint to him. Sorry. Oh and it reeks of a drug habit. Coke or smack. Or both.

Just block him. And then please do some work on making sure you don’t end up here again. He’s not your partner. He’s a twat you’ve known a couple of months and you’re tying yourself in knots about dumping him having given him an amount of money that could have paid for a holiday for you and your daughter.

You’ve literally taken money from her and things she could have had or done to pay for fags for a selfish loser.

That’s so beyond the realm of healthy it’s worrying and you’re at risk of becoming a target for someone like this again if you don’t work out why you’ve gone along with this.

I don't think you need to be gentle but you don't owe him an explanation either. He doesn't deserve wiggle room to worm his way out. Tell him you've lost interest and it's over. That's enough of an explanation given you've only been together a few months.

OP, go with your instinct. Which is not to keep handing over money. I was in a situation like this once.

Could I borrow a few quid until payday?

Suicidal cos he ran out of fags? Oh please. Tell this parasite to do one and block him. He won't commit suicide, that is just emotional blackmail which you are falling for. He's not your problem. Please just dump and block, no need for any explanations, you owe him nothing .

It does sound odd, surely he’d have sick pay or be entitled to some kind of payout/support if hes suddenly unable to work… I wonder if he’s been sacked for something?

Omg. Is this the kind of man you want to date? Someone financially irresponsible and manipulative? Can't he get another job? He can clearly make phone calls and look at a TV screen...

Get rid and concentrate on your daughter.