How often do you have sex?

[pinkandblue89]

Nosey Nelly over here but just genuinely curious how often you have sex if you are in a committed relationship?

We go through peaks and lows depending on the time of the month and I was curious how it fluctuates for other couples.

Happy to answer any questions anyone have 🤣☺️

1-2x per day. When we first met it could be 4-6x a day.

But oral is having sex. The main female sex organ is the clitoris after all. Good oral requires skill, applying the right pressure etc. There us so much more to sex than the act of insertion and it’s important to acknowledge this.

Personally, l enjoy a good internal massage with a penis, but l also love oral only sessions too.

And at all times, no oral = no entry.

TMI…

And I’m no prude ..

How are people finding the time? I just find between work, looking after kids and general life (housework, cooking, socializing etc) there's literally no time.

23 years together and around once a week. We always say we should do it more but we don’t always get round to it.

Also @boysgrove you've heard of contraception right? Also just out of curiosity, where are all these children whilst you're conceiving more?

This thread makes me sad. I'm with my DP nearly 6 years, one DC together who's a toddler. The past 2 years or so the sex has dwindled massively. Maybe once every few months and he never finishes with sex (sorry if tmi). He prefers oral, which we do frequently as if we didn't do that, we would have no sex life at all. I realise how utterly pathetic that is. Can't really address it without him getting annoyed or being made to feel like there's no issue. He told me before he's just no massively into sex and that "I'm into him more than he is into me". He claims to have a low libido but will still masturbate frequently so make of that what you will. For context, I'm 11 years younger than him (I'm early 30s) and keep myself looking well. I still get a fair bit of attention from other men but wouldn't act on it. It's so cruel to enforce celibacy on someone. Cheating/leaving isn't an option either.

Gawd @WeAreTheTreaclePeople it sounds as if couples therapy is urgently needed. Telling you that you're more into him than he is to you makes him sound really insecure - as if he's so afraid you'll leave that he's refusing to be vulnerable with you. The oral-and-masturbation only bit sounds as if he is not telling you something. Or else he's just discovered his inner twat. Hey, we all have weaknesses but he sounds as if he's really focusing on his. A therapist might help you, though it's always possible he will just use the sessions to blame you for his issues even more.

I prefer sex to washing dishes and cleaning obsessively :) so there's that. I also prefer sex to socializing.
It's what you prioritise in life. It's not a problem if both parties are on the same page.

@Wakemeup17 I prefer it too but with my limited time if I never did the dishes it would be gross, and I wouldn't have clean things to use. By no means do I have a perfect house...

@WeAreTheTreaclePeople that is so sad ☹️ I really hope things get better for you.

It's interesting to read about different sex drives with your partners and we do have this issue sometimes too. I'm abit of a hypocrite when it comes to sex drives as 2 weeks of the month it's usually pretty high so we have had it 4 times this weekend and if he turned me down (which very rarely happens) I would be upset but not mention anything as I'd feel rejected but 2 weeks of the month I couldn't think of anything worse. It's left me with some things to think about especially with how I turn it down etc without upsetting him

The week before my period, I hate everything and everyone. The week of my period, it is like I have been possessed by a sex demon and we have sex maybe 6 times. The next two weeks, we will probably have sex 2/3 times.

Hmm used to be everyday, several times a day even. Now I'm lucky if he showers twice a week and I don't want to share a bed with him most nights let alone have sex. So probably 2/3 times a month with him wanting it more and me trying to figure out when he's last showered.

@Cheeseandwine30 that really does not sound fun! Have you spoken to him about this ?

@pinkandblue89 I have but he tells me I'm nagging him like his mother or act's like it's not happening and tells me he's showered at X time when he hasn't etc. He did improve for a while but it's reverted back to that standard again so given up really! And he can't seem to understand why I have no interest in sex 😂

@Cheeseandwine30 you poor thing, I really don't blame you as I couldn't do it without knowing we're all fresh and clean. I do hope he realises for your sake

😩

We’re trying TTC so ..basically everyday until I’ve ovulated 😂
in normal times we’re a 3-4 times a week.

I wonder this too. Also my kids are late primary/early secondary age. When they're at school we're generally both working. When they're at home they are awake until 9.30/10pm. So the only chance is right at the end of the day, no room for spontaneity, which I think makes it seem a bit like a chore (even of it is really good when we get going).

It's the equivalent of every day if we were together full-time.
So for example I'll arrive at his and we'll have sex once or twice as soon as I land. Then rest or go out for a bit and carry once or twice, once in bed then sleep.
He has a very little refractory period. In fact he can and does carry on.
He starts to wane after the 4th or 5th time.
If the time together is longer not a day it's not usually as frantic or long.
Neither of us smoke-drink and we're not overweight. He's 50 I'm early 40's.

@cemetery genuinely how did you fit in 6 lots of sex a day? Did you do anything else? Work?

Delightful, yes I have heard of contraception. We always wanted 6 children. The kids all have their own rooms & we are financially stable enough to give them a good life. They all go to bed of an evening lol, that's when we have time together...

About 4 times since DS was born almost 6 years ago. No libido and no longer attracted to DH.

@PotatoPudding that's a shame. Is it purely just looks that you're not attracted to him or personality also?