Dating Thread 247

[SamW98]

Continued from 246

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@SamW98

Thank you, I needed to hear that! I've just messaged him 😕

It's so hard isn't it, espcially when it's a lovely person. But I also think that a lovely person deserves to find someone who is crazy about them not someone who is too sad/guilty to let them down.

@blacksocks33 I agree with the general consensus here- you'll be doing him a favour by nipping it in the bud.

But maybe at least it's given you some encouragement - there are decent men out there!

He's just sent me such a lovely reply back. I feel really awful but I know I've done the right thing.

Sorry, I know I sound very dramatic and going against the thread rules about not having a tough skin 🙈

@blacksocks33 well done for messaging him and not going through with a second date. I know it's hard but you will get a thicker skin as you date more

@blacksocks33 - you’ve given me the push to message Mr Electrician and cancel a second date so in a weird way, thank you.

Some positive updates from people this weekend though on here 😎

I am seeing Mr SV tomorrow evening. His comms are a little rubbish so I’ve been keeping my options open and met up with Mr Kitman today who is lovely, just maybe lives a bit too far away. And then there’s Mr Soldier who I’m meeting for coffee in a couple of weeks but think that’s just going down the friends route!

A new week tomorrow …. happy dating 😂

@Browniesandcustard haha, oh god! you're welcome 🙈 were you just not feeling it too?

@2anddone thank you lovely ❤️

When I had my first date with Mr shy I came home and felt so giddy and excited and that's why I know that this wasn't for me. I really want to feel giddy!
Now don't get me wrong, I know feelings can develop over time, but I also think you know what you don't want. I really hope Mr beard goes on and finds a lovely lady. He deserves one. He was one of the good ones!

I must say though, the lack of contact this week has really worked for me. It really have so much more room to talk today which was refreshing! I think a few texts in the evening just really worked and stopped me over investing! I really hope I can take that moving forward.

Thanks again for all the support on here! Hopefully the next one will be the right one 🫤🤞🏼

@blacksocks33 nope. A lovely, lovely man but just not quite right - like you, kind of no spark/giddyness. He’s read my WhatsApp message but not replied 😳

Hey everyone, had my date with Mr Teacher. He is lovely, we talked for ages and time just carried away - helped the weather was lovely and we were in a nice beer garden. I think I like him. He was a little nervous and that made me nervous! Had a nice kiss at the end and he wants to see me again.

I feel really hesitant and unsure. I am aware that I have been investing finding someone for a year, and I just don’t know if I can trust my own feelings!

@LittleFloatingGhost he sounds lovely!

@LittleFloatingGhost that sounds fab! Have you arranged to meet again?

@LittleFloatingGhost lovely update I assume you will agree to see him again?

Oh @blacksocks33 dont know what to say here. Read so much about that flutter just being crazy chemistry saying hello to each other but I dated someone for 18 mths because he was nice and safe after my ex and I never fancied him, and the whole thing was pitiful. So hard - trust your gut and if it’s no good, just walk away.

@2anddone @Browniesandcustard @Loopylooni

He does seem to be.

I need to go back with when I’m free as he is away the back end of the week and likely need to flex my work day to make it happen.

@LittleFloatingGhost awww, that's a lovely date update, he sounds very promising 😊

LittleFloatingGhost Great update! Lovely. I'm glad that it went so well, & hope that you can sort out another date without too much difficulty!

blacksocks Its good that you had a nice time but I'm sorry that it ended the way it did.
Also, re mums advice. My mum used to give me horrendous dating advice! She pretty much wanted me to give everybody a second chance no matter how awful the date had been/the man was!

I once had a date (documented on here) with a man who was horrendously racist about everybody. He said things that I'd never even heard said before, about different nationalities etc (amongst other terrible things) as I sat there in stunned silence.

My mum told me to give him another try as he was probably nervous.

@LittleFloatingGhost ahhh how lovely! So glad your date went well ❤️

@NervesOfCotton oh god, what are our mums like?! They just want to see us with someone... and after a long stint of being single that seemingly means just anyone does it 🫤
My mum asked me this morning if I'd messaged him and I told her yes and she then went in a really fed up mood 🙈

I feel like I'm really tired of tinder and bumble..... scrolling is just boring. Same townie guys on both! I opened hinge for the first time in a while this morning, and still considering match!
I just don't want a laddy-lad! Someone nice and active and positive with a laid back life is what I'm looking for!!

I'm back on this thread! After a month of lovely, stress free dating. The nice guy has gone AWOL for two days... weirdly coincided with me deciding I was going to let down my barriers and give him a chance!!! 😂 what a fool I am!

Oh no @mumofoneanddone82 hopefully he just has life stuff going on and will contact you today? Have you messaged him?

@2anddone he has had some work stuff going on, which he was quite happy to tell me about and lean on for advice and support! Then this weekend heard next to nothing. When we did text it felt so distant, which I mentioned! He reassured me it was work taking its toll. But not heard anything since Saturday morning and now I've mentioned something I'm loathed to reach out again!!! I hate this dating bullshit haha!! It was simple and nice for nearly three weeks!! 😂

Does sound a bit like he is starting to check out I would probably send a hope your day wasn't too stressful text this evening and leave it up to him to reply?

Oh bless you! Why does this always happen when we decide to let our barriers down?

I think that I wouldn't write it off just yet... as he has said that work is occupying him atm! Sometimes when your mind is heavy it's just hard engage with other people! Maybe just give it a couple more days and fingers crossed he'll reach out to you! Would be very shitty to ghost after a month!!! Hope you're ok. I know it's so hard when it gets like this :(

I do agree with thsi though, I would be inclined to check in if it was me but understand why you don't want to!

This is like most dates I go on - I have an okay time but there is no spark.

I have sparked with someone once in 7 months… but he obviously didn’t feel the same away because we didn’t get past a first date.

@blacksocks33 I am just reading about your date!! If I don't feel a tiny bit of a spark I just can't get past it! Weirdly I went on a date with a guy who was everything amazing on paper but no spark! I didn't give up and went on three dates and had a kiss and there was nothing there! Could you try one more date?

@2anddone and @blacksocks33 I'm not going to reach out again! I've mentioned twice over the past few days about catching up for a chat on the phone. On sat he said he'd call if he got back from his friend's early and I've heard nothing since! I really am a firm believer of if he wanted to he would! I also have a stressful week coming up, which he knows about so would be pretty big red flag if he didn't even check in to see how I am!! Weird, as I really judged him wrong if that's the case!! But guess I've never been a good judge of character 😂