Dating Thread 247

[SamW98]

Continued from 246

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@SamW98 Fingers crossed that this new guy is decent 🤞 You deserve a bloke who will communicate with you properly and not lewdly

@blacksocks33 good that you're not feeling anxious. Also that minimal texting has kept expectations low - I hope they're exceeded when you meet him tomorrow!

I had dinner with Mr B last night, he was his usual easy-going charming self. It was good to meet without sex - he also travelled quite a long way and with a lot of inconvenience to meet me, which is encouraging. He has suggested we go away for a night somewhere.

Not a peep from Mr Crash since a few messages during the week. I did feel I should meet him again, but not feeling that motivated. Mr B makes suggestions and books restaurants etc - and it's so nice to have someone who takes the initiative. As an uncomplicated fling this is good.

Late 50's guy here, feeling a bit of heat from this thread about my demographic! I think I am reasonably articulate and communicative!

I little bruised having been given the Dear John letter...it's not you...it's me from someone I met on Bumble and thought was quite special.
We went out for drinks and meals about 5 times, so I had thought we were getting on well. We were quite tactile and she came to mine for dinner and we spent some time in bed, but she didn't stay.

Something that did niggle a bit was that although she had a resonably senior role she didn't offer to pay for any of the drinks or meals.

I have two new irons - MrTeacher and MrFunny. Date with MrTeacher on Sunday. They have both been great communicators, initiate messages and calls. MrFunny said he wanted to spoil me which I shut down immediately and he responded respectfully - more so as I am traveling to his area as he doesn’t drive, not an attempt at love bombing - moved from London and never needed a car, but is learning.

I seem to be having FaceTime dates initially this year and not moving to in person unless I am feeling it. Saves time and money! I have had six first dates this this year and only one in person. Not counting Mr Music, this will be my first second date of 2024 with MrTeacher.

Welcome @dauntedbydating, you posted here before I recall. I'm sorry to hear you have been given the Dear John letter, that must be painful.

@LittleFloatingGhost It's sensible to Facetime first and see how you get on. It seems like you were lucky with Mr Teacher and Mr Funny and at the same time you know what you want 👏

@Dauntedbydating

Honestly we’re not having a go at the whole demographic but from our experiences of OLD there’s a lot of dreadful older men out there so if you’re articulate and genuine then you’re head and shoulders above 99% of the others.

And personally I think not offering to pay is rude, entitled and grabby. It’s plain bad manners imo.

I have found most men will pay for the first date but I always offer. And subsequent dates should be split or alternate. If a man buys me dinner, I’ll buy the drinks afterwards.

Yep I did 😬 he’s nice, proper kind of man’s man which I really like. He is lovely though so far so just trying to chill about the whole thing a bit

Sorry to hear that. Yeah 5 times is quite far in I would say to do that to someone. My ex husband did it to me though when we were dating just messaged out of the blue saying “I think we have come to the end of the road”. I was gutted and then he came back a few weeks later like nothing had ever happened. I stupidly ran back and he was a sociopath who made my life hell for 4 years! You might have dodged a bullet

@Dauntedbydating this happened to recently.. 5 dates in and I felt like the rug was pulled from my feet. He really was a lovely person, and he deserves to find the right person, but a few weeks later and the wounds majorly healed, k see that his communication style wasn't right for me! I don't want to be second guessing myself constantly, I deserve more!

I think all demographics get a bad rep tbh, OLD is just brutal from all corners 🙈

Just saying a quick hello to everybody.

I've not been bothering for a while. Back on Bumble & the Free one on Friday, nothings changed!

Messages from 300+ miles away on the free one.

Got one chat going & he was all
Fine
Yes
Good
Nice

I did (give a final chance!) & said 'I'm trying to get a chat going here, but it's quite difficult with one word answers'. & he replied 'lol'. FFS.

2 matches on Bumble that expired with no contact.

1 match on Friday, good chat. Woke up to find I was unmatched.

I've just seen a profile that says 'All photos are recent, taken early 2021, so you don't need to moan about me not looking like my photos lol'

3 years isn't recent to me.

Hi @NervesOfCotton I've been wondering how you are getting on! Sounds like same old same old on the apps! I am currently off the apps and all deleted while I am busy with Mr IRL.
Also can't remember if I told you, do you remember Mr T from the start if the year who I text all day and chatted for hours with before he decided he was too messed up for me and asked to stop chatting for a few weeks? Well he messaged me after a week and we have had a couple of phone calls since start of March, message almost daily though only a few times a day instead of hours and met for coffee and lunch in the city near him a couple of weeks ago when my daughter was there for a dance comp. We are definitely friend zoned but I am actually really happy with that as we get on so well I would prefer to have him as a friend than anything more complicated!
Hope you find someone who can string a sentence soon!!

@Dauntedbydating there definitely seems to be a bit of cultural/geographic bias on the apps. I'm in Europe aiming at the 50+ demographic on Hinge and Bumble and my experience has not been the same as the women on here in the UK. Men have been articulate and respectful (different nationalities, including Brits).

As for my own behaviour, while I have let a few chats fizzle out, I usually politely signal that I'm going to leave the conversation.

On the first date I usually pay half. Only once did someone pay for drinks and dinner for me but he was too quick for me to intervene!

Hi 2anddone
That's nice to hear. I'm glad that you've had some kind of a happy ending with Mr T! I didn't realise that it had been that long.

Time flies when you are trying to find somebody to date, who actually has something to say

Hi all, just getting ready to meet my date today!
I feel fine about it, I have definitely learnt by previous mistakes and not got ahead of myself. I feel fine either way.

But ahh the thought of walking up to a stranger on a first date kills me every time 😂🙈 what do I even say?! Normally I word vomit which is probably why I probably have no success!

I'll update later!

Hope all goes well with the date @blacksocks33!

Finger crossed @blacksocks33 🤞 Wishing you good luck! Report back will you? 😊 Good conversation consist of two people making an effort, it's not solely your job to keep it going. Good luck once again!

Have a lovely time @blacksocks33 looking forward to reading your report back later

@blacksocks33
Have lovely time today .

@NervesOfCotton I kniw I honestly do t know where the time has gone! It's been a month this coming Friday since me and Mr IRL started meeting up though to be fair we only manage a couple of times a week thanks to his girls being very vocal about not wanting their parents to find anyone else and us actually living so close to each other it's impossible to pop round after work as the whole neighbourhood knows his (sign written) van!!

Fat thumbs making spelling errors!!🤦‍♀️should say I know I don't know where the time has gone!!

Don't worry about it @2anddone it's good to read your updates

2anddone Yes, it's that thing of... Local is good but there's such a thing as too local!

Good luck blacksocks33

I am getting ready for my date with Mr Teacher. He went out last night and got a little drunk, called me and we had a chat, which meandered some how to him asking if I have any other dates. Apparently I answered like a politician 😂 anyway I did say I have a date with another person, he thanked me for being honest but did say it was a little unnerving as he hasn’t done OLD and wasn’t expecting that.

Anyway we chatted for a bit and then FaceTimed, it was really fun and he seems lovely.

I cancelled Mr Funny for next week as I didn’t think he was that funny and had said a few things which made me a little unsure!

This morning I messaged Mr Teacher and said if you do change your mind about today just let me know by X time. He called me and was reassuring :)

@NervesOfCotton 👋 Good to see you!

@SamW98 🤞🏽

Happy Sunday to everyone! great to read some positive signs / updates here! I was supposed to have 2 dates this week, one of them deleted his profile as we were planning a date 🙄and other one got rescheduled, for a reasonably good reason, but still annoying. I'm still talking to 2 other people, they both have good chat, although one of them, Mr Smart, it's moving very slowly (consistent but slow texting). With the other one, Mr Runner, I'm waiting for him to suggest a meeting soon, otherwise we move into a penpal territory. He's also got kids (and we are not too close to each other) so logistically may not be easiest.

Hi LittleFloatingGhost Aww Teacher seems nice! Good update. I hope it goes well later