Dating Thread 247

[SamW98]

Continued from 246

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Sorry to hear that @Starseeking it does the same to me. I’m about to see my date for the 4th time today, he seems pretty solid so far and hasn’t flaked at all but after so many bad experiences with men, I’m just waiting for it! You could see how it goes on one date with this guy but if the communication makes you anxious maybe move on?

Ahhh I'm so glad you hear you're up to date 4!! Amazing!

I bet it was weird getting that text, did he ever reply to you?
I think it's a tough one. Soemtiems you can meet the right person at the wrong time. My best friend was seeing someone from bumble and it came to an abrupt end. A year later their paths crossed again and reconnected and they've been together years and are probably my happiest friendship couple! I know this isn't always the case, and I'm not advocating falling back into any bad "situationships" at all.... but like I said, sometimes it can just be the wrong timing!
I would listen to your gut and trust it ❤️ I agree though 1 or 2 texts a week is crap!

Mr beard did his daily text late yesterday evening. These check in texts are quite long and chatty.... I think like others have said he's going quiet because of our date lined up. I'll probably just do these same and text him this evening. Tbh I have no expectations of this date. Im doing my best to not overly invest in people after last time so maybe this is serving me a purpose!

Sorry second but if my message was for @Starseeking

Thanks @blacksocks33. Since dating as a single parent, I'm firmly in the camp of not making someone a priority when they are viewing me as an option. If it's meant to be with Mr Pan, I will leave him make it happen, as I'm certainly not going to chase any man for his attention.

@blacksocks33 as long as the contact with Mr Beard is consistent in his daily catch-ups, it'll probably be fine 😊

@blacksocks33 @Starseeking This happened with me, I'm now seeing someone I dated several years ago. He broke things off at the time for various health reasons and if im totally honest, I wasnt in the best place with a horrible ex and no job. A few years later and I've got a great job and things with my ex are harmonious. My partner has come through a lot of his own issues himself and I guess we are both older and wiser. It definitely wasn't the best timing then despite me so wanting it to work. Sometimes life moves in weird ways.

Well I am still in friendly contact with Mr TV, making sure that he is initiating almost all conversations. But I have been asked out by someone at my hobby IRL so I’m meeting him tomorrow - we’ll call him Monsieur as he’s French, he’s perhaps a little keen but we’ll see.

Sorry everyone been rubbish at catching up this week. @blacksocks33 what happened with the date? I can’t remember when it was planned for to see if it did happen??

Hope everyone has had a good week.
Mr IRL and I have only managed to get together once this week as he has been so busy with work before he goes away on Friday for a week.
Messages have started tailing off a little bit (there were never hundreds to begin with) not sure if that's normal or if it's all starting to come to an end! I am still trying hard not to catch feelings...not going to lie it's getting harder! And alternate between thinking if it does end at least I had a month of fun and it helped me over my very long dry spell and feeling a bit sad which is crazy because I honestly can't see any sort of future with him he still loves his ex wife and is constantly on her Facebook page liking every status or meme she posts....still has a photo of the 2 of them as his profile picture too says he doesn't know how to change it and doesn't want to upset his girls by changing it!
Anyway....how is everyone else's week going?

@Mountainormolehills whhh good luck today!

@Bestlife18 my date is tomorrow. I don't really have any major feelings for it, other then first date dread 😂 he's averaged on 1 text a day since we agreed the date, and whilst it's been a long engaging message and I have enjoyed not having the pressure of texting.... it's killed the vibe a little! I think I have learnt though that I don't like day time texting, I've been much more present with work and friends and children without it! We're also still chatting on the app... not WhatsApp. Not sure if this is a bit of a flag, or if he's just waiting to see how the first date goes etc.... but I'm just taking it as experience. I'm not expecting anything at all! I would like to be presently suprised but I'm not hopeful!

@2anddone ahhh o was wondering how you were getting on! It must be hard to not catch feelings/get used to contact and meet ups. Do you see you walking away given what you said or still feel comfortable with how things are?

Hi ladies, good to catch up again. Feel like it's been ages.

I was very busy and stressed out with my life so didn't catch up with mr T so Idunno if he feels slighted by that or woteva. I just can't have my life revolve around a man when it's so stressful lately.

I met Mr. Full-on in the wild. Gosh that was scary. He didn't say anything creepy or bad per se, he was just so keen. There's nothing wrong with that, I just can't reciprocate intense feelings atm. I'd like someone chill and stable to ground me a lil 😁

Will read your updates now, I missed you all

@blacksocks33 thank you! At least having met him in the wild means that I know I find him physically attractive, I have no idea if there’s anything more on either side but I’m sure we’ll have fun. Meeting Mr Arty for antiquing and lunch but that’s a total friend zone, even if he was keen he messages once a week max which doesn’t work for me, but very glad we are friends.

Monsieur has said he wants to impress me, but then we’re going to an Irish bar which I don’t think is particularly impressive? I think I’m so hard to please!

Elsewhere my sister has got wind of the fact that an old friend of mine is doing well for himself and has asked me out, which I declined as I just don’t see him that way. But she’s keen for me to go for it - nope! Happy to be friends and I can provide for myself thank you!

@Mountainormolehills It's good that you're still in contact with Mr TV. Great that you're meeting Monseiur, might be fun -- let us posted how it goes. I agree, Irish Bar doesn't sound that impressive but perhaps he plans to impress you at a later date

@Bestlife18 How have things been with you? Any prospective dates at the moment? I hope things are good.

@2andsone Ihave been wondering how you have been doing. So invested in your story. You definitely had a fun and he seems like he was fun to chill with. I think it's normal to catch feelings if someone seems okay and you're enjoying each other's company.

@blacksocks33 I remember you having a date tomorrow, I hope it goes well. It's great you've been present with work, children, and friends as OLD can be so time-consuming and addictive. It doesn't have to be a red flag that you're still chatting on the app necessarily. I think when you see him this Sunday you're going to have an even better idea of how you two work IRL. Fingers crossed.

@cassiatwenty I’m thinking Monsieur might mean either personality or looks, he’s getting dressed up so I’m thinking it might be that.
I’m definitely being detached from Mr TV but it’s interesting to me that in the last year the people who I’ve had chemistry with are the only ones who I’m still in contact with, Arty guy excepted, we have never ‘dated’ despite meeting on a dating site!

@blacksocks33 I am planning on continuing for now, he sent me a message this morning apologising for not messaging as much this week but he has been working with his brother rather than alone so it has been much harder plus he is really busy cramming jobs in before his week off.

@cassiatwenty it is hard not to catch feelings I think what has surprised me the most is he is not at all my type! He is 6 years older than me (usually go for same age or younger), has a beard (which I don't usually like but his is more long stubble than beard) and smokes (which on bumble I had as my non-negotiable!!)....though if I am completely honest all of those things have helped me stop catching feelings so far!

Hi everyone good luck for those with dates!

I also have a date this weekend with mr sensible. I’m not sure if he is to sensible…

I have a possible date with mr F too but I’m taking it slow as I’m so busy!

A possible fwb appeared on my app yesterday who lives close but then disappears from my chat. Then reappeared again. He said app was making him reverify. Then he disappeared again as we were about to video call (his idea) very bizarre and quite frustrating! Wondered if anyone else has had this issue? He hasn’t reappeared!

I remember someone else posting something similar about the disappearing... could it be when they pause their profile??

@blacksocks33 it was on tinder and I’ve seen a few profiles stating they had been locked out and lost matches so starting again etc. He said it was asking him to show he was human. But was locked out for hours. It’s all very odd because he was asking to meet/call etc this weekend. But now nothing.

That's strange isn't it because it's quite an elaborate lie if he's no longer interested!! Did you say you can't see him now? Maybe give him your number when he comes back?

@Tillievanilly To be fair, Tinder (the app) can get a bit crazy, it's been known to lock people out for no reason

@cassiatwenty so I am heading into date 5 tomorrow with mine! It’s been really good so far - I did “test the goods” on Thursday which was amazing and definitely fancied each other. Tbh I had worried I wouldn’t feel like that ever again so if nothing else it’s proved I’m not dead inside 😂

@blacksocks33 wishing you very best of luck for yours, you must let us know how you get on. I know what you mean about the daytime texting but then my anxious style comes out and I panic when people don’t message 😩

@Bestlife18 I had no idea you had a sample already but I'm pleased that it was worth it 😁 It's so exciting then! What does he look like? Does he have a nice personality? I hope you have a nice time next time you two meet.

I’m banned for life from Tinder but I have no idea why and they won’t tell me.

Ive never actually used the site. Tried to sign up and got a message saying I’ve violated their terms and banned for life.

I messaged them but they say they don’t enter into communication with banned users 🤷‍♀️

@Bestlife18 I know what you mean! I get anxious about ghosting, as well al know 😂, but this time is been fine. I wouldn't like this long term though.... Maybe I'm not feeling anxious because I don't feel like he's bothered and already accepted i probs won't hear from him after tomorrow 😂🙈

Well I never heard a word from the one I had a call with last week but tbh I wasn’t fussed anyway. Think he’s a serial dater and can’t be single more than a couple of months which isn’t appealing to me.

Started chatting to one yesterday and we’ve actually been communicating really well. Unusually for the ones I usually attract, he can write proper sentences and answers questions plus asks some as well

So normal updates but my usual seeing how it goes

@SamW98 I remember you sharing that already, Sam. There are lots of people online who state they have been banned for no reason. Some US social media do that weirdly for no reason. It's so odd.