Dating Thread 247

[SamW98]

Continued from 246

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Oh and I matched with a guy on bumble yesterday and messaged saying I’m out all day so just saying hi so match doesn’t expire and we can chat properly later

Got home last night and hes sent 14 messages the last couple ‘are you home yet?’ ‘Hello are you there’ ‘are you ignoring me’

I am now mate - unmatched you loon

Some of the opening messages I've had on match are hilarious. My favourite still being wanna fuck? First thing on a Sunday morning. Clear from my profile that I'm not looking for a hook up. Makes you wonder what goes on in the minds of some most of them.

@SamW98 14 messages 😳
Bullet and dodged springs to mind.

@Mckittens

Some of the opening messages you realise why they’re single. I’ve had

It would be rude if I didn’t mention your cracking tits

Are you wearing knickers under those trousers and are they wipe clean?

Send me your address Get in bed open the Prosecco and be ready when I get there

Do you want to come to mine for a BDSM session - no strings?

Would you let me lick your feet?

Do you like younger men with big cocks?

And there’s a whole long list where those came from. Who said romance is dead? 🤣

@SamW98 that's some list, 😆 got to keep a sense of humour in the face of such adversity.

I've also had a few BDSM offers. Surely they'd be better looking on a site that specifically caters for it? I actually asked someone who I'd been having a lot of chat with if there was anything on my profile that would make people think I'd be into BDSM and he said no not at all unless it was the way my hair was done in one of my photos. So I deleted that one and so far no more fetish or kink related offers 😆

This list is both depressing and highly amusing. I wonder why these men are single?!

You can create the profile, have a look at who is on there and then if you want to message anyone, sign up. That's what I did anyway. I'd wait to see if it is worth signing up before you do!

@Mckittens@SamW98 once again I'm astonished by the behaviour of men on the apps in the UK. I'm also combing through the 47-55 year old market over here in Europe and while I've yet to meet a man who sweeps me off my feet, respectful conversations are the absolute norm - I've only had a couple of sex chat attempts and never straight off. I've seen a few profiles looking for threesomes or BDSM etc but swerve those. Out of the 35+chats I've had, while some are clearly still married, some just naturally just fizzle out, and in many cases I've had polite updates informing me they've met someone and will now exit the chat!

I've been on Hinge and Bumble although both temporarily paused/deleted. Just wondering if I should join Feeld and Match for some truly comparative research 😆quite enjoying the break for now.

@Chocolatefreak I don't want to ask and be rude, but you got me wondering where in the world are these respectful men located 😜

Well I can tell you they’re definitely a rare breed within 50 miles of the M25 🤣

@cassiatwenty I live in quite an international city, I'm wondering if this has anything to do with it - lots of different nationalities here and perhaps everyone is anxious not to offend for that reason. Although I make it clear on my profile I'm from the UK.

Despite all the time I've lived here I'd still quite like someone who shares the same cultural references as me. Not a deal breaker though and clearly not the 'cracking tits love' type! That's extremely unlikely though since I'm boob deficient 😂

@SamW98 Now I know where not to look 🙈

@Chocolatefreak Living in a large international city in the EU sounds like fun. It seems as though you've met some decent men 😊

Sadly I think it's a Uk wide issue as I'm nowhere near the M25. I think @SamW98 may be right though in terms of it being even more of an issue with the over 50's, no clue how to communicate and sex 'starved' porn addicted following break down of long marriages plus anonymity of a dating website = plethora of middle aged sex pests

I think SamW gets more than their fair share of awful messages - never met anyone who has had that many!

I do wonder if there is truth that it’s predominantly men in their 50’s though?

Only a handful of mine (35 - 48) have been inappropriate. I deleted someone a few days back who mentioned my skin colour. I guess they thought it was a compliment but it was creepy and unnecessary.

@LittleFloatingGhost

I think it must be an over 50 thing as all of my friends who have tried OLD have had pretty much same and worse in some cases.

We’ve got a chat group where we screenshot and share the sleazy messages and some of them are jaw dropping.

Pretty much all of my single mates all over 50 have been sent unsolicited dick pics. I’m about the only one who hasn’t had that treat 😱

I really do think there’s a lot of truth in that. It’s not like there’s the odd wrongun in the over 50’s category, they’re everywhere

And it’s not just OLD, I’ve met a few men in the wild last few years and they’re the sane. Seem fine first couple of chats then start talking sleazy, invite themselves to stay over first date etc. They seem absolutely clueless in how to speak to women in a respectful manner.

@LuckyLinda3 Hopefully as you'll see each other less he will make some extra effort.
Now that evenings are lighter it really feels that you can do more after work.

Things are good with me...not really dating. Have a FWB of 18 months and that's going really well as we also do things like trips away and walks etc

Exactly @SortingItOut, I plan to use the time well and will take any social opportunity that arises too. I think he's also a bit apprehensive about this as I'm much more settled and confident in myself now than I was when we first got together. We both trust each other but he's so social that he will have to adjust to not going out at weekends and also deal with me going on. I'd like for it to work but equally won't accept scraps.
Glad to hear you are well and yes the longer evenings bring so much possibility. You seem to have a great thing going with your FWB, fair play.

Read this twice and still have no idea why he is single?! 😜

Ewwwwww!!!!!

So Mr beard has asked me if I'm free for a date an evening next week. I'm not free nor until next Sunday which is annoying as it feels ages away and he might not even be free then 🫤 Anyone else has to book it in like a week in advance before?
He seems quite coy, but it's hard to tell over message!
I do feel like it's coming across as quite settled and easy chat. He's making joint effort to keep the convo going and I'm not second guessing myself which is good. It's just so hard to know how you feel before you meet isn't it!

He needs a time machine to the 1950s not Tinder.

Yeah it’s hard for me to get any time booked in too. I was out on date 3 tonight til a whole 9pm with my parents watching my kids for a couple of hrs and they have been moaning like hell about that. so difficult when you are a single parent and trying to develop a relationship.
But date 3 went really well - dinner tonight and he was lovely.

I asked the question
Reply was ...God knows 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️