Dating Thread 247

[SamW98]

Continued from 246

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

It's because she is so much older that he is worried! She lives with him at the moment but only because it's while her and her partner and child save money to move out but that should be in next 3 or 4 months.
He knows we are doing nothing wrong but also knows his ex wife will twist it to make out we were having an affair before she moved out to try to get a bigger pay off!
I am convinced that the daughter only really means the mother not getting with someone else so soon but it's just not worth the risk at the moment!

Spare change lol 😎

Yeh, that's fine to ask.

Don't be afraid of saying what you want either. I've opened with this is what I'm looking for, what about you?

@2anddone ah ok I get it. Bloody tricky though 😔

Yeah, if he doesn't have it written it's okay to ask. I just worry his response might be too vague. But better to figure this online than meeting and having an awkard moment. It's ok to be assertive, you are not hurting anybody, just looking out for yourself

Well Mr TV has said that he wants to see me again, he was quite confused when I asked if we were going to see each other as he just assumed that we would, so I’m feeling much more relaxed. Nothing sorted out yet but I hope it will be next week. Not sure if he’s seeing other people or just chatting to them but as long as we’re both open that’s ok.

I always ask how long they have been single since coming across a rebound person! Men often ask me quite early on how I’m finding the apps/ what I’m looking for? So now I do the same. If someone hadn’t been single very long it would put me off. I spent a year alone through choice and still was wary of getting out there. So it’s different for everyone I guess. I’ve got quite a few chats going on since rejoining 2 apps. Out of all of them one has to be a keeper I’m hoping. A few are further away than I’d like. But I don’t like them to near either! My good conversation from yesterday has given me the ick by asking how I’m funding something in my life….

Thank you all!
If I could change/develop anything about my personality it would be to be more assertive and forward so hopefully this experience will help me at least achieve that never mind find Mr right 😂🙈

@Browniesandcustard it is! Means meet ups are limited and there is a lot of sneaking around, which doesn't help with stopping him think we are doing something wrong!

Hi everyone, been mad busy this week so just catching up! I’ve got a bit of an update - had first date last week with the guy I met on match. That went well and then had a second on thurs just gone, just a drink and another this sun for food. It’s just been a couple of hrs here and there as work and childcare commitments have clashed but it’s looking good. Seems to have a good relationship with ex so I’m hoping that’s a sign he wasn’t a cheat/shitbag/ etc!!

@Bestlife18 thats really encouraging, great update!

@Bestlife18 yay! Sounds good!!

@SamW98 Well, they say women are happiest single, and men married...

I assume if someone doesn't have what they are looking for filled in their profile, that they're not looking for a relationship/ anything serious. But even if they have something filled out, I often ask what's brought you here.

@Browniesandcustard @Mountainormolehills keeping everything crossed! He has the ability to plan, made arrangements for tomorrow’s date, my friends were impressed with that! Convo flows so keeping everything crossed I have found a normal person!!! I’ll report back after dinner tomorrow!

I find the same as @Tillievanilly, also always I get asked how I'm finding the apps/ on line dating, which then v naturally leads to some kind of potted relationship history and what you are both looking for. But if they don't ask, I do. I am also really clear on my profile that I'm not looking for casual so if someone didn't have that listed I would definitely bring it up.

@Bestlife18 that is a brilliant update!

@Mountainormolehills that also sounds like things are heading in the right direction!

@2anddone super complicated re daughter and ex. But otherwise sounds fab! Which must be so difficult. I'd be finding it hard not to catch the feels as well in that scenario.

Presumably unless the daughter is completely invested in them getting back she would see reason at some point in terms of wanting her dad to live his life and be happy just as she is. Particularly as he wasn't the one who ended it.

Nothing happening for me. Mr A hasn't been back in touch. That's the end of that I think. I kind of knew it wasn't to be. I've deleted all my other chats.

Keeping half an eye on it just in case someone comes along who I'm drawn to but if not I'm going to have a break when the subscription ends in a week or so.

Thanks @Mckittens , he really is lovely, we both watch a show and he waited to watch this week’s episode with me last night 🥰 - he’s been less chatty today but I know he’s tired and equally we just spent hours together so I think it’s fine to have a bit of space

I had a few ask me “so how are you finding this so far?”. I just wanted to reply with “it’s terrible and I never thought I’d have sunk so low” but didn’t of course! No clue where they were going with it!

@Bestlife18 its a lazy question imo, surely there are other more interesting things to ask?

Crikey is that a lazy question? Since I've started asking it, if it's not asked first which usually it is, I've had some really funny responses which has made me inclined to continue with the chat more generally.

@Bestlife18 @Mckittens @Mountainormolehills I don’t think it’s lazy - I’ve asked, and been asked it,and it’s a really good way to get chatting about it all!

@Mckittens I find it lazy, as you can ask anyone it and I prefer to have more individual conversations with someone. But then again I think men generally are quite lazy, as evidenced by some of the behaviour that we talk about here, so I definitely think it’s a cop out question for a lot of men.

i didn’t really give it much thought at the time tbh other than struggling a bit with how to answer it.

@Mckittens it is complicated.
Mr ITW had his meeting with his ex wife today and I wasn't sure if I would hear from her this evening but he has just text me to check in...understandably he is feeling drained from his meeting!
I am hoping once the divorce is complete then the daughter will realise that they aren't getting back together and will hopefully realise it's better that he is happy!

I am officially done with OLD now I reckon.

Dropped some hints to Mr Chatty about being free tomorrow and asked him what he's up to. He's not taken the hint, obviously doesn't want to meet up. I know he wants to move slow and everything, but it just makes me feel like he cannot be bothered. And I cannot be bothered chatting to some one who doesn't want to meet.

Snuck back on the app tonight and it's as miserable as always. Urgh.

Oh that's disappointing! How long have you been talking to him? Would you ever consider just asking yourself? I know a lot prefer to wait for the guy to ask, espcially first time, but some guys just don't or are shy and I personally think there's nothing wrong with asking!

So I have asked Mr Beard what he's hoping to find OLD... but sadly I fell asleep on the sofa (wild Saturday night!!!) so sent the message really late so will have to see if he replies tomorrow! He was super chatty at the start of the week but it has slowed down now and no date on the horizon so not sure that's going anywhere sadly :(

I'm really annoyed by a message someone has just sent me. If someone has nothing to pick up from on their profile... and they don't start the convo... I normally ask them what's the worst opening message they've ever had, to break the ice. And some guy has just had a right snap back at me for being really "generic" and apparently that's the worst message he's ever had! What an arse! I just replied saying, "if this the worst opener you've ever had then I think you're doing pretty well on here!"....
Unmatch and see you later!!!