Dating Thread 247

[SamW98]

Continued from 246

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thanks ...based on past experience I'm quite sure I'll need it too!!

Thanks @Bestlife18 & @Browniesandcustard I do actually feel a bit wobbly about it all. Mr European has been a bit full on in his messages and I started feeling paranoid and worried he isn't genuine either. But I think it's just a coincidence, don't think he is a scammer maybe just a love bomber 🙄

I've had my eyes peeled for the pretty neighbour stalker each time I've left the house and so far no sign of a pasty overweight half dead looking pensioner with accompanying dead flounder. So thats good.

@blacksocks33 I started off on Bumble and then over to Match after a month and now on both although I'm going to definitely pause Bumble in a couple of weeks possibly Match as well. In my experience Match has been far busier but communications are more basic. Bumble is at a virtual standstill for me now after 3 months whereas I'm still getting new possibilities on Match. Same standard of profile though unfortunately. Have only come across three men so far who I recognise as being on both out of 100's of profiles.

@Bluestarling Really hope it goes better for you this time round, I agree this chat does feel like a dating support group, I love it, you lot all make me laugh, and let's face it, it's essential to keep a sense of humour given what we are facing on a daily basis!

What age men are on match - am I right to think it's bit more on the older side?

I've had my eyes peeled for the pretty neighbour stalker each time I've left the house and so far no sign of a pasty overweight half dead looking pensioner with accompanying dead flounder. So thats good. @Mckittens 😅

I've read it's marketed at the older age range, and I am of the demographic. I've got my age range set for 47-57 so hard to say how many younger ones there are but I do also get messaged by much younger men. So there must be some young ones out there too.

I have been ignoring them but by god it's tempting not to especially when they are persistent and the competition is wall to wall pensioner.

@User990 I'm tempted to do some research for you and set my age range as much younger but I'm worried it will depress me even further when I have to re-adjust it to age appropriate settings for me 😬

@Mckittens please volunteer 😁 and report back

I'm on Match and Bumble and have my age ranges set to 35 and 55. I'm 44. I'd say there's about the same amount of younger men as older men on both.

I've matched with a few of the younger blokes who liked me out of curiosity. Most seem to say its cos I'm experienced with a 😉 so I reckon they see me as desperate for a shag 😆

@User990 just for you & @blacksocks33 I have done some research and whilst I cannot comment on how valid it may be I can confirm that there are some fresh faced, young ones alive and kicking on match.

Now not many but then I couldn't change my own age obviously without creating an entirely new profile which did feel like a step too far. But there were several pages of 24-34 year olds who had presumably set a wide age range for their own search in order to be a possibility for me. If that makes sense. Not sure how helpful that is on the scheme of things. I'm pretty sure if I was 20'years younger there would have been many, many more.

I think you can just do a weeks subscription maybe, might be worth doing that just to have a look.

😆 @ChampagneNightmares
No need for me to have done any research after all.

Yeah I reckon there will be a similar No of younger ones to older ones.

Hopefully I won't now get a deluge of young ones messaging me, it may be difficult to resist given how much more alive they look 😆

@Mckittens tbh I’m at the point now where I don’t think I can give anyone a fair crack of the whip because I think they are all chancers, cheats, etc. it’s so hard!!!

Morning everyone! Another riveting day full of adventure, excitement and mystery ahead 😶

Sat here and getting ready and looking at dishes that need to be washed. How nice, oh how nice it would be to have a fit bloke to do it all for me 😅

Did anyone hear about the eclipse? Apparently some weird things might happen during this time. I'm asking because I want to put a hex on Dan Snow and manifest him in my life. 💫🤴

@Bestlife18 its so tricky isn’t it? I’m currently chatting to Mr V and he has given me no reason to doubt him. He’s been very upfront about things which has thrown me because many men aren’t. Yet when he’s said a couple of things, instead of seeing them as a positive, I’m analysing it and am convincing myself that he doesn’t mean them!

@cassiatwenty just wanting to say I've seen Dan Snow out and about and he's very sexy/manly, mainly because his arm was draped around his partner. He's extremely tall!

@Loopylooni You are so lucky! Of course Dan Snow is manly and tall and taken 😅

There's an interview with him (The Times) where he says "I don't feel like a beautiful person" -- can you believe it? So humble.

Guys I'm not normally into this sort of post, but this touched me today! I haven't been so good thsi weekend so maybe I'm just being a bit emotional 🙈 but thought I would share!
I feel like I've reached a low point with OLD this past week. I was obviously really struck by Mr shy and the abrupt ending and it was tough getting used to not having that person to text/make arrangements with. I connected with someone else last week who disappeared 😐 I'm still chatting with Mr last year but tbh I can't really be bothered anymore. I know it's not going anywhere. I guess I could ask him out but I don't really want to!
Someone matched with me in tinder last night and seems really chatty! Actually initiated a conversation about soemthing other then my day and how I am!!! Fingers crosssed this might be a good match... I feel like I need one to restore my faith 🙈

Heehee, yes, he's very striking looking, like he's a super fit rugby bloke, but arms draped round a relatively normal woman is always a turn on :)

I’m still plodding along but tbh my hearts not in it. There’s just no one who interests me.

Been chatting to a guy for a couple of days but there’s a couple of things that puts me off - 1 he cant drive and I’ve got no desire to be a taxi service (already do that for my 19 year old) and 2 hes got an 11 year old and my days of revolving life around kids is over now mines an adult

Plus he’s just a bit cringe - he means well but every message is ‘stay blessed’ ‘start each day with a smile’ etc it’s all a bit twee for me

I think I’ve become a jaded old crone who will just end up sitting on a park bench shouting ‘what a load of bollox’ to passers by 🤣

That's a good quote. Being with my cold (so so cold) Stoic ex made me realise that I don't actually enjoy chasing someone all the time. I prefer genuinely friendly men who aren't afraid expressing their emotions (within reason, not too keen on love bombing) and never again making a man being the centre of my world.

Always always pay attention to girl friends too. Never would have learned that if I didn't have that experience @blacksocks33

@SamW98 Send him "dance like nobody's watching" quote 😉

@cassiatwenty
i love that! I have a chat with a slow replier and he may be hotter than the sun and out of my league. But I’m worried with a guy so good looking he knows it! I was just thinking how genuine people are what makes it happen in the dating world!

Yep same! I am so bad for just thinking the worst but I guess it’s self preservation!!

I am exactly the same - what’s your attachment style? I have had over 12 months of therapy and it’s definitely helped but my ex would store up things to use them against me so I do panic and I was completely triggered the other night - I sat and felt the feelings, and tried to understand why I felt so triggered by the conversation. I was also vulnerable and told Mr TV about how I was feeling, which was a positive experience.

@Mountainormolehills i think attachment style is interesting - mine i thought was anxious or avoidant but every test i do is secure, maybe because i talk things through a lot. My current partner id say is avoidant

@Loopylooni I am fearful avoidant which is the same as Mr TV - it was him asking me this that triggered me as my ex would use that info to reel me in, whereas I need to trust that he’s not going to do that (whilst obviously being mindful of red flags). Mine comes from childhood trauma as well as my long abusive marriage, so trusting people is hard but I have been ‘practicing’ if you like, on my friends.