Blocked after an intimate video call and now I'm panicking

[Worriedashell84]

So I got talking to a foreign guy on a dating site 2 weeks ago, a mixture of video calls and phone calls. There was never anything sexual the whole 2 weeks and in fact we were talking about lots of different things, like music , the meaning of life etc. He never once tried to get me to take my top off or anything the whole time. We were chatting most days as well.
However in the last video call, a couple of nights ago, things turned sexual. The app we used is end to end encrypted however in hindsight I'm now panicking that he video recorded it or has screenshotted stuff, especially now that he has blocked me.
I never took my bra or pants off , but I did show him my breasts a bit with my bra on ( I tried not to show my face in that but I can't be sure) and I did show my hand touching underneath my underwear a bit but obviously my face isn't in it.

At most there might be a picture of me with my bra on but showing my breasts and I also didn't show them both at the one time, if he has screenshotted that part.
I should say he was very aroused during the call and actually came during it. He also showed himself down there fully erect and coming. (Sorry if tmi, just trying to get all context in)
If it's a case where he realizes he just didn't fancy me and has blocked me, then fine, I can deal with that.
But if he has screenshotted stuff or recorded anything then yes I would be a bit worried.
So my question is am I jumping to conclusions and panicking needlessly? Would you be worried about this?

I only realized I was blocked today which was 2 days after the call. I can't believe how stupid I've been, I actually liked the guy.
I think the fact that he never tried to make things sexual for the whole 2 weeks made me trust him and actually it was sort of me who initiated it in the last call as I really fancied him. He also works in IT which makes me worry more as he is IT savvy.
I am never ever doing an intimate video call with anyone ever again.

So should I just forget about this awful judgement call and vow to never do anything like this again or should I actually be worried?
I think the fact that he has blocked me has made me think he has done or is doing something sinister.
Sorry for the ramble,, I'm just actually panicking this morning

I despair. You are being incredibly naive op.

You also sound very immature. Obsessed with his looks. 2 weeks and being very fond of this stranger....

@Erdinger he is 28 and op is 40

I have spend some time in Morocco and I felt very weird there... there was a hardness from the men who seemed to find western women distasteful and I felt very disrespected as a woman constantly. In a market wearing an ankle length skirt and long sleeved top some young boys where trying to lift up my skirt with a stick and the men were laughing. They would ignore me to talk to my boyfriend like I was nothing. When I politely declined to visit a store I was called some horrible slut shaming type names for not wanting to buy anything. We did meet one kind man and we are still in touch periodically so its not all Moroccan men, but I would think most the men there have a low opinion of a British woman and it won't be a respectful one. Generally they seem to think we are easy and rich and gullible.

Well, he told you he lives in Morocco. That may or may not be true

I doubt he's recorded this or will blackmail you. At some point you may receive an email saying you've been caught on film. Remember, it will be a coincidence / scam

@Rubyrubyrubyruby123 well you're a rude cow, I'd rather be silly than rude

By keeping contact him you are disregarding whet everyone is saying.

The longer you keep in contact, the more the grooming continues and the deeper you get pulled in.

And in the best case (unlikely) scenario that he isn’t a scammer then I guarantee he doesn’t feel the same way as you and he’s using you as cheap easy wank fodder while his wife is asleep.

I deal with financial crime all day every day OP and I’ve heard your words a million times from naive women who despite there being more red flags than a Communist party parade still ignored the signs and ended up skint.

@Rubyrubyrubyruby123 you're the troll, personally attacking people. I'm not ignoring advice, I've stated that I'm not and I am now very wary.

For heavens' sake OP @Rubyrubyrubyruby123 was rude but you would actually do a lot better to be a rude cow than a silly cow in this instance! Think of your son! All very sensible points being made here and yet you persist in thinking that a man from quite a misogynistic culture is really interested in an older woman with a child who lives abroad!!? If you were a man everyone would be calling you a 'silly old goat'! For heaven's sake just block and move on. Also - and this is hardly the most pressing issue here - it is a bit fetishistic to be so preoccupied with a man's looks based on his ethnicity...

My mil took out an 80k loan for a man she met abroad...
Scammed with a capital S...
She is a well educated sensible woman.. But obviously isn't...

I very much appreciate everyone's input , I don't take it for granted, as I said before Mumsnet is always my go to place for any problems I'm having or advice. And I like how people tell it how it is on here, so I promise to be very careful

The thing is, he probably won't ask you for money yet. You're only nibbling at the hook so far, still wary. But you've shown him that you're a good prospect so he'll keep casting. And when the time is right he'll have you hook, line and sinker.

Please stop all contact now. That way heartache lies.

@Daffodilsarentfluffy I'm sorry that happened to your mil.
If this guy was to ask me for money even in a month or 2 months time or whatever, there's no way I would give it to him. I'm not naive when it comes to money.

Ok, you’re not going to send money- that’s good. But the thing with relationships is they seldom go backwards with intimacy. (Maybe that’s just me.) So I think he will expect more of the same and as you instigated it you’ll probably feel that way again. And it’s likely to get more explicit. Whenever you do anything sexual that can be recorded you always run the risk of it being saved, uploaded, used for black mail etc especially if you fall out at some point.

As you are anxious by nature l think continuing this relationship is a risk you don’t need to take. There are plenty of North African men who’ve moved to UK (or wherever you are) who you can hook up with without the need for cameras.

Def be careful in future, Op. Sure it’s been discussed but fraudsters are definitely targeting these sites as pictures and certainly films of this nature are a sure way to get cash from the victim.

I obviously haven’t read the full thread.

So, next time he wants wank fodder, are you going to oblige, OP?

Honestly if I had a £1 for every time I’ve heard those words at work from another in a long line of romance fraud victims, I’d be as rich as the scammers.

Their grooming is subtle and gradual. I’ve heard 100’s of women say they’re not daft and they would never give a penny only for those words to bite them on the arse months down the line.

Thing is OP I can tell you til I’m blue in the face that this is textbook but you don’t want to hear it so I’m out. I just hope you don’t come back further down the line proving us all right

Most of the population have boobs, they are hardly shameless.

With the abundance of free hardcore porn online I doubt anyone is getting the rocks off to a screenshot of a bra.

i would assume he blocked you then unblocked you. Personally I would never send anything to anyone I hadn’t met. Even then only careful photos nothing exposing. He lives in another country so what do you think is going to happen between you. Learn from this. Consider what you want from a man you meet online.

I don't know, you're very reluctant to cut him off. You really enjoy time with him and I presume you feel good about yourself when you're talking to him. Imagine in a couple of months if he were to ask for money, then act cold or disappear for a couple of days when you say no. I think you might then rationalise to yourself that it's worth, maybe not £500, but some smaller amount of money to get him being nice to you again.

It's amazing how, in online dating/ setting that a family member of the man gets ill or dies as soon as he has sexual contact with someone. Quite scary. Jessica fletcher needs to investigate this

For fucks sake OP what on earth are you playing at? If you were my sister I'd be cancelling your WiFi altogether. Stop it.

OP, you've had really good advice, which you seem weirdly determined to ignore

I'm out

Having used old and been approached by what they said was a younger man from North Africa I would always ask for this...a photo of them holding up a piece of paper with today's date on it. They very quickly disappeared or blocked me 😂