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Original poster

My husband shaved

179 replies

thirtythirty · 23/03/2024 09:43

My DH went on a work trip to somewhere quite hot. It got to around 25C so not unmanageable. I noticed on his return he had shaved down under. This is very unusual for him. When I asked him about it he said he did it because he was so hot and he gets sweaty. It didn't really sit well with me but I've never mentioned it again. He doesn't shave normally here in the summer. Am I thinking too much into this? Also when chatting about this trip on one occasion he became very flushed, red faced and very hot which has never happened before. I felt alarmed by this but have said nothing.

OP posts:
Scrollbreadroll · 23/03/2024 14:28

@thirtythirty definitely dodgy. He’s clearly done that for someone else’s benefit. It’s out the blue, done whilst he was away from you, and it’s something he’s never done before. 🚩 He’s either done something with someone else or was at least hoping he had a chance to and had prepared himself for it.

TesticularHeft · 23/03/2024 14:38

Did he shave it all off or some?

I remember DO going on a trip with his friends and I heard him shaving, assuming it was his face but saw through a gap in the door it was not. He only tidied up but I spent a few days feeling sick while he was away. I then talked about it on his return. He had tidied up as he was sharing a room with his mates and knew at some pont they would see. Sounds like bullshit I know but I know him. He is honest to a fault and disgusted by cheating.

My point is... could he have gone swimming/sauna and thought oh shit or do you know him as a person and know he wouldn't cheat?

Never trust anyone fully but he hates does your guy say?

Cas112 · 23/03/2024 14:39

Can't lie, I'd feel same as you OP

theworldie · 23/03/2024 14:40

You need to do some digging. Can u get in his phone/computer whilst he’s asleep.

I agree with pinkbonbon it’s highly unlikely a company would send Alan and woman away on a work trip together.

theworldie · 23/03/2024 14:40

*A man, not Alan!

alwaysmovingforwards · 23/03/2024 14:42

Be suspicious if you want, you could be right.

But imagine the uproar on here if a woman shaved her parts and the husband started accusations. Even trying to look at his phone as suggested, again the uproar would be deafening around the right to privacy and autonomy of your body etc.

The double standard is clearly alive and well though 👍

bloom19 · 23/03/2024 14:45

Pinkbonbon · 23/03/2024 14:19

Oh...no, yeah honey this wasn't a work trip it was a dirty weekend away.

No way would I have been OK with a partner going on a work trip with just one woman. It's not appropriate. I don't know what company would have okayed this either. It sets them up for all manner of issues.

Show quote history

In a lot of companies, a man and a woman travel together for business. It doesn't need any extra okaying. I don't know of this special trip, but that itself isn't suspicious.

Pinkbonbon · 23/03/2024 14:45

alwaysmovingforwards · 23/03/2024 14:42

Be suspicious if you want, you could be right.

But imagine the uproar on here if a woman shaved her parts and the husband started accusations. Even trying to look at his phone as suggested, again the uproar would be deafening around the right to privacy and autonomy of your body etc.

The double standard is clearly alive and well though 👍

Not necessarily.

If she never shaved and then suddenly did, went on a work trip with just one other man, came back and I was getting a weird vibe...

I don't think there's double standards on this particular one. I'd still be telling a guy he should probably do some digging.

LlynTegid · 23/03/2024 14:49

Women shaving down there can be to ensure no hair can be seen when wearing a bikini, and given how small some are (and the cut of some one piece swimwear), don't blame any woman who does.

sugarrosepetal · 23/03/2024 14:58

shivermetimbers77 · 23/03/2024 12:04

Suggest she comes over for dinner and see how he reacts. His reaction will be telling.

Definitely do this

Shan5474 · 23/03/2024 15:07

I’ve known several men who only shave in the summer (armpits and body hair) because it feels uncomfortable with sweat. I shave more everywhere in the summer because hair + sweat makes me smell. So I wouldn’t think anything of it unless I’d been having relationship problems, our sex life wasn’t good, or there were other reasons for me to think he might cheat. What bit of the holiday was he talking about when he went red?

NoCloudsAllowed · 23/03/2024 15:08

People are missing the point. It's my not about pros and cons of shaving, it's that he acts guilty when it's mentioned.

SantaBarbaraMonica · 23/03/2024 15:11

thirtythirty · 23/03/2024 10:24

Is shaving something people do when they plan on cheating?

Yes I’m sorry. It’s 100% a sexual thing, especially with a man. And ESPECIALLY when he doesn’t regularly do it.

Teeny possibility she wasn’t up for it but he certainly was and planned accordingly.

WildBear · 23/03/2024 15:12

I'm male and have travelled to very hot countries... Can't say I ever thought, my god, my pubic area (in particular) is fucking boiling, I must go and shave it all off for some much needed relief.

Maybe he was just experimenting if he's not shaved down there before. It wouldn't be my thing tbh, I would feel like I looked like a pre pubescent boy.

Original poster
thirtythirty · 23/03/2024 15:24

The shaving was around 5 months ago. Nothing else since then has caused me concern. I can't look at his phone or computer and I think he wouldn't leave stuff like that easy to find. His job means the world to him, surely getting up to something with a colleague would put that at risk. Maybe his first visit opened up a possibility I'm not aware of. I don't know. He had new everything to take with him, pants, t shirts, shorts, shoes etc

He did cheat many many years ago 2 years into our relationship, it absolutely broke me. I knew nothing about it then until he confessed. It's probably one of the most traumatic experiences in my life. We probably should have split properly then. Almost 30 years later I still feel that hurt. I think I've always expected it to happen again. Maybe it finally has.

OP posts:
Cassidyscircus · 23/03/2024 15:27

This wasn’t a work trip, there wasn’t any work?
the company surely would cancel the flights and recoup the cost rather than sending two employees out on expenses?
he’s been on holiday with another woman OP.
if you need proof I would ask to see the work emails confirming the work was cancelled and to just enjoy a nice holibobs with Susan from accounts

Patrickiscrazy · 23/03/2024 15:32

theworldie · 23/03/2024 14:40

*A man, not Alan!

😂 I was actually thinking about a particular Alan!

goody2shooz · 23/03/2024 15:39

@thirtythirty im sorry but ‘new everything’ for a work trip?? Don’t buy it.

MissHarrietBede · 23/03/2024 15:41

So you only found out about his previous cheating decades ago because he confessed. He could have cheated many, many times since, without your knowledge but this time slipped up with the shaving.

PortiaWithNoBreaks · 23/03/2024 15:42

So your DH went on a work trip somewhere hot, arrived, the work got cancelled? And he and female colleague stayed overseas and acted like tourists? They got the original return flight rather than changing their flights?

This all sounds implausible as ime most employers would have their staff on the next flight back, not let them have a jolly on company time.

What country was it?

PonyPatter44 · 23/03/2024 15:43

It does sound weird - why would the company still send them on the trip if the work wasn't there? They'd surely just cancel it. I used to travel an awful lot for work (real road warrior stuff) and I certainly didn't buy new knickers and work clothes for every trip.

Something is fishy here, OP, sorry.

CatLevelCare · 23/03/2024 15:45

Oh, OP, you need to trust your instincts here.
Take it as true that he has cheated (doubt he will admit it without proof) and decide what you want to do.
Are you staying or splitting up with him?
You can have time to think on it and prepare.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 23/03/2024 15:50

This wasn’t a work trip, there wasn’t any work?
the company surely would cancel the flights and recoup the cost rather than sending two employees out on expenses?

Depends. A few years ago I went on a two day training course with some colleagues. A day in it was obvious the training wasn't what we wanted so we were cut loose for a day. If flights had to be rebooked it might be cheaper for them to stay out there for a couple of days.

Original poster
thirtythirty · 23/03/2024 16:00

Cassidyscircus · 23/03/2024 15:27

This wasn’t a work trip, there wasn’t any work?
the company surely would cancel the flights and recoup the cost rather than sending two employees out on expenses?
he’s been on holiday with another woman OP.
if you need proof I would ask to see the work emails confirming the work was cancelled and to just enjoy a nice holibobs with Susan from accounts

It 100% was a work trip, he was en route when it all got cancelled so had no choice but to continue to the destination plus I've seen the paperwork, plus it was a lot of money and he wouldn't spend thousands

OP posts:
Original poster
thirtythirty · 23/03/2024 16:01

MissHarrietBede · 23/03/2024 15:41

So you only found out about his previous cheating decades ago because he confessed. He could have cheated many, many times since, without your knowledge but this time slipped up with the shaving.

Yes I've always lived with that knowledge

OP posts: