Why are people having less sex?

[Hartley99]

I read a shocking statistic in the paper today. In 2009, 30% of men aged 18-24, and 50% of women, were having "no sex". In 2018, the same survey found that 43% of men aged 18-24 were having no sex, and 74% of women! The number of teenage pregnancies has plummeted as well. Also, and I wonder if this is connected in some way, the number of young people who don't drink alcohol has massively increased. Young people also seem less interested in relationships, or having children. In fact, people in general seem less and less keen to date, form relationships or families, etc. I'm pretty sure the birth rate is falling as well.

I've always found these sorts of social trends/changes fascinating. I kind of regret not studying sociology, actually. It's so interesting. What drives these changes? I was a teenager in the '90s, and there is no doubt that young people today are far less interested in sex and relationships than we were. They seem far more cynical, wary and suspicious. Rather than the end goal of life, they seem to view marriage and kids as a trap – something they might have to endure one day, but which they'd rather delay or avoid altogether. Or is it just me?

And unfortunately, it’s becoming a thing here too.

Same in France, Germany etc…

Its sad but it is a thing :(

I also feel like it gets discussed so....clinically....now

Is it also associated from moving from ‘making live’ to just ‘having sex’?

Just musing in whether making sex just a necessary thing like eating or any other bodily function hasnt also made it ‘not as attractive’.

"Absolutely not. It was slutty to have condoms on you in the late 90s/00s where I lived or that it was because you had an std already. To get the pill was a daunting experience of going to the gp with your parents if under 18 or to a sexual health clinic and to be the talk of the town.

Abstinence was what was pushed at school with no real education around conception and contraception unless it was condoms."

Where the hell did you live?

In the 90s where I lived everyone pushed condoms and I come from semi-rural north Wales. I remember saying on here that living "in sin" only started to become acceptable in the 90s and a person from Manchester saying it was the norm for her since much earlier, so I'd always presumed my area was behind!

Yes, it was difficult to go to the GP if under 18 because youngsters that age tend to be embarrassed, but it was always allowed with confidentiality I think guaranteed over 16 and potentially possible at 14 or 15.

Proof of that?
I mean in real life, not on Christian Fundamentalist Twitter.

Even on Friends in the 90s a male character was ridiculed by a female character for referring to 'making love'. It was always seen as euphemistic women's language.

I think it's indicative of society. People are unhappy. Life is pretty crap for lots of us. Lots of younger people have little to look forward to - students debts, no affordable housing, so expensive to travel/cinema/festivals etc.
WHEN you are unhappy then you lose confidence and relationships and sex flounders

Not sure. Compare to earlier times. 2024 is hardly the hardest year ever for humanity.

In fact, I'd say the opposite. People are relatively happy because they're partly sedated by their smartphone and internet addiction so no need to go looking for the hormone high.

I think younger generations do most of their socialising online now. They don’t see each other in person as much. And when they do, smartphones are a part of it. The other day I saw three teen guys sitting together, each hunched over their phones, in total silence. That’s normal for them. Maybe they talk to girls via social media? I don’t know…

I was a teenager in the 90s, and we went to the pub a lot, parties, hung out at each others houses (parents houses). So, that meant being physically near to the bloke(s) you fancied. And meeting random fellas on a night out, in your college / office days. I think now most young people don’t mix outside their circle as much. They just don’t get around!

Has she been watching American teenager rom coms?

I do definitely think porn plays into it. I am in my 50s so not in the demographic we're talking about. But I am also single and for a good while I was Internet dating. Which seems to be virtually the only way to meet someone now. I stopped and one of the main reasons was the sexual expectations of men. I dont want anal, or to be choked or any of the other things that are so prevalent now. And I was dating men also in their 50's. If it's that bad at our age, I dread to think what it's like for young women. 😒

Because of that, and alongside that, is the fact that these men do not care in the slightest about the woman's pleasure. Why would I have sex at all? To be an unpaid prostitute? Because that's what it amounts to. Doing stuff I don't want to do, to get no pleasure in return. What's in it for me?

Fair play to young women if they've decided they want no part of it. It is sad. When I was young a guy would just be happy and excited that he'd got a woman into bed in the first place! And his enthusiasm was contagious. Sex was fun. For both parties. Now its performance based. If it isn't worthy of being posted on pornhub then it's "boring" and "vanilla". I'm just glad i grew up when I did or I may have never had sex at all!

I disagree @Gwenhwyfar - working with young people I see a lot of hopelessness. It's a lack of ambition and a feeling that it's futile as everything is too expensive. That there is an elitism in society. The addiction to mobile phones is also part of the problem but is just pure escapism - doom scrolling lives away!

Statistics and how they are gathered makes give assumptions like this unstable data.

Are you seriously saying it's worse now than in previous times? That we haven't had poverty or recessions before? I'm not asking you what young people are like now, I'm asking you to compare with harder times.

More younger people living at home, working harder, going out less, possibly more focused work/study wise, more tired and yes they possibly look at romantic attachments as less of an aspiration?

I think young people today have it a lot harder, yes. For all the reasons I have listed. It's different. When I was growing up in the 80s in Thatcher's Britain there was still room for aspiration. I genuinely think that young people today have inherited a mess of a world and can't see a way out (obviously not all but a big majority and I say that as a parent of a 20 year old, the aunt of a 23, 22, 21 and 19 year old and a teacher).

The Body Count thing got mentioned on here yesterday.

It is definitely in common parlance in England. I find it revolting. I’m guessing a lot of people don’t want to get involved with anyone who thinks like that.

We can barely afford to go out for a pint in the pub. So I doubt teens can. It feels like we had more expendable income back in the day, when we had nothing. I'm probably as Internet addicted as others. And have had fun times with another via 'AOL messenger'. LOL. That's just to indicate that flirting probably occurs over SMS, Instant messenger or whatever. And I remember having loving consensual sex, and have no expectations through seeing web porn. Pre internet, there was a friend that used to boast that he wanked three or four times a day in my bathroom when he came to visit. Purely with his imagination. So wankers then and wankers now. Personally I gravitate to real life friendships and what not. I don't use a mobile phone for the Internet but for checking the train times. Intimacy is suffocated by television at home. Which is probably far more anti-social than having a head stuck in a phone. Perhaps people have merely worked out that to satiate sexual pleasure a wank will do. Who knows, but I'm erring on the theory that people are penny less, stressed and miserable. And that certainly can kill the libido.

Screens. Not so long ago, at 9pm on an evening there was nothing else to do but chat and have sex with your significant other. Now we are constantly and overwhelmingly entertained

I imagine lots more 18-24yr olds living at home with mum & dad might have something to do with it.

Previous generations were pretty hedonistic in our youth. The world is a far harsher place for todays young people I think. Perhaps as a result they seem to be far more aware of the world, their futures and frankly a lot more sensible.

I agree. This is what I see too.

I dont really have a high sex drive (mid 30s) and been hurt a lot.

As the mother of late teen sons I think a big factor is that they have grown up in the world of social media and it’s made them really anxious.
I think they feel pressure to know everything about sex( when they don’t at all) and fear that details will get round on SM. In our day we could have good/ bad/ funny sexual experiences and sure, we might tell our friends, but the was no danger of images being posted, or the funny stories going viral.
Yes young men can give it all the bravado, but they are quite insecure actually ime.

I'm up for that.

Also they don’t seem to really hang out in mixed groups as much. Boys and girls see each other as different tribes, whereas for me I had lots of male friends. I was kind of punk though whereas my kids are more conventional.