Why are people having less sex?

[Hartley99]

I read a shocking statistic in the paper today. In 2009, 30% of men aged 18-24, and 50% of women, were having "no sex". In 2018, the same survey found that 43% of men aged 18-24 were having no sex, and 74% of women! The number of teenage pregnancies has plummeted as well. Also, and I wonder if this is connected in some way, the number of young people who don't drink alcohol has massively increased. Young people also seem less interested in relationships, or having children. In fact, people in general seem less and less keen to date, form relationships or families, etc. I'm pretty sure the birth rate is falling as well.

I've always found these sorts of social trends/changes fascinating. I kind of regret not studying sociology, actually. It's so interesting. What drives these changes? I was a teenager in the '90s, and there is no doubt that young people today are far less interested in sex and relationships than we were. They seem far more cynical, wary and suspicious. Rather than the end goal of life, they seem to view marriage and kids as a trap – something they might have to endure one day, but which they'd rather delay or avoid altogether. Or is it just me?

Back in the day it was pub/club/ 10-2/ Barry White/slow dance/ snog / scribbled number if you could find a pen/club shuts/ take someone home if could, if not meet them a couple of days later/maybe relationship.

Just doesn’t happen the same anymore now.

I just don’t think kids are as interested now. My daughter is 15 and more interested in dance routines/pouting on Tik tok. When I was her age I was at parties drinking a mad dog 20/20 trying to cop off!

Were men better in the 1990s? Or women not picky at all back then?

I think it's the illusion of choice with Tinder etc people always think they are a better catch than they actually are. And the top 10% of men women think they deserve won't settle down or just aren't interested.

Out of that 10% less than 1% are interested then out of that 1% how many want to actually settle down instead of dating multiple women and that's if your even compatible in the 1st place and get along better than the other women he's dating.

There was a lad/ladette culture in the 90s. Men and women tended to party hard (the 18-30 holiday clubs were notorious and popular) and casual sex was popular and tended to stem from the nightlife of pubs and clubs. Same into the 2000s.

Social media/smart phones/dating apps were a big cultural reset. Before Facebook in the mid 2000s the internet was quite niche. For men suddenly they have the access to unlimited free porn (if you wanted to watch porn in the 90s you'd have to go to a dingy sex shop) and with dating apps women have access to unlimited men who will have sex with them. Sex has lost a lot of value.

I think the biggest cause is that people are meeting face-to-face far less than before. More and more people are having 'social relationships' on-line with people hours away. If you are doing that then a) you don't need social relationships locally and b) you don't have the time to interact with people locally.

If you are not going out and about, you are not meeting people, if you are not meeting people you are having relationships (physical) with them.

With DH and his friends you'd be treated to a discussion on bogey configuration on GSW trains or the development of fighter aircraft or something similar.

Before we were married I called around at thdn BFs flat on a Saturday night expecting to find them watching blue movies (as my brother said they did) only to find them eating fish and chips with tea/coffee while watching 1950s Black and white sci-fi. DB had apparently just been being a jerk and there were no blue movies just old sci-fi and horror. I started joining them, OH was glad I'd decided to do so.

I think it’s more to do with men being more likely to be telling fibs about how sexually active they’ve been!

Figures were similar years ago where men had on average more sexual partners than women ( and were having it more often) if the stats were true then there was a subset of women having sex with hundreds of men , and many more not having sex at all 🤨

Age can affect fibbing too. It was reported that more women were virgins leaving Univeristy than starting it.

Haha - is that true?! Brilliant

I recall reading it in a newspaper report many years ago, but it was reported as such. I was wondering if attitudes to saying you have not had sex have also changed.

"if the stats were true then there was a subset of women having sex with hundreds of men"

Yes, prostitutes.

Not necessarily. There are lots of young women it seems like to have a good time before settling and it's easier for them to get partners than the young men. There was a young lady in one of our daughters classes at uni who was engaged back home but had a different partner each week. It was apparently quite common, and uni was the place to try out as many sexual partners as you wanted before they started their life proper.

Well yes, I could have 'slut shamed' and said whores, which would include both free and paid-for, but yes, definitely if a young woman wants a lot of casual sex there should be no shortage of takers. If it's really hundreds though and not professional, I wonder if some of that is women with mental illnesses being taken advantage of.
I can at least accept that the numbers don't have to be equal for both sexes.

There will be lots of men exaggerating how many and women exaggerating how few I suspect.