Why are people having less sex?

[Hartley99]

I read a shocking statistic in the paper today. In 2009, 30% of men aged 18-24, and 50% of women, were having "no sex". In 2018, the same survey found that 43% of men aged 18-24 were having no sex, and 74% of women! The number of teenage pregnancies has plummeted as well. Also, and I wonder if this is connected in some way, the number of young people who don't drink alcohol has massively increased. Young people also seem less interested in relationships, or having children. In fact, people in general seem less and less keen to date, form relationships or families, etc. I'm pretty sure the birth rate is falling as well.

I've always found these sorts of social trends/changes fascinating. I kind of regret not studying sociology, actually. It's so interesting. What drives these changes? I was a teenager in the '90s, and there is no doubt that young people today are far less interested in sex and relationships than we were. They seem far more cynical, wary and suspicious. Rather than the end goal of life, they seem to view marriage and kids as a trap – something they might have to endure one day, but which they'd rather delay or avoid altogether. Or is it just me?

Antidepressants

Dating is expensive and according to DDs male friends from uni despite feminism most women they dated expected everything to be paid for plus the women weren't very nice (not as in pretty but more a case of unfriendly).

I suspect a lot have simply decided there are other ways to spend your time. The group (male and female) hang out together, go on holiday together and generally get on with their lives.

Somebody mentioned anti-depressants, which is an interesting point. They lower libido, of course (but then so does depression!).

There has definitely been a general retreat from the real world. People are creating little heavens at home. I suspect the young drink less alcohol because they can now order drugs online and have them delivered to their door. I read somewhere that many drug dealers are more reliable and efficient than Amazon! If you have drugs, porn and video games, it's tempting to never leave your room. Next thing will be virtual reality. When that is perfected (right now it's pretty crude and primitive), god knows what will happen. Imagine a Matrix-level VR in which it feels like you're really having sex with pornstars, or really in the video game.

Two toddlers and a prolapse lol

Ds (20yo) talked about it. He feels like dating is a dangerous thing to do because you can easily be accused of pestering/harassing.

When I was that age, you were flirting with others - starting with exchanging looks with the person, moving onto talking to them etc….

It seems that this has been not just lost but that they are consciously avoiding it in case it’s misinterpretated.

Yes I think because so much is online now younger people see chatting someone up as creepy and weird. When I was younger, we'd actively go out "on the pull"!

@VillageOnSmile I think this is a real factor especially at work.

Yes, but I think OP is talking about the UK where sexual equality is better than Korea.
Also, it's not just about the birth rate.

Do you have any idea what you’re talking about? I suspect not.

I'm quite old and simply overworked trying to be a decent mum and pull my weight in the economy working full time, I'm too tired for shagging.

I imagine the younger generation are burnt out from too much sexual material rammed down their throat all day long. It creates boys that are wanked out with no knowledge of what girls might like, and girls unable to live up to looking like the enhanced online version 100% of the time.

The issue with online contact is also that they’ve never learnt how to handle conversations.

Its the whole ‘texting to break up is fine because otherwise it’s becoming a drama' to struggling to pick up the phone to ask for help from a colleague because 'emails/texts give me time to think about my answer' .

And yes they do. A lot if things are easier over texts.

But it doesn't help when you are trying to find a partner!

I think you're right that it was mainly low aspirations.

However, I know someone who went to the council at age 17 asking how he could leave home and was asked 'do you have a girlfriend? If so, get her pregnant'. He didn't do this and went into higher education instead, but I definitely believe him that he was told it.

"Knowing that you can say no and what consent actually means. Birth control is no longer taboo or frowned on but encouraged."

Birth control and condoms were very heavily encouraged in the 90s. Are you comparing with the 60s?

That’s a movement you find everywhere.
South Korea is an extreme example but everywhere there is a bigger and bigger gap between women who are continuing on the ‘liberation movement’, wanting and getting career, expecting equality in relationship etc…
and men who are going backwards wanting and expecting women to live like in the 1920. Lots if talk about body counts fir example 😳😳

Many more of them are at uni than previously though so they'd have their own place in term time.

I think at lot of it is the younger generation are actually scared to interact with one another IRL, the girls all think the guys are creeps and weirdos and the guys are worried they'll get accused of something so they just don't bother.

It's great that we're becoming more aware that men can be, and some certainly are, a danger to women but it has created a divide and a lack of trust in anyone for some of our younger folk

The body count thing is an American thing on social media isn't it? Not a real thing in the UK afaik.

Absolutely not. It was slutty to have condoms on you in the late 90s/00s where I lived or that it was because you had an std already. To get the pill was a daunting experience of going to the gp with your parents if under 18 or to a sexual health clinic and to be the talk of the town.

Abstinence was what was pushed at school with no real education around conception and contraception unless it was condoms.

The pressure from boys (they don't be deserved to be called me) to go bare back was intense if you were in a relationship.

Everyone's just tired.

Where did you live? I totally don’t recognise this. You could get the pill at 16 without your parents knowledge in the early 90’s for a start. I grew up in a small town in the SE so not some huge liberal metropolis. Most people in my sixth form were sexually active to a degree and it was totally the norm.

Most men are playing video games, and most women are overweight / obese.

Its dead any way you look at it.

There have been sex surveys since the Kinsey Reports in the 1940s and '50s. They're not a recent invention.

I think the housing crisis is probably the main culprit for this. I had plenty of sex before I was forced out of London four years ago due to prices. But living in bumfuck nowhere means being surrounded by either young couples or much older people (I'm early 30s), and when you can only afford to visit a city once a month, you quickly stop being invited to parties and so don't have a much of chance of meeting anyone there either.

I suspect it’s because so many of those aged 18-24 live with their parents.