Why are people having less sex?

[Hartley99]

I read a shocking statistic in the paper today. In 2009, 30% of men aged 18-24, and 50% of women, were having "no sex". In 2018, the same survey found that 43% of men aged 18-24 were having no sex, and 74% of women! The number of teenage pregnancies has plummeted as well. Also, and I wonder if this is connected in some way, the number of young people who don't drink alcohol has massively increased. Young people also seem less interested in relationships, or having children. In fact, people in general seem less and less keen to date, form relationships or families, etc. I'm pretty sure the birth rate is falling as well.

I've always found these sorts of social trends/changes fascinating. I kind of regret not studying sociology, actually. It's so interesting. What drives these changes? I was a teenager in the '90s, and there is no doubt that young people today are far less interested in sex and relationships than we were. They seem far more cynical, wary and suspicious. Rather than the end goal of life, they seem to view marriage and kids as a trap – something they might have to endure one day, but which they'd rather delay or avoid altogether. Or is it just me?

When I was a child we lived next door to a secondary school. The older teens in that school would walk along the road arm in arm...I remember it well as i thought they looked so cool and grown up. I have never seen teenage boys and girls walking to school arm in arm nowadays. Never. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing...just noticing it as a societal change.

In terms of teen pregnancies...having a baby was a guarenteed council flat/house for life decades ago. It's was often a conscious choice.

@thirdistheonewiththehairychest that sounds like something she's picked up from American TV shows? They're always talking about the age when girls are allowed to date, and there's a much stronger focus (at least in the media) on fathers having openly patriarchal control over their daughters' sexuality. I agree it lands quite weirdly over here.

I'd imagine parents WFH doesn't help - i had sex when my parents were at work - then housibg costs - once i left home at 18 i was gone, whereas young people often carry on living with parents. Plus if they go out they have less access to any private space outside.

When I was growing up the mainstream media, conservative right and "family values" obsessed parents were constantly in despair about how much sex unmarried teens and 20-somethings were having, the rise in teenage pregnancies, extra-marital births and the drink-and-drugs culture that fuelled it all.

Now young people are having less sex, drinking less and having fewer children. And everyone's wringing their hands about what a terrible problem it is and what might be causing it (PORN! PORN! PORN!)

Funny old lot, humans.

In terms of teen pregnancies...having a baby was a guarenteed council flat/house for life decades ago. It's was often a conscious choice

Sorry I have to disagree with this. I was a young mum and therefore met many other young mums. Not one of us had a child to get a council flat fgs!

It was a combination of factors. Often growing up in a broken/neglectful home and wanting that sense of "family". Being out in the world too young and falling prey to men who were less than ideal fathers. Low aspirations in our upbringing that didn't show us any alternatives. As I said in my earlier post, the wider world is more accessible now to everyone. That wasn't the case when I was young. My world was small and I needed to get away from home so I settled into the first relationship I had which ended up abusive. Even there, there's way more understanding now of abusive behaviours etc. Which is a good thing. But please don't spin that line of a baby for a council flat, it's utter rubbish.

Yes it might not be an absolute conscious choice but that fact that a lot of girls knew there was safety net and they'd get their own place was an incentive for many. Combined with the fact that a single mum could stay on income support until their child was 12 rather than actively looking for work was also an incentive. Everyone knows theres a housing crisis and you're going to have an absolute nightmare in that situation.

No.
Lots of men in that age category could be sleeping with older women

So u go out opinion is 'because men'.

Do you hate ALL men then? Is everything their fault?

Less alcohol
Having to leave the house to meet people is not a thing anymore
Not having your own place
No money
Porn

Or some of the men are lying and not admitting to having no sex 🙊

It possibly comes down to education in a lot of cases and cultural changes due to:

Knowing that you can say no and what consent actually means. Birth control is no longer taboo or frowned on but encouraged.

Women and men want to focus on their careers, to be established with property and money the bank.

Cost of living or partying for that has been increasing at pace for the last decade, at least now, if not longer. (Can't be bothered to fact-check myself here!)

Cost of child care, having family do child care isn't as available as it was in previous generations. Same with multi generational living for the most part.

Adult children tend to stay at home for longer and more return back to their homes post uni than previously.

Younger adults not having as much sex could just be that more ppl are being honest and skewing data. Also, if you're not going out as much, you're not tending to meet those random late night hookups and ONS. Therefore less opportunity

It's interesting to see these changes happening

Amazing thing, porn. It's responsible for rising numbers of rape and sex crimes (even when such number don't actually rise), and for men pestering their wives to have sex all the time. At the same time, it makes people have less sex.

I think as a society we are just increasingly atomised and isolated.

People don't interact each other in the same way anymore.

You don't go into shops to buy things we just order everything via apps.

I manage people in their 20s who don't like to talk on the phone as it makes them nervous.

People on here freak out about people calling in on them unexpectedly and don't answer the doorbell when they are in their house.

Kids don't hang around physically with their friends anymore they just play online.

It's no wonder that this translates into less physical intimacy.

Apparently women are becoming more feminist and wanting equal partnerships and men are becoming more right wing and patriarchal, so they’re not really compatible. Add in porn use and access, the issue of ‘too much’ choice on apps for both sexes, and men presenting themselves terribly, the lower rates of people meeting ‘the old fashioned way’ social media instead of spending time together in person, the long working hours, difficult finances, the fact a lot of them live at home and can’t move out for the foreseeable, alongside the lack of prospects for the old goals like marriage and kids, and I don’t think it’s much of a surprise.

or perhaps they were lying then when it was more fashionable to be having more sex. And they’re lying now, when it’s more fashionable to be having less sex.

Probably the internet has a lot to do with it. People spend such a large proportion of their lives online.

My DS is 19 and I'm pretty sure he's not even had his first kiss.

He's extremely shy and doesn't go out socialising :(

Bars and nightclubs have also really cracked down on underage customers. They often ask everyone for id and it has to be proper id. Back in my day, you'd flash your fake id at the bouncer..job done.

Most 18-24 year old who aren’t at uni can’t afford to move put of their parents’ houses. No one wants to shag with their parents in the next room. No one wants to take someone they’re having casual sex with back to their mum and dad’s. When I was in that age group (during the late 90s), I lived with mates. I didn’t know anyone who still lived at home. I definitely wouldn’t have had the same sex life if I’d stayed at home.

No, I think men suffer as a result of all this too.

In the US.

What? She doesn't even mention men in her post!

This is in a nutshell.

I think it’s a really interesting question and suspect like most things it’s a combination of loads of different social factors. Looking back to the early 90s when I was in my late teens I would say that we were maybe a bit too preoccupied with sex and having a boyfriend/ getting some action so possibly a rebalance was overdue. But then maybe it’s biologically normal to be constantly on the hunt when you’re that age. I don’t know.

People are poorer and more online.

I'm just too knackered!