Is anyone In a happy relationship with a male partner who Is thin, slight build and also not tall?

[Whitsta90]

I was wondering if there is anyone who has a small, skinny boyfriend/husband that they are very happy with? I'm 5'8'' which i know by seeing other threads on here would be an issue with some women and maybe not so much with a few others, the only problem is I am also very slight build, which from what I have seen does seem to be more of an issue, especially with also not being of a tall height, i think most women only seem to be attracted to guys on the skinnier side if they are tall as well, the whole thing of not feeling that its manly if your small and skinny etc.

I ask this as i am 33 and have not been in a relationship and reaching the age that i would like to meet someone and have a family. A big reason for my situation is that from a young age I have always been very socially inadequate. I was wondering if my physical stature might have also contributed to me being in this situation, I certainly don't think its entirely down to that, but I was thinking that it might not have helped. Are there any women out there who are in happy relationships/marriages with men of my stature? Anything that would give me a little ray of hope would be much appreciated.

Thanks once again for all the further positive replies, its certainly given me that bit extra boost of confidence. Maybe its too late to mention now as the replies seem to have petered out yesterday so i am assuming not as many people will be viewing this thread but i think modern social media has a lot to answer for regarding mine and other males who have the same physical insecurities as myself, and feeling its a barrier to them achieving being able to have happiness with somebody. I don't know if others have seen but there are endless youtube and tiktok videos, usually made by girls and young women in they're teens and 20s expressing disdain for any guys who are under 6.0'', eg-"Under 6.0? ugh go away" etc, or women on the street being interviewed to ask how tall a guy has to be for them to consider wanting a relationship with, with the creator of the video seeming intent on trying to ram home the message that all women apparently seem to only want to date taller men and if you are average or below game over. Some of the younger users on here may be more familiar with this.

My DP is 5'7 and is perfect.to me. He is confident and takes care of himself

I am 5'9 and he loves my height , likewise I love him as he is.

The other day we were out and he was the step above me on the escalators and we were both laughing and saying how weird it would be if he was taller .

I haven’t a great deal of patience with this, OP. Do you have any idea how entrenched and ugly patriarchal attitudes to women’s bodies are, and how women don’t have to seek those out on YouTube or TikTok, because they’re endemic, and freely expressed by men on the street? I would be very surprised if you had experienced regular street harassment from women, or cars of women shouting marks out of ten on your looks and self-presentation.

This is not to minimise your experience, but you have the option to stay off YouTube and TikTok. I don’t have the option to go out without my body.

Meh I have members of my family shorter than that with utterly fabulous wives. They are both very funny and intelligent which helps a lot.

@Whitsta90

haven't actually those videos but I’m not on tic tok so I suspect they are on there, quit watching whatever platform those type of videos are on as they sound like mindless trash

By the way women are also getting a hard time as every one on social media is so filtered / made up / altered by fillers and Botox that the ‘beauties ‘ that men see online are impossible to achieve by most but men don’t realise that

The point I’m getting at is most social media is not good for anybody’s self esteem

I am 5ft 9 and my husband is 5ft 7. He is skinnier than I am. We have two beautiful children and have been happily married for seven years. He is my best friend, the sex is amazing and I admire him so much (he has twice the confidence I do and an incredible ability to make friends wherever we go). We met in our thirties.

Height is honestly quite irrelevant when you meet the right person. We clicked and could just talk for hours. I have never felt so seen, accepted or comfortable in a partners presence.

Whatever you need to do to have confidence in yourself you should, but it won't be your height holding you back from making a connection.

You might be best meeting people in person though- online dating puts height front and center which makes it harder on shorter guys I think. I was guilty of thinking I needed someone taller when I was online dating and then when I met my husband in real life it was insignificant to the way he made me feel.

I generally don't do social media and i'm not on tik tok but tik tok videos are often able to be viewed on youtube, beauty standards projected on social media isn't what transpires into real life which i think many young people have a hard time differentiating with. I think men and women are both given are hard time nowadays since the advent of social media.

I think that applies to women as well, both men and women are expecting too much of each other beauty standard wise all because of social media, and i think its particularly bad with the younger generation. All i will say is i hope the Tik Tok ban that looks likely to happen in the US extends here and everywhere else too, for that matter

@Whitsta90

i agree, it’s destroying mental health in people of all age groups but especially the younger generations as they have been exposed to it from a very young age

I think young men have it very hard with social media and mainstream media ie the Marvel movies - women have a lot of pressure, but a lot of it is just to be skinny, whereas the kind of six packs and muscle tone I see look like they'd be a second job to create and maintain. Its ridiculous.

And I'm 5'1 and prefer men that aren't too tall as well. Its nice not to have to stand on a box to kiss someone. My last boyfriend was 5"8 and naturally slim, which was perfect.

Those videos are made by people with an agenda though. They're promoting an idea for their own reasons. They seek out, find and show/stage the responses that fit their narrative.

But out of the 4 billion (or whatever it is now) people on this planet you could seek out any opinion you wanted and collect enough videos together to make it seem the entire world shared that view, then the algorithms direct more and more of it to you... It's self fulfilling!

In reality if you lined up every resident of a random city and asked every one if they had a minimum height for a romantic partner, you'd get some yes, some no, and some depends and a whole cross section... But it's not a curated collection and more accurately reflects real life.

Whatever time or energy you put into putting yourself through watching stuff like that, would be better spent seeking out fun and interesting things with fun and interesting people.
Build yourself up don't knock yourself down. Put all your intelligence into constructive uses of your time, those tiktok rabbit holes are just mind mush.

Most of the guys from my uni are like this and most of them married now in 30s. Are your dating app pics decent? If not get better ones taken - pay someone if needs be. Sell yourself on lifestyle and style and kind and funny - women will go for that over how tall or big you are.

Saying that, if you are lacking body confidence working out and lifting weights will do wonders to your confidence. Look at Thomas from the most recent series of mafs Uk and how much he has flourished in confidence after doing weights.

Yes I've seen this sort of bollocks on Reddit etc and is partly why I don't use that forum anymore.

There are many of us (women that is) who don't care about height. What we care about is being treated well, honesty, mutual trust and having a laugh. A bit of confidence and a sense of humour will get you an awful long way. Personally I'd rather date a man around same height as me (5'3") who was confident and funny, than a taller man with no sense of humour and nothing in common.

I feel for you though. Dating apps are shit these days, it must be so hard to find genuinely nice people on there.

Before I met dh, I viewed my ideal man as a tall, blond, broad-shouldered rugby playing wealthy type. Dh is none of those things but (cheesy but true) the moment I met him I knew I'd marry him.

I'm 5' 7.5" and he's barely an inch taller. He's nearer 11 stone now than the 9.5 he was when we met but he has always been very fit. More importantly he has values that match my own, is kind, caring and supportive. Incredibly intelligent but doesn't always have to be right. Cracking sense of humour too. Literally the first time I saw him I knew I could trust him with my life and I haven't been wrong.

Edited to add - we met 27.5 years ago, 26 years married this year.

OP, I'm just coming to add my bit. You've uad some great replies and it's good you're taking them on board.

I totally agree with becoming the best version of yourself.

I actually prefer short men. At 5'8, you'd be at the taller end of my natural preference.

I'm 5'3. My partner is actually 5'11 and he's very tall to me but a lovely man. I don't finding over 6' attractive at all!

The last man I went out with was the same height as me. The one before was 5'4. Unfortunately, they both had massive chips on their shoulders about their height.

The first felt inadequate because he was "in proportion everywhere" which he told me before we had sex and he meant that he didn't have a huge cock he was quite unpleasant to me at times becaise of that. The second openly believed that he'd have been able to do 'better than' me if he'd been taller and was a bit of a prick! Obviously, neither of them lasted very long...

Bottom line is personality is far more important than height!