Is anyone In a happy relationship with a male partner who Is thin, slight build and also not tall?

[Whitsta90]

I was wondering if there is anyone who has a small, skinny boyfriend/husband that they are very happy with? I'm 5'8'' which i know by seeing other threads on here would be an issue with some women and maybe not so much with a few others, the only problem is I am also very slight build, which from what I have seen does seem to be more of an issue, especially with also not being of a tall height, i think most women only seem to be attracted to guys on the skinnier side if they are tall as well, the whole thing of not feeling that its manly if your small and skinny etc.

I ask this as i am 33 and have not been in a relationship and reaching the age that i would like to meet someone and have a family. A big reason for my situation is that from a young age I have always been very socially inadequate. I was wondering if my physical stature might have also contributed to me being in this situation, I certainly don't think its entirely down to that, but I was thinking that it might not have helped. Are there any women out there who are in happy relationships/marriages with men of my stature? Anything that would give me a little ray of hope would be much appreciated.

DH is 5'7"and 3/4 and I still think he's perfect, despite him claiming to be 5'8 😁
He's kind, authentic, loyal, quietly calm and content - for me that's all the good stuff. He's lovely to be around and I feel so lucky to have met him (25 years together now).
Never even considered height in the equation.
Height isn't an issue for loads of people, it's about sooo much more than that.
Both our DS's are 5'8. They don't feel self-conscious because that's who they are and they're perfect like that.
Honestly OP, just confidently be yourself - no comparisons, no belittling yourself for being the 'wrong' size or shape, there's no such thing!

Sorry for the essay, am feeling a bit motherly towards you right now, and don't want you to waste any energy feeling inadequate over this. I wasted so much time when I was younger feeling self-conscious about my appearance. I wish I could go back and tell myself that it's pointless and unnecessary - so much more to making connections with others (and our self-esteem) than how we look!
👌

Men's height must be self reported. I don't believe this is the average...

This!

My partner is 5'8 which is shorter than me, he's not particularly skinny though.

I can think of plenty of men that height who are, though. Two in particular in our friendship group who are very wirey (cycling fanatics) and both in happy marriages to beautiful and intelligent women.

My husband is 5'8 and very slim, he's an avid runner! I've always liked men like this. I'm just under 5ft tall and found larger men quite intimidating/incompatible sexually (some positions didn't work with a drastic height difference). I feel like I'd look daft and always have to wear heels next to a 6 footer!

Don't sweat it. But I agree with PP that maybe focus on shorter women, as I definitely don't feel large next to my husband and I think that's a concern for women tbh.

My DH is taller than me but not by loads. I prefer being with someone who's a similar height. No neck strain and it feels more equal.

I'm not particularly attracted to tall men. And find bulky, buff men unattractive. And believe me, this isn't uncommon amongst my friends and colleagues.

Sex appeal and compatibility are about so much more than your height and build.

My late OH was 5'8", weighed under 8 stone - I fancied him! I have never been out with a man of "normal" or large build - I like 'em skinny!

Honestly, as a woman for me it is confidence in who you are that is attractive. I had a bf for a number of years who I was very happy with (for the first few years) who was the same height as me (5’6”) but it bothered him not one bit, it therefore didn’t occur to me to be bothered by it. He was also slight build. I knew a guy also the same height who blamed all his woes on his height. It proved to me it comes from within.

Been with my husband for 22 years and love him to the end of the earth. He is 5"8. I wouldn't go so far as to say he is skinny, but he's definitely on the smaller side (wears medium clothes but should really buy small).

My other half is short and I wish he was a bit skinnier!

I would stop worrying about your size and shape and work on your social skills.

This will not be an issue for many women, and 5' 8 is not small. My partner was slim and your height when I met him aged 25. I don't find tall men particularly attractive. (I'm 5' 6, so average height for a woman).

My friend just got married to a fantastic woman - he's 5'5ish. She's a bit taller than him. No big deal.

However, 33 with no previous relationships there must be something else going on with you. Maybe some therapy would be a good idea.

You sound intelligent and self aware op, that's more than many men can claim!
As many have already said, be a good friend and a good human, value yourself as much as you value the best person in your life. Or yourself in situations which are conducive to growing confidence (shared interest groups are a good start, I met DH in a jazz club) and enjoy life while you wait to see where it takes you.
There are many ways to be lonely, so while you may wish for a partner you can mitigate the other kinds of loneliness with other good relationships.

Well, if this helps at all... I watched the Oscars the other night and they were doing some ridiculous staged drama for the Best Actor/Actress awards which involved having previous winners come out on stage, 5 of them, to individually blow smoke up the bums of and wax lyrical about one of the current contenders. Tim Robbins was one of those men. He absolutely towered above Ben Kingsley, who was another of the line up, but it was Kingsley who had the bigger presence if that makes sense. Presence is not just down to physical attributes, there's a lot of parts make up the whole. And, as @Eyesopenwideawake has said, you're 1/4 inch taller than Cillian Murphy, who took the gong for Best Actor.

Be your best self. You might not be perfect. Who is. The point is you'll be perfect for someone. You just have to find them. Good luck and have fun with your search.

I was married to a 5ft 9inch slim build guy for 12 years. We eventually divorced but it wasn't due to his build. I am now moving in with my partner who is also 5ft 9inch but he is built like a brick outhouse. I loved my exH once and love my partner now and in neither case did it have anything to do with their physical build. I also dated a 6ft 3inch guy (for 3 years) who was an ex Rugby player and still built that way, a 6ft ginger guy with average build (3 years), a 5ft 7inch very slim built ginger guy (1 year) and a 5ft 10inch average build foreigner (9 mnths).

They had lots in common, none of it looks!

I'm 5'8 and a half, and my boyfriend is pretty much the same height as me. He works out so does have muscles but has a naturally slim build. I'm pretty slim too, I can imagine I might feel a bit more self-conscious if I were bigger but that would be my issue! I tend to prefer being with men who are similar height to me - I like being on a level and being at eye height, and I also find it works better, ahem, in the bedroom. My ex husband was a similar height too, maybe an inch or two taller. I have fancied and been with tall men in the past so it's not a make or break issue for me either way, but I do tend to end up gravitating towards those of average height and slim to average build.

Thanks again for all the positive comments, certainly a lot more than i would have expected, I haven't even had time to look at all of them yet! and i realise its just a case of working to be the best version of myself mentally as well as physically as i already mentioned.

I decided to post on here as I thought it would be better to receive feedback from women who have had relationship experience which i know is generally the majority of users on this forum, i wanted to avoid general forums like Reddit which in my experience are quite heavy with trolls or people giving completely farfetched and off the wall advice

I'm on the spectrum and have had a fairly dysfunctional upbringing so I generally don't have the best social skills, although i'll admit they have improved slightly with age

My sister is.

I've been with DP for 5yrs now and still very happy together, i'm 5ft8 and he's 5ft7. We've both got very 'comfortable' in our relationship and now fat! In theory I shouldnt find a little fat bloke sexy, but I do, not got eyes for ANYONE else. In the past I've been with taller larger guys but that would feel a bit weird now, myself and DP are very equal, same height, same earnings, we switch around who's 'dominant' for want of a better phrase in bed.

My ex husband.
5ft 8 .. skinny .but we met in 1976. I was 5ft7 and slim( ish). Platforms were the fashion.. l towered above him. Didn't bother us.
Together 15 years. One daughter age 40 now.
Still friends but we both moved on.
I also had a partner who was 5ft 6 and one who was 6ft 2.
I like men for themselves not their size.

My brother is 5ft 7 and slim (my opposite!), it's never held him back!

Someone hit the nail on the head earlier, you need to work on your confidence in yourself

My husband is shorter and much skinnier than me. It isn't a problem. I've always gone for slighter-built men.

I've always liked big boys. My dp was the exception. And I can assure you that even with his constitution I fell madly in love. He is the most confident and mature man I have ever been with. And has great masculine energy. Is damn gorgeous and my family/friends can tell it😍

Anywsy women tend to give less importance to the physical appearance. Although it is obvious that we have physical preferences, we are designed differently, I'm sure you'll find someone, but you really need to work in your insecurities! All the best

I don’t like very tall men or the big steroid muscle look at all, my only requirement would be the man was taller than me and 5ft 8 Is fine. Work on your confidence and maybe join groups which you’re interested in like sports or computing etc or evening classes, that then will allow you to meet likeminded women.

But trust me you’re overthinking this, pick your confidence up and go from there !

good luck 😊

I prefer a taller chunkier man these days but one of the best lovers I ever had was built like a jockey. He was very athletic and strong.