Is anyone In a happy relationship with a male partner who Is thin, slight build and also not tall?

[Whitsta90]

I was wondering if there is anyone who has a small, skinny boyfriend/husband that they are very happy with? I'm 5'8'' which i know by seeing other threads on here would be an issue with some women and maybe not so much with a few others, the only problem is I am also very slight build, which from what I have seen does seem to be more of an issue, especially with also not being of a tall height, i think most women only seem to be attracted to guys on the skinnier side if they are tall as well, the whole thing of not feeling that its manly if your small and skinny etc.

I ask this as i am 33 and have not been in a relationship and reaching the age that i would like to meet someone and have a family. A big reason for my situation is that from a young age I have always been very socially inadequate. I was wondering if my physical stature might have also contributed to me being in this situation, I certainly don't think its entirely down to that, but I was thinking that it might not have helped. Are there any women out there who are in happy relationships/marriages with men of my stature? Anything that would give me a little ray of hope would be much appreciated.

Me! I like slightly built men - my husband is 5'8 and weighs less than 8 stone. I love the 'frail' sort of look in a man and every man I've fancied has been on the thin side.

I hope you find someone who appreciates you

My DH is about that height and very slim (he's a marathon runner so has that typical build). We've been together for 15 years very happily.

There is many women out there where this wouldn't be an issue. Sounds like a cliche but just go out there and be yourself. You'll have your qualities, strengths and weaknesses. I'm not sure if your shyness is due to your physical stature. It could be a factor but you'll never know for sure.

My husband is 5'7 and is utterly gorgeous ❤️

My husband is 5'8 and looks like a strong breeze would knock him over. I fancy him something rotten, and he's the best thing to have ever happened to me (children aside)

Mine is 5’6 same height as me! Together 20 years 🙂

I’m not but my mum is 5’9 and my dad and her ex were both 5’7, my dad was really slim and her ex was quite large. It didn’t phase her at all.
It wouldn’t bother me either, if I liked the person I can’t imagine being bothered by their height or weight. I also know a lot of women who like quite skinny men.

Mrs Sunak seems happy with her small skinny husband - and she's the one with the big money!

I know this isn't exactly what you are looking for, but I was in a very happy relationship for several years with a man with the exact same height and build as you (we broke up for unrelated reasons) and found him deeply attractive, always. Look at it this way, if he'd have woken up 5 inches taller and broader overnight, i wouldn't have had the 'yippee' reaction some people might expect, id have probably been thrown off quite considerably! He suited it, and I never once wished he was taller - he was never bothered if I wore heels and was very complimentary if I did. He definitely owned it though, would do the occasional joke about it himself, and laugh along with the odd joke about it, though to be honest he never got that many - It's hard if it is something you are insecure about, but I think you've just got to own it, (fake it until you make it) make sure you are kind always to and about others, and have a sense of humour about it. The only short men who put women off in my experience, are the ones who openly have a chip on their shoulder/sensitive about it - which I do understand to a degree, as people can be very rude and it must be tiresome, but those comments say a lot more about the person saying them than you.
I would 1000% date a man of similar height and stature again, in fact quite a few of my past boyfriends or crushes have been on the smaller side!

To someone my height , 5'1 , and there's plenty of us out there ; you would be a fine tall fella. Admittedly my husband is very tall but I feel envious of couples who mirror each other in height and can always see eye to eye.

This is about sexual attraction and sex that's all and there is a lid for every pot.

Most women do not want to feel they are the biggest in the bed significantly- either weight wise or height wise because it makes them feel unfeminine.
So a man's primary best-odds pool will be women who are similar to them in body size or smaller.

"Most women" but not all though - so there will be women who actively enjoy being physically dominant and more powerful and feeling more in control, there will be women who don't care, and women who are more driven by other attributes (fame and wealth being obvious ones but there are others like kindness, family values, religious beliefs).

Most men who are thin and slight that I know and see are in relationships with women also thin and slight either equal too or more so than them.

My first husband was slim and shorter than you.
Your negative self image is more likely to impact your love life than your height. If you like yourself, other people are more likely to.

Whilst I agree that many women want a man who is bigger than they are (and many men want a small woman) I can certainly think of exceptions to this.
I think the most attractive thing about any man is his personality and character.
I would rate integrity, kindness, intelligence and humour over appearance any day.
Have you seen Gogglebox? Pete Sandiford is similar build to you but if I was a lot younger and he wasn’t a married man I would find him very attractive because he is so honest and witty. Who doesn’t love a man who makes you laugh?

You're self sabotaging. If you think your height and build are a problem, then they become a problem. I'm 5'7" and the opposite of skinny. And ginger to boot. I certainly wasn't built for online dating, done a bit better in the real world though.

My mate is absolutely gorgeous and she fancies men of your description more than any other build. Another ray of hope.

My dad was 5’8” and had a slim but strong build, he had two marriages (second marriage 30 years and would be still going if he were here) and six children total. He was the best, most hard working man.

Thanks for all the positive comments, i guess its just a case of being the best version of yourself as some have implied.

I’m short (5’) and like small , slight men! In particular, I find really beefy men unattractive - I like a lean look 😁

My younger son (who is 19) is very slight. He is very conscious of being slight (he has been unwell, and was slightly underweight because of that, so he really is extremely slight). I bought him some weights so he could try and build himself up a bit. It hasn’t yet worked too well because he was unwell (and couldn’t eat much) but maybe you could try something like that - it might help with your confidence.

My DH is very tall. But before him I always dated short, slim men. Personal preference for a man who is about my height. I adore DH but if I could shrink him to 5'7 or 8 I would.😄

Honestly, it only matters if you think it does. My son is a lot shorter than you. He used to be so hung up about it, then stopped caring. He's been in two long term relationships with taller women, and two with women his height. He's had no problems getting dates since he stopped worrying about height.

His current girlfriend is gorgeous and about four inches taller than him. They don't care and nor should you.

You sound fine to me!

I was wondering if my physical stature might have also contributed to me being in this situation

No, it's your feelings of inadequacy about your physical stature.

A big reason for my situation is that from a young age I have always been very socially inadequate.

Deal with that problem first. You are a 1/4inch taller than Cillian Murphy (yes, I checked!).

Men focus too much on the external things like looks, status, job, money and cars. Most women don't pay attention to that.

Women like men who know how to speak to them and listen to their needs. Who know how to care for them. Who will pull their weight around the house and do an actual 50/50 split with the kids. Who are honest about themselves and confident in who they are. Focus more on learning to speak to women than what you look like and you'll do great.

Absolutely. DP looks after himself which helps - he dresses well - not necessarily expensive but he wears things that flatter his shape, fitted trousers and shirts etc, slim jeans and fitted jumpers. Nice trimmed beard and regular haircuts. He looks neat and trim whereas a lot of his friends at 40 ish have a bit of a belly now. He goes to the gym regularly, he won’t ever bulk up but he feels better and healthier and it gives a bit of muscle definition. I always think he has a bit of a Spanish / Italian look being shorter and slim especially on hols. I’m a fan!

You will definitely find lots of women who like you the way you are but presenting the best version of yourself will always help and make you feel more confident. Good luck!

Men focus too much on the external things like looks, status, job, money and cars. Most women don't pay attention to that.

Oh yes we women as a class are well known for not being interested in status, job, money, financial security - basic ability to provide for a family. No. No women pay attention to that.

Meanwhile back in Kansas...

Prince had that build. He was an absolute sex bomb. Really.

Do your best to just own it! Do stuff to build up your confidence and own it.