I’m beyond angry. Just a rant.

[Ihavenamechanged987]

Not sure if relationships is exactly the right place for this but I’m reeling. How could anybody believe this is acceptable!

So guy I’ve known for years and would have said was a friend, albeit one I don’t see often. Both of us have had a rough month so arranged to meet him for drinks tonight with a few other people, strictly platonic. He was aware of this… or so I thought.

Texting earlier to arrange meeting time place etc and he starts to get a bit flirty. I clarify that this is just friends having a drink and a laugh together and nothing else and he agrees but then starts to push it again. Anyway I’ve attached the texts below because I’m speechless and angry.

The gist of the last message which is cut off is him asking if I’m still going! Funnily enough the answer was no with a side of me telling him he’s creepy and rapey. I’ve blocked and will never speak to him again but I’m so angry.

I couldn't date a man who didn't know how to spell you're.

His old best friend thought she had best a friend until she suddenly got cut out as punishment for not shagging him.
he’s the classic friend zone guy, angry that women don’t repay his listening ear with sex. And then he’s tried negging you as well. He sounds thick as shit.

Eurgh I just remembered something else he said on the phone.

He was trying to convince me to still meet him later and I said I didn’t feel comfortable travelling to where he lives as it’s difficult to get back from at night and he’d made me really uncomfortable. He said I should know him better than to think he would just turf me out onto the street. He couldn’t seem to grasp that I may not want to spend the night at his house as he’d just told me I had no choice but to cuddle him and he’d be disappointed if I wouldn’t sleep with him! (But he’d accept it of course!)

This text exchange made my stomach churn OP.

Can you install Trucaller on your mobile phone so you can see who it is that is calling you if you are needing to answer every call.

He is all very hard done by isn't he.

He expresses himself like a female Towie reject? What a bizarre take. OP has given a detailed account of the kind of rape culture misogyny that men relentlessly perpetrate against women on a daily basis, and you've somehow turned it into an opportunity to insult women and in particular women who look/sound a certain way. Unbelievable.

Back to the 21st century with everyone else...

This is such typical incel male behaviour. His goal is always to have sex with you and he continually attempted to erode your boundaries and then when he's hit a dead end, he's started with the verbal abuse. Creepy, rapey, grubby little man. You have lost absolutely nothing here. He was no friend to you. The fact that he keeps contacting you and using different phones is creepy as fuck. If you get another message or call I would log it with the non-urgent police number. He sounds fucking unhinged.

Hoo boy, you must be so relieved you didn’t go. He’s a very angry, entitled little man isn’t he? He’s blameshifting and gaslighting you to make you feel guilty for ever thinking that he could possibly be anything but honourable - despite the text evidence that shows he’s had a giant mantrum because you wouldn’t be dissuaded. I’m so pleased you stuck to your guns, and hope he doesn’t know your address.

What a creep 😳 block him and never see him or talk to him again!

Oh look, it's a 'nice guy'!

Imagine pressuring someone into cuddling you. How creepy. Not sure that it's sexual (from those messages anyway) but it's still needy and weird as fuck. People hug if they want to hug not because they're been told to hug.

He's obviously not read how to win friends and influence people 🤔 Sounds like a shit "friend" nevermind anything more intimate. I wouldn't want to negotiate who gets what chocolates in a box of qualitystreet with someone like that, nevermind anything more personal

This. Plus
"He's had a giant Mantrum" 😂

Good call OP.

Unfortunately I do think this line of thinking is fairly common amongst male "friends" - I've become quite boundaried/wary as a result.

Even if not said directly (like this guy) there's often a random occasional "testing the waters". Even if they're married.

It's especially unpleasant as often they go for women who are vulnerable/lonely/needing a friend. So it's like a "double blow" emotionally.

(Look up "widows experiences"!

"Your husband has just died, time for me to move on you and get some sex!") .

For a listening ear or emotional support, I'd try to to find ways of self-soothing as being vulnerable, often the only kind of people who are going to be interested/make the time are total predators.

He doesn’t know my address so I’m not concerned about that. He has tried to call me again but I didn’t answer and will not knowingly answer again.

I’m really bloody angry. Also relieved he showed his cards before I met him.

For those missing the worst messages- there is a third screen of messages. That is where the really scary one is located that says he isn't expecting a shag but would be very sad if she didn't give him one and that the least she can do is cuddle....

Really scary dude. Best to be a loooong way from this nutter!

@Ihavenamechanged987 oh my god - I’d be inclined to answer his last text with “oh you seemed to have spelled ‘Sorry’ incorrectly”

but best to just ignore

can you get a new number and migrate everyone to that?

The gist of the last message which is cut off is him asking if I’m still going! Funnily enough the answer was no with a side of me telling him he’s creepy and rapey. I’ve blocked and will never speak to him again but I’m so angry.

how come you didn’t post this screen shot?

@perplexedbutok no reason other than it was quicker just to explain what it said but I’ll post it below.

He’s messaged me of the unknown number again asking me to just turn up and meet him. I’m not worried as such because he doesn’t know where I live but this is starting to feel a bit unhinged.

' cuddle ' ick ! he's not 2 years old is he ?

maybe stay away from the kisses when sending messages to a male friend, especially when you are all going out as a mixed group of friends.

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon I know, I wish I had. I tend to match the amount of x’s to the person I’m replying to. Ingrained habit that I need to get out of.

What a horrible little man. Is the reason he only has female friends because he tried to "cuddle" all his male friends' girlfriends in front of them? 🤔

Def not normal. Bin x

Bullet dodged there, what an arsehole.

Oh God, me too. Cuddle is very intimate and the word gives me the fucking ick.

I'm beginning to think that an ex platonic male best friend of mine who mainly had female friends had them for certain reasons. We'd stay over separately, share a bed (fully clothed of course!) but he'd occasionally do the cuddle in sleep thing. Because he was such a nice, chilled guy and of course he'd never try anything on (so he said) he had loads of female friends. Now I just think years on he was a creepy perve.

He thinks women are 'self serving' because they don't sleep with him.

The entitlement.

Glad this all happened over message before you met him op, bullet well and truly dodged.