I’m beyond angry. Just a rant.

[Ihavenamechanged987]

Not sure if relationships is exactly the right place for this but I’m reeling. How could anybody believe this is acceptable!

So guy I’ve known for years and would have said was a friend, albeit one I don’t see often. Both of us have had a rough month so arranged to meet him for drinks tonight with a few other people, strictly platonic. He was aware of this… or so I thought.

Texting earlier to arrange meeting time place etc and he starts to get a bit flirty. I clarify that this is just friends having a drink and a laugh together and nothing else and he agrees but then starts to push it again. Anyway I’ve attached the texts below because I’m speechless and angry.

The gist of the last message which is cut off is him asking if I’m still going! Funnily enough the answer was no with a side of me telling him he’s creepy and rapey. I’ve blocked and will never speak to him again but I’m so angry.

I’m so sorry you’ve felt the need to divulge such personal information because someone can’t understand that even women with children (regardless of their pregnancy status) might want to meet up with friends and become the victim of a creep.

To anyone who isn’t clear on this: ANYONE can become the victim of a stalker. It does not matter if that person is single, has a partner, is divorced, has kids, is pregnant, is young, is old… Creeps be creepin regardless.

Even on this thread alone we’ve heard stories from women who are in relationships and still having to fight off these men.

What the hell is wrong with you? She thought he was a friend, she has known him for years. Are you some sad little incel too who doesn’t think women with children should be allowed out the house or something? Do you think men can never be friends with women?

@perplexedbutok why are you now stalking previous threads I’ve commented on and replying to me on those? It’s a bit strange. Thank you for your help but I don’t think I’ll engage any longer.

Oh wow, any chance this poster could be the same man? Very weird behaviour.

Yes agree. Would not surprise at all if this is "Cuddle Guy".

So sorry to hear about the rough time you've had, OP. Take care of yourself, and don't be upset by one unsympathetic poster. The rest of us are firmly in your corner. Very glad to hear that you haven't been contacted again, but I agree with others that it's still worth calling 101 to report it.

That's fucking weird behaviour! What is wrong with people.

I’d really like to think he’s not stalking mumsnet! Mind you the last 24 hours have shown me you never really know!

Do you think women should go into purdah and not meet friends when they have kids and are pregnant?

That’s not all you’re “just” doing, though, is it?

This is one of those examples where texting can confuse the dialogue.
I agree saying cuddle sounds odd a bit creepy - but perhaps with hindsight when he texted this, you should have called him and had an old fashioned phone conversation that way you would have been able to address more directly what he wanted from the meet up.

Are you kidding me? Did you not read his follow-up messages?!

Are you a man, Chris?

Because telling a woman you're definitely going to get cuddles and then trying to be sheepish saying 'it's a bit too early isn't it' and then saying 'don't even bother' if you're not going to give me cuddles is ALL SEXUAL.

Women aren't thick, you know.

Yes that's what I meant when he first says cuddle at the START
of the conversation! Only going on the fact that OP says he is AN OLD FRIEND who she Has known for years - if she has known him for years and he says that at the start of a text exchange why would she not switch to phone call ?

No I am a woman - actually I agree with you about the cuddles !!
Let me explain at bit clearer I am not good at explaining myself sometimes
1, OP says he is a friend she has known for years ok.
I take that to
mean she has no reason to be concerned about him in any way.
That's says to me she doesn't see their relationship as anything more than friendship.

1. He says def getting cuddles

If this was me I would see this as creepy Instead of texting I would have switched to phone call and said what did you mean by that ?

1. When he is says its a bit too early - she then replies about distance and how long it takes her get there may be OP can clarify this but I thought they talking about early as in the time they were meeting up ? Maybe I am wrong which illustrates what I mean about interpretation of texts !!!

But you went on to say "with hintsight you should have called him"...

No, her approach was completely vindicated by his follow-up. Any outcome other than "get him out of your life completely and for ever" was proven to be suboptimal.

@Chris002 "Instead of texting I would have switched to phone call and said what did you mean by that ?"

She knew exactly what he meant by that, and he proved it in spades. What possible advantage could there have been to doing this over the phone?

WTF is wrong with some people on this thread?

OP has been aggressively harassed by a man she thought was a friend after swiftly laying down boundaries when his texting became inappropriate. There is not a single thing about her own conduct to question. The rest of her life is none of our business.

Hope you're OK this morning OP and he continues to leave you alone. I think it is worth reporting to the police in light of the new information about the complaint made by his ex girlfriend but I could understand if his behaviour yesterday has made you wary of escalating things now he's leaving you alone.

Why would she switch to phone calls when someone gets creepy? That will give the pervert even more ammunition.

I second giving the police the evidence they need about this man.

I see another poster has commented similar. But please please do report his behaviour and give them the numbers he’s contacting you on. You could really make a difference in another case for another woman.

It's a good thing she did stick to texts because she now has proof for the police.

Your phone call suggestion would have meant no proof, which is maybe what you want.

I agree. Report.

And keep every one f those texts - you may need them.

This happened to me and I proceeded to go out against my better judgment. Though he wasn't obvious like this. He raped me. I knew him for years, he walked me down the aisle, my children called him uncle...
I'm sorry this has happened.