I’m beyond angry. Just a rant.

[Ihavenamechanged987]

Not sure if relationships is exactly the right place for this but I’m reeling. How could anybody believe this is acceptable!

So guy I’ve known for years and would have said was a friend, albeit one I don’t see often. Both of us have had a rough month so arranged to meet him for drinks tonight with a few other people, strictly platonic. He was aware of this… or so I thought.

Texting earlier to arrange meeting time place etc and he starts to get a bit flirty. I clarify that this is just friends having a drink and a laugh together and nothing else and he agrees but then starts to push it again. Anyway I’ve attached the texts below because I’m speechless and angry.

The gist of the last message which is cut off is him asking if I’m still going! Funnily enough the answer was no with a side of me telling him he’s creepy and rapey. I’ve blocked and will never speak to him again but I’m so angry.

Whether he contacts you again or not, I would absolutely be notifying the police of this.

I had a similar (albeit nowhere near as bad) incident a couple of years ago. It really bothered me, and I was also worried about it escalating, so I reported it all on 101. They said this was absolutely the sort of report they want to receive because if he did it again to someone else, or if he did something worse, they could prove a pattern of behaviour.

Please do report it!

I completely agree with this. One day a woman might not have the same courage to put a stop to it before meeting up with him, and having this interaction on record will mean she’s not alone when she reports him for assault.

He has crossed the line in several ways - for me, the creepiest of all the creepy things is using a different number after you blocked him. How on earth does someone think, hmm she’s blocked me, maybe she’ll respond if I up the creep factor?!

Thank you everyone! This thread honestly kept me sane yesterday!

Just wanted to answer a few questions.

He doesn’t know where I live and I offered to travel closer to him because I didn’t want him knowing the general area where I live. While I’ve never seen him react like this before I know enough about his past relationships to be wary. Also it was closer for everyone else so just worked out better.

Genuinely have known him for years. Haven’t seen him for around two though but kept in touch. Although probably not as much as he’d have liked based on the ‘I was never there for him texts’. Truthfully that was because he was always complaining about women he was seeing or not being able to find anyone through tinder and how women were only interested in him for sex or until he ran out of money. I just can’t listen to that.

Thankfully I’ve heard nothing since that last really nasty message yesterday. If I do hear from him today I’ll log it with 101. I may do it anyway. I found out yesterday evening from a mutual friend that police are already investigating him due to allegations made by his ex. At least if he ever crosses a line in the future I know that there is probably quite a large police file already on him.

And? Are you troll hunting?

OP, I’m so sorry you encountered an incel in the wild, but thank god he showed his true colours before you left your house. F he keeps harassing you, report him, don’t even think twice about it.

@perplexedbutok yes, I do have three children with my ex husband.
After we divorced I entered a relationship with another man that lasted just shy of two years. I found out I was pregnant around Christmas a few weeks after we broke up and had a termination. The termination wasn’t entirely what I wanted but I had to put my existing children first.

I did say it had been a rough month…

No, and nor do you know if she’s still pregnant. It’s not fair to bring that onto this thread. What’s your goal here exactly?

The police said it would be kept on file.

@Ihavenamechanged987 If he’s already being investigated PLEASE report what happened to you. It could make all the difference if they can prove a pattern of behaviour.

You don’t need to explain yourself to some twat who thinks they’re Colombo. Sorry you’ve had such a rough time of it recently.

Why do you think it is relevant?

Is someone with 3 children or who may or may not be pregnant not entitled to meet up with a friend. As that is what the situation was to be starting out.

I am sorry that you had to make a difficult decision OP, but you do not need to justify things to anyone. Especially someone you don't know who seems to be having a motive of some sorts here.

Yes, this re: pattern of behaviour.

He sounds like a weirdo.

@isthismylifenow and @Naunet thank you both. I knew I should have name changed again!

FWIW, OP, I also hope you report his behaviour irrespective of whether he contacts you again.

@perplexedbutok omg, if you must know everything… I was posting on the September babies thread in February because initially I wasn’t going to terminate. I wanted to keep the baby. It wasn’t an easy decision. My heart wanted them but my head said my existing children’s quality of life would suffer too much. I terminated mid February. I could tell you the exact date if you like?

Also he wasn’t someone I hardly knew. We used to be closer and I haven’t seen him for a few years. In the past I’ve stayed over his house with other people present and nothing of this sort happened.

You have made your point, in thinking you are so clever in doing searches on OP.

Will you stop now please.

None of what you have posted in relevant or helpful in any way.

Interesting how this thread has now turned to blaming the OP for considering meeting up with a friend instead of focusing on the absolutely entitled incel behaviour of this man. Or not really. It often happens.