Husband's reaction to sexting by Geri Halliwell's husband

[Turkathon]

My husband and I were talking about Geri Halliwell's husband, who has been caught 'sexting' his female colleague.

I don't think there are sexual images in the WhatsApp messages. They are flirty texts with a sexual element. For example, he asks women what kind of underwear they're wearing.

My husband said that it shouldn't be a massive deal for a women if her husband does this (though he said 'it isn't great'). He said that women who get really riled and angry about this sort of thing are letting their thinking be clouded by 'gender politics'.

I thought he was joking but he wasn't.

Would many people take my husband's attitude?

Wtf? So he’s priming you to be blasé about him sexting other women?

Ask him that. “So you’re saying if you sext other women, I should just be ‘cool’ about it, or - it’s ’gender politics gone mad’?! And you’d be fine with me sexting male colleagues?”

In short it’s not ok, and your H has just exposed himself to be a sexist twat who thinks it’s ok to cheat.

Gosh! No. I’ve just asked DH and he was amazed (as I am) that anyone would think this was ok.

Literally lost for words after reading that

Just tell him you'll remember that when you see some bloke you fancy.

He can't complain 🤷🏻

Ask him at what point a wife should be able to complain. Just so you know how far you can go with your new beau.

It bang out of order

Urgh, he's gross. Not sure I could accept that attitude. Any previous indications he's a sexist pig?

Good luck with that as a husband …

When you asked him if it was now OK for you to ask men about their under crackers was he ok with that?

I'd ask him for his mates numbers then

Then it's ok for women to also text other men that way.

Right??

If someone asks me what sort of underwear I'm wearing, it's a clear indication they're interested sexually. It wouldn't be acceptable in most relationships to be sending it outside of the relationships, and it could be evidence of workplace sexual harassment if sent to colleagues.

I'd find that very worrying if my husband said that. I'd be wondering what else he thought was "no big deal".

This would tell me he has already done (or is currently doing) similar and feels he has done nothing wrong.

He thinks that just sending 'light-hearted' flirty sexts shouldn't be seen as marriage-ending.

For context, he is a devout Catholic and he says he wouldn't cheat.

I think that sending a text to another woman, where it has something sexual in it, is a form of cheating?

It's up to every individual what they want to put up with in a relationship, the idea that the 'bar' to leave a relationship is something dictated by the other person/friends/family/society is at the root cause of a LOT of problems. Relationships are about consent and you are always, 100% in sole possession of that consent to leave if you wish, doesn't matter what anyone else's 'bar' is.

I AM curious as to if your husband would be okay with you sending/receiving those kinds of texts?

Get your ducks in a row, devout my arse.

You picked a wrong un, sorry

Thinks it’s ok to text women enquiring about their knickers….’devout catholic’ 😄
Was this chat really the first time you discovered he’s sexist and a bit thick?

Please ask him if it’s ok for you to flirt with other men and ask what they’re wearing for underwear.

Sorry, this is a male perspective and only a few men that it came up with incidentally when spoken about. That it was OK was not even considered by any of the blokes at the boxing club.
For the OPs husband to say such things and to his wife seems plain unusual.

Does he even know what “gender politics” is? He doesn’t sound very bright.

I cba with cheaters or sleazy fuckers. Though I’d have a lot of fun telling them about my comfortable cotton full-size “briefs”.

The trouble with this is that some for some, even many, women , the knowledge that their partner might be doing this, or condoning it, immediately brings about a strong reaction in the form of the ick factor.
Apart from the possible cheating connotations, i'd feel a loss of respect for my DH.
He would not be the man i believed him to be and I'd feel personally let down.
So icky and damaging to relationships.

No. Not just because he's married but also because he was in a position of power over the woman in question. In any vaguely ethical organisation that would be considered gross misconduct, and quite bloody right too. Women don't go to work to be sexually harassed, and certainly not by people who can put them in fear of having their career compromised if they don't play ball.

This.

Sounds like he's decided cheating is a very very narrow band of behaviour so that God won't smite him. But I would.