Husband's reaction to sexting by Geri Halliwell's husband

[Turkathon]

My husband and I were talking about Geri Halliwell's husband, who has been caught 'sexting' his female colleague.

I don't think there are sexual images in the WhatsApp messages. They are flirty texts with a sexual element. For example, he asks women what kind of underwear they're wearing.

My husband said that it shouldn't be a massive deal for a women if her husband does this (though he said 'it isn't great'). He said that women who get really riled and angry about this sort of thing are letting their thinking be clouded by 'gender politics'.

I thought he was joking but he wasn't.

Would many people take my husband's attitude?

Sexting is cheating in my eyes. Light hearted flirty texts can lead to not so light hearted behaviour.
“A devoted Catholic who says he wouldn’t cheat”. Hmmmm, assuming you married in a church, (forgive me if I’m wrong) do the words “Forsaking all others” in the vows he swore before God mean nothing to him or is he cherry picking parts of the vows to suit his narrative?

I knew a Devoted Catholic, my aunt, she converted to Catholicism on marriage, her house was almost like a shrine to God, went to Church, to confession… she confessed her sins every week, held herself up as a paragon of virtue while the rest of us were beyond redemption, according to her. . Until it was discovered she’d stolen from and cheated her siblings out of thousands of pounds from a legacy from another sibling.
My dad was one of the ones affected.

So he wouldn't mind you having conversations like that with other men then?

Devout catholic indeed.
Another ‘upstanding’ person in society hiding behind religion, with shit standards.

You're on notice. He's either already done this or is doing it currently.

Well that isn't what "gender politics" means is it, because that term at most means politics that affect women, like the same sex space dispute, and at worse is a confusion of "feminist politics".

Here is a simple test. Does he think it's ok for a married woman to text a male colleague something like "hey babe guess what colour underwear I'm wearing?" Or whatever else.

Ask him if he gets upto that kinda thing? Would it be okay vice versa?

Clearly nothing in them. Hence CH asking her to delete all the messages... it def sounded like there had been some physical intimacy.

I'd be worried a male director of a large company thinks messages like this from the boss to an employee are fine. And anyone who thinks otherwise is spouting gender politics. Think he needs some refresher training.

He sounds quite narrow minded and naive. His Catholicism will have nothing to do with it - just another example of someone's twisted view of Christianity.

I wonder what his attitude would be if he found you sexting. Totally different from how you should react if he caught you doing it.

He's cheated on you

If you have to hide it from your wife, then you have to accept that it's wrong.

Oh, @MrsTerryPratchett
"But I would."
😂😂😂😂😂

It's very sexist and insulting to say that a normal healthy boundary around how you expect your husband to behave in a marriage is our poor little women's brains unable to handle all the "gender politics", and now we're just all in a muddle. No arsehole, women are perfectly capable of understanding their own relationship boundaries. And we're perfectly capable of understanding politics and feminism, we don't need a condescending name for our political involvement aimed at promoting women's rights.

What he really means is that before women had equal economic and social rights they just had to put up with their husbands off at work doing this sort of shit, so why can't we just shut up about it now?

So he thinks it's okay for your male colleagues to send you flirty texts asking about your underwear?

You married a shit man. That’s always a shame. And he is stupid irregardless of his very important and impressive job title.

So he is a devout catholic that Dosen’t think asking a woman who he is not in a relationship with an intimate question like what underwear she is wearing is any issue at all…….and you don’t find this strange?
Men who do this are building it up to an affair or at least trying to do so

What else does your husband think it’s ok to text strange women about

I don’t think it’s marriage ending but if they are doing that they are doing other things you don’t know aswell

So he'd be cool you sexting a bloke... rich, handsome, available... see how he feels about that

Thanks all. I've often wondered why men 'sext' women, particularly more junior colleagues. Are they hoping it will lead to more? What drives them to do it? Surely it's very high risk, because texts can be shared. Several MPs have got into trouble for it.

@Turkathon
Presumably you asked him the obvious question about if men should be ok with their wives doing this?

And what was his response?

My DH and his mates are F1 fans and have seen the texts. He said they’re cringey flirting rather than sexting. He also said he thinks the majority of men he knows have sent similar.

He's not that bright if he thinks this.

Cheating (noun): any behaviour involving a third party that you would not want your spouse to find out about.

I'd be planning my exit strategy in your situation. He's told you that he doesn't respect women, believe him.

What would he think if some bloke was sending you messages like this?

My DH says sounds just like the response from someone who has done some "light flirting" themselves and is trying to justify the behaviour.

@Turkathon

Thanks all. I've often wondered why men 'sext' women, particularly more junior colleagues. Are they hoping it will lead to more? What drives them to do it? Surely it's very high risk, because texts can be shared. Several MPs have got into trouble for it.

Their thinking is clouded by lust and a bit of flattery

Have you seen them? There’s him sending pics of his chest and one that could be a finger but probably isn’t . I read them. No wife should be accepting that behaviour as flirting

The texts refer to an incident where whatever they got up to in person lead to CH (her boss) having to go to the bathroom to 'finish himself off'.

So clearly not 'cringy flirting'.