Stories of stingiest first dates

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Just comparing experiences here at a friends ... jaw dropping stuff!

Mine asked me to transfer money for a coffee and cake after our first date which was a walk and feeding the ducks.
I thought we were going for lunch ... that was the original invite.
Another asked me to transfer money to r a takeaway having offered to pay for my child and I , as he stayed at mine every weekend. Both ended there and then !

Just cause he wanted to split the cost!

Honestly I would have offered to split especially on a first date

Unless I was literally in the physical act of eating, I would actually have no problem walking out on a lunch or dinner date.

Some of these stories are shocking.

sorry but if a guy can’t even buy you a glass of wine, that is exceptionally stingy.

it speaks to what they value and their generosity IMO. I would find this insulting.

It is when if it is just one drink!

Not me but my dd. Second date. First date she invited him round and cooked for him (they already knew each other through previous job). Second date he wants to take her for a picnic. She drove them as he said his car was in for repair. They get to the destination and go for a walk. Find a nice spot and he gets the picnic out. An Asda sandwich with a whoops sticker on which he gave her half of. He'd bought one big bottle of water to share which he'd obviously refilled out the tap, no cups he just swigged it out the bottle then handed it to her . And a packet of fruit pastels.

Then you pay.....

If you think splitting is stingy then you should pay all

Unless you're sexist and think 'a man should pay because he's a man'

I guess I’m sexist then!

It works both ways you know. Splitting the bill is absolutely fair. We are not fair damsels who need taking out and paying for. Very outdated

Not a first date, but the last.

Dated a man who was a senior consultant.

He took me to a pretty expensive restaurant and didn't balk at paying for the entire meal, even though I offered to share the cost.

Except he demanded his exact change from the taxi driver. Literally, demanded. Like it was ludicrous that he should hand over a tenner for an eight pound journey.

I ended up fishing my change out of my purse and plonking it all down as I got out. I was so embarrassed to be with him.

Whatever works for you is fine. I don’t need buying a drink because I’m helpless. It’s something I’d appreciate as an act of generosity from someone who is demonstrating they value me and my time.
if that makes me sexist and outdated I’m totally happy with that. If a man couldn’t or wouldn’t buy me a glass of wine I would assume he wasn’t interested in me. Because to be honest, if he was, he would just buy the glass of wine. It’s a glass of wine.

I’m a man, a millennial so you get the idea of age, and though I haven’t dated for 20 years, I think the man should usually pay for the first date. Fair enough if people don’t want to do that, but the man should definitely pay when it is one glass or wine and one coke!

I'm also one who would expect to be bought a drink (and would expect to buy the next one if so). Splitting a 2-drinks bill is just trampy.

And don't even get me started on the additional costs associated with being a woman who goes on dates, and men's expectations thereof.

First date with a guy I did go on to see for a while - more fool me - we'd bought a coke each in a local shop and gone to sit in a local picnic area just by the car park while we talked. Then he decided he needed a wee, but didn't want to pay to use the toilets in the car park, so he just went and weed in the bushes beside our picnic spot.

Gross, to save him 20p.

You sound like hard work

@Rolypolyup I make a point of being hard work when faced with tight-arsed shithouse men, on principle.

100%… he couldn’t even pay for my £6 glass of wine when the bill came?! That’s beyond stingy and utterly embarrassing for a 49 yr old man who wanted to see me again

What kind of dates do you usually ask women on?

Exactly! I’d have probably understood more if he didn’t wanna see me again. But he mentioned several times during the date how he’d love to see me again etc. and then wanted to split a £10 bill… stingy beyond belief and I don’t want to meet someone who , when trying to give off their absolute best impression of themselves (and at the big old age of 49), wanted to split a £10 bill

I agree.
And even if I am out with a friend and we have a drink or a coffee, splitting the bill is embarrassing, I'd rather cover the whole thing than be that stingy.
Stingy is a bad look for someone who is presumably trying to impress, male or female.

Hadn’t been on many in my life before my wife 😁, but usually cinema, bar maybe (if they were over 18 or looked over 18!). I was a teenager then.

I've been on dates and paid my half. I wouldn't want to see a man against if he insisted on paying for everything.

Generous is one thing, I'm not putting myself into a position where I owe any fucker anything and I am not having someone think I owe them a shagging cause they paid for shit.

If a relationship is to be fair in the future, it has to be fair at the start. - My Mum

We went to Starbucks for a coffee. I was first in the queue and ordered a drink, paid and went to wait. He didn't order anything.

We sat there for a while with me and my coffee and him with nothing. He had the cheek to say 'well this is embarrassing '!!

Didn't see him again.

I don’t really see myself ‘for sale’ so I wouldn’t assume that sex was expected because someone bought me dinner and would never feel pressured into doing so.

If a man thinks that, it’s on him. It’s not true generosity then. It’s a transaction. No thanks.

Your mum is absolutely right. And considering that most women in relationships work full or part time, do the majority of childcare and housework and emotional labour, it’s absolutely right that a man should pay for a date right upfront at the beginning 😀

If I'm out dating I often insist on paying for full bill (usually just a couple of drinks or coffees) because then I don't feel like I owe them anything.

If a man offers to pay I'll always check that he's sure etc and I ALWAYS pay for the 2nd date if that has been the case.

But if they don't even offer to pay or split then I think they're cocklodgers so I don't see them again.