Page 6 | Stories of stingiest first dates

frtedsbed · 2024-02-29T15:02:31+00:00

Just comparing experiences here at a friends ... jaw dropping stuff! Mine asked me to transfer money for a coffee and cake after our first date which was a walk and feeding the ducks. I thought we were going for lunch ... that was the original invite. Another asked me to transfer money to r a takeaway having offered to pay for my child and I , as he stayed at mine every weekend. Both ended there and then !

TheFormidableMrsC · 29/02/2024 18:51

I've got a friend who went on a date (OLD) with a guy who booked a table in an expensive gastro restaurant. Friend was absolutely prepared to split the bill because that was how she preferred it. He was very over the top with ordering expensive wine, lobster, beef rib etc. She is vegetarian so chose to reflect that. At the end of the date, he asked for the bill and then just sat there when it arrived. She said "shall we split this" (despite the fact he'd eaten and drunk four or five times the cost of her meal). His response was "I thought this was your treat". The fucking cheek of it. She paid the bill (£250) and walked out. He seemed surprised she didn't want a second date. Tight AND lacking in self awareness.

Rubbishconfession · 29/02/2024 18:52

TheFormidableMrsC · 29/02/2024 18:51

I've got a friend who went on a date (OLD) with a guy who booked a table in an expensive gastro restaurant. Friend was absolutely prepared to split the bill because that was how she preferred it. He was very over the top with ordering expensive wine, lobster, beef rib etc. She is vegetarian so chose to reflect that. At the end of the date, he asked for the bill and then just sat there when it arrived. She said "shall we split this" (despite the fact he'd eaten and drunk four or five times the cost of her meal). His response was "I thought this was your treat". The fucking cheek of it. She paid the bill (£250) and walked out. He seemed surprised she didn't want a second date. Tight AND lacking in self awareness.

I don't understand these people who just pay it. I'd have just paid my share.

Rubbishconfession · 29/02/2024 18:53

JCLV · 29/02/2024 18:35

Maybe you should have paid the whole bill.

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I know, imagine quibbling over a tenner. Stinginess is unattractive in women too.

HandsomeGreige · 29/02/2024 18:53

As a woman, you will be extremely vulnerable if you choose to live a heterosexual life and procreate. Extremely. Whether you take the shortest maternity leave you can or maintain your career- you are carrying those babies and taking the hit. It’s inescapable.

You need to be looked after. You will need to be treasured and valued for the amazing uniquely female thing that you can do. You also should be wanting a father who demonstrates this generosity, kindness and grace to your children.

A man who is apparently seeking a long term relationship, who won’t buy you a glass of wine on your first date is not a kind, generous man. And that’s what it comes down to. You really want to risk derailing your career for a cheapskate loser?

Men who take women on ‘walk dates’ in 5 degree weather like dogs and won’t pick up a 2 drink bill need to be removed from the gene pool. Losers.

And women shag them and get upset later on when they are shit dads and romantic partners who don’t care about making anyone feel special and loved.

and if they can’t afford it? They can’t afford to be dating. How is he going to do nice things with you, go on holidays and pay half the bills if he can’t buy a Nando’s on the first date.

You can get the bill next time if you want- but the first day is for them to dance and peacock, as it is in the wild. If they don’t want to demonstrate kindness, by grabbing a couple of fucking coffees- run.

Rubbishconfession · 29/02/2024 18:54

medianewbie · 29/02/2024 18:38

I once went on a date, with a College lecturer, to an Indian restaurant. He ordered a single poppadom. Just one.
I don't think he'd eaten that kind of food before but it was a bit embarrassing. We split the bill. 2nd date was to a (free) museum & then he said: 'I've made afternoon tea at mine'. It was a tiny plate of shippams bloater paste sandwiches, a French fancy & a cuppa.
He was nice enough but terribly old fashioned. I didn't pursue things.

Why would you make him split the bill when he only had a poppadum?

Hoxite274764 · 29/02/2024 18:55

gannett · 29/02/2024 18:44

Also I wonder if it's possible for a women to be stingy or tight? Just not adjectives you see applied to women much.

Personally I'd also rather have a partner who's sensible and a bit frugal than someone who throws money at stupid shit (like first dates with people he hasn't met before).

Of course it’s possible for women to be tight. Anyone who disagrees with me should watch extreme cheapskates A woman on there washed all of the clothes in the pool 😂. I am a woman btw

Georgyporky · 29/02/2024 18:56

Not exactly a date, but my best friend had been dating a new man (NM), & wanted DH & I to meet him.
Local curry house, cheap as chips. NM was constantly using his 'phone at the table, very rude. When the bill arrived, NM told us precisely how much each of the 4 of us should pay. Even splitting the brinjal 3 ways as he didn't touch it.

There's fair, & there's a tight-fisted git.

kittensinthekitchen · 29/02/2024 18:56

Why are 'journalists' so lazy these days?

SOxon · 29/02/2024 18:58

Moonlightandroses44 · 29/02/2024 16:46

Whatever works for you is fine. I don’t need buying a drink because I’m helpless. It’s something I’d appreciate as an act of generosity from someone who is demonstrating they value me and my time.
if that makes me sexist and outdated I’m totally happy with that. If a man couldn’t or wouldn’t buy me a glass of wine I would assume he wasn’t interested in me. Because to be honest, if he was, he would just buy the glass of wine. It’s a glass of wine.

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Steve Harvey on YouTube - “if a guy asks you out on a date and he’s not prepared..”
I don’t know how to link, sorry

feelingalittlehorse · 29/02/2024 18:59

The one who refused to pay the £8 for the activity we were doing because he didn’t like the thought of women who just lived off their husbands, so he wasn’t paying…….

Goodbye forever, you strange creature 👋

nadine90 · 29/02/2024 18:59

A guy invited me out for dinner at a very fancy, expensive place, insisting that dinner was his treat. He suggested a cocktail first in the bar, I insisted on paying as he said he was getting dinner. He said “ok, I’ll let you get the drinks but dinner is on me”. Fair, I thought.
He kept saying shall we have another cocktail, until I’d bought us 3 each.

Then he said it was time to go and eat, I assumed he’d made a reservation in the restaurant part of said fancy expensive restaurant. Except he was walking to the exit. I asked where we were going and he said “cheeky Nando’s?!”

Well by that point I was hungry and £90 down so I went to Nando’s with him. Ordered the dearest meal I could think of and stuffed my face. He talked absolute bs through the whole meal, tried to kiss me at the end and struggled to take no for an answer. Then accused me of being shallow when I let him down gently (because he was overweight, and that was the only possible reason I didn’t fall head over heels).

EchoChamber · 29/02/2024 19:00

Hoxite274764 · 29/02/2024 16:13

I also used to refuse walking dates. It was obvious they just didn’t want to spend money

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Maybe they were on a low income and couldn't afford to take you out for dinner? In this day and age it shouldn't be expected that a man pays for a woman. Men can be hard up too. It shouldn't preclude them from finding love.

gannett · 29/02/2024 19:02

the first day is for them to dance and peacock, as it is in the wild

We're humans not birds and we don't live in the wild. HTH

acpk55 · 29/02/2024 19:02

gannett · 29/02/2024 18:44

Also I wonder if it's possible for a women to be stingy or tight? Just not adjectives you see applied to women much.

Personally I'd also rather have a partner who's sensible and a bit frugal than someone who throws money at stupid shit (like first dates with people he hasn't met before).

Had 3 dinner dates with a woman, she never paid for anything, not even the tips, she was happy for me to foot the bill, stingy was the word

Hoxite274764 · 29/02/2024 19:04

EchoChamber · 29/02/2024 19:00

Maybe they were on a low income and couldn't afford to take you out for dinner? In this day and age it shouldn't be expected that a man pays for a woman. Men can be hard up too. It shouldn't preclude them from finding love.

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I’m not saying it should. They also refused to even go for a coffee. It’s not that they don’t have £3 to spend on a coffee. They did. They wore designer clothes and went on expensive holidays. But they wouldn’t even meet for a coffee because they did not want to spend money before they saw me. Well fuck that.

Bey · 29/02/2024 19:08

Went for a cuppa in a cafe paid half's, he suggested we go to a pub, he ordered a lemonade I said I'll get these and he said oh in that case I'll get a pint. Really gave me the ick don't mind buying someone a pint just the way he dithered about and changed it when I said I'd pay really put me off

HandsomeGreige · 29/02/2024 19:11

gannett · 29/02/2024 19:02

the first day is for them to dance and peacock, as it is in the wild

We're humans not birds and we don't live in the wild. HTH

Oh gannet 🤡

when it comes down to reproduction- we basically do

except we want men who can support us when we are on stat maternity leave (because growing a baby is our contribution), not a warm cave

a man who won’t pay for a drink on date 1 won’t .

’HTH’s everyone considering this clownery

hangingonfordearlife1 · 29/02/2024 19:11

HandsomeGreige · 29/02/2024 18:53

As a woman, you will be extremely vulnerable if you choose to live a heterosexual life and procreate. Extremely. Whether you take the shortest maternity leave you can or maintain your career- you are carrying those babies and taking the hit. It’s inescapable.

You need to be looked after. You will need to be treasured and valued for the amazing uniquely female thing that you can do. You also should be wanting a father who demonstrates this generosity, kindness and grace to your children.

A man who is apparently seeking a long term relationship, who won’t buy you a glass of wine on your first date is not a kind, generous man. And that’s what it comes down to. You really want to risk derailing your career for a cheapskate loser?

Men who take women on ‘walk dates’ in 5 degree weather like dogs and won’t pick up a 2 drink bill need to be removed from the gene pool. Losers.

And women shag them and get upset later on when they are shit dads and romantic partners who don’t care about making anyone feel special and loved.

and if they can’t afford it? They can’t afford to be dating. How is he going to do nice things with you, go on holidays and pay half the bills if he can’t buy a Nando’s on the first date.

You can get the bill next time if you want- but the first day is for them to dance and peacock, as it is in the wild. If they don’t want to demonstrate kindness, by grabbing a couple of fucking coffees- run.

sorry by this analogy people with low incomes can't afford to fall in love? wtaf??

Noshowlomo · 29/02/2024 19:14

lets not derail an otherwise funny thread

HandsomeGreige · 29/02/2024 19:14

hangingonfordearlife1 · 29/02/2024 19:11

sorry by this analogy people with low incomes can't afford to fall in love? wtaf??

Show quote history

if a man can’t buy chicken and chips or a medium glass of rose on a single first date, no- he has no business risking pregnancy with a woman

why is that so wild?

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 29/02/2024 19:14

HandsomeGreige · 29/02/2024 18:53

As a woman, you will be extremely vulnerable if you choose to live a heterosexual life and procreate. Extremely. Whether you take the shortest maternity leave you can or maintain your career- you are carrying those babies and taking the hit. It’s inescapable.

You need to be looked after. You will need to be treasured and valued for the amazing uniquely female thing that you can do. You also should be wanting a father who demonstrates this generosity, kindness and grace to your children.

A man who is apparently seeking a long term relationship, who won’t buy you a glass of wine on your first date is not a kind, generous man. And that’s what it comes down to. You really want to risk derailing your career for a cheapskate loser?

Men who take women on ‘walk dates’ in 5 degree weather like dogs and won’t pick up a 2 drink bill need to be removed from the gene pool. Losers.

And women shag them and get upset later on when they are shit dads and romantic partners who don’t care about making anyone feel special and loved.

and if they can’t afford it? They can’t afford to be dating. How is he going to do nice things with you, go on holidays and pay half the bills if he can’t buy a Nando’s on the first date.

You can get the bill next time if you want- but the first day is for them to dance and peacock, as it is in the wild. If they don’t want to demonstrate kindness, by grabbing a couple of fucking coffees- run.

I'm so glad that someone else understands this. Him paying for your first date is him demonstrating that he is willing to pay for the kids when you have them, because biology means that you might not be able to pay for them.

This is Female Dating Strategy 101.

Seadreamers · 29/02/2024 19:15

Went out for our first dinner together and we argued over paying 50/50, so in the end we agreed that he would pay. As we stood in the queue to pay he whispered into my ear “I’m paying this time but don’t expect me to pay for you again.”

I was so shocked I was speechless. Stupid me saw him for a couple of months and then gave him the boot - he was very tight with money too. The final straw was him calling me ‘fatty’ - I was a size 8 back then - and he wasn’t joking either. Turned out to be a lying toad so I was well shot of him.

gannett · 29/02/2024 19:16

HandsomeGreige · 29/02/2024 19:11

Oh gannet 🤡

when it comes down to reproduction- we basically do

except we want men who can support us when we are on stat maternity leave (because growing a baby is our contribution), not a warm cave

a man who won’t pay for a drink on date 1 won’t .

’HTH’s everyone considering this clownery

Edited

Show quote history

Having children isn't compulsory for women. Yet another reason I'm happy to be child-free. "Growing a baby" is certainly not my idea of a contribution.

(Among my friends who became mothers, the ones who were really invested in their careers have managed to keep them going, reach new heights etc. It's not automatic career death. One of my friends even did that as a single mum with no man to "look after" her.)

Whyyes · 29/02/2024 19:16

In my experience, the men who get annoyed at women expecting men to pay on dates, are the same men who expect women to do the majority of the cooking and cleaning when married. They're happy to call out sexism only when it negatively affects men

WoofPootle · 29/02/2024 19:17

My sister had a terrible first date, at the time she was a nurse and had just worked a long day, they were meeting for dinner and drinks. She met him and he headed straight to a bar, said he wasn’t hungry and could they just go for drinks instead. He bought himself a drink. She said she’d just worked 8-8 and was starving so he said she could go grab some food, he’d stay in the bar and she could come back and find him once she’d finished! She went for food and headed straight home instead.