Possible TAAT but men who post here.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I'm a tiny bit suspicious that men who post here sometimes do it to coerce or learn how to coerce their DP or DW. One very recent thread was up for what, an hour, before it was withdrawn by the author. All very respectful posts disagreeing with him. MNHQ deleted it though. TAAT but also about lots of threads.

My worry is that he wanted to show his DW. LOOK women agree with me.

I don't know what my point is, and I'm not one of the people who wants to ban men. Maybe that we should be careful.

@NorthernJim - and anyone else who is amazed that there aren't male-oriented spaces on the web.

I give you ...

Pistonheads

... and if you ever wanted to know what men really think about women, that thread is very revealing.

(Oh, and also interesting to note that although there's a really long list of topics on their forum, beyond just cars/bikes, there's absolutely nothing about relationships)

Why would you want separate male and female parenting websites? That would be really…odd.

If you have questions about sleep issues, or battles over screen time, if you’re worried about you child’s relationships with school friends, or a potential eating disorder, or getting into uni, or how to cope when they move out, you just want advice from other parents don’t you? You don’t limit your advice by just getting it from one sex.

Mumsnet is to parenting forums what Netflix is to streaming, or Amazon is to online shopping. There are alternatives out there but it is the market leader and the obvious first place that everyone comes too.

But loads about parenting right @BIWI right? Masses on how to balance work and parenting, how to deal with night wakings, loads of cleaning and cooking threads...

God, @MrsTerryPratchett, I actually read that as 'how to deal with night wankings'. Just shows how only 5 minutes on a male-oriented site messes with your brain

If you have questions about sleep issues

DD didn't sleep for two years. I don't remember a single man on any of those threads. Not one. I remember a shit load of women whose MH was slowly destroyed by night and early wakings.

I'd love a breakdown of the board by male memberships. There's reasons I think Relationships is where they hand out. And many of them aren't great.

<snort>

Pfft come off it nesbi. Most of the blokes on here aren't posting about screen time or worries about children's friendship groups. 🙄

Well, I remember I found MN about 13 years ago when my my wife and I were struggling to conceive, and I was finding it a real struggle at the time.

I got great advice and support from people who had been through it, and have been here under various names ever since.

Most of the time there is no need to make a point of saying you’re a man on a thread if it is about sleep issues or whatever (not least because it ends up sounding like “Man here!…” which plenty of poster hate).

Perhaps on the Relationships board the sex of posters is more obvious though.

Don’t appreciate males on mumsnet at all. The clue is in the title.

Of course no one knows who a poster is. Males are usually quite obvious. I’m sure there are a few male lurkers as well.

Yeah but you (and all the other blokes) perpetually and pretty much exclusively hunker down in Relationships and AIBU to slag women off and tell women posters that they don't consider men enough in everything they do. When was the last time you gave tips on toddler sleep problems? Or discussed the best way to get baby poo stains out of your jumper sleeve? Or advised a woman how best to utilise KIT days?

Well you say that but I just had a quick look back at threads I’m on. I’ve joined in a discussion about One Day on Netflix (I really enjoyed it), gave an opinion on a Money Matters thread, there was something about a problem with Virgin Media, I gave some hopefully supportive advice to someone worried about a mistake at work, have definitely voiced some strident opinions on Pedants Corner about the use of “gotten” and also “gifted” (neither of which actually bother me).

Im afraid I have nothing to share on getting poo stains out of jumpers, although when my oldest was a baby he did projectile poo on my jeans while I was visiting family, and I hadn’t taken a spare pair with me. My only advice in that situation is to get them in the wash as quick as you can (and put your pyjama bottoms on).

Exactly. Nothing to do with parenting.

Like most of the threads on MN! People come for one thing, and end up staying for the chat.

Believe it or not, even though it is billed as a website for parents, not everyone on here wants to have, or even likes, children!!

I remember ShatnersWig. And Pan- he was quite a prolific poster. Not sure if he’s still around. There have been some decent chaps who just hung out and chatted.
Now though the men who post on here (especially the ones pretending to be “ females”) do seem to have an agenda. Like, they have discovered a place on the internet where women talk to each other and it makes them angry for some reason.

Angry, turned on, -splainy, PA, stalky, there's a host of moods. I don't feel any need to venture onto the 90% of the internet by and for men and start 'actually'ing them. Possibly because women that do are routinely sexually harassed and/or threatened.

But the nest of vipers can be less than kindly fragrant at times, which men take agin for some reason.

Yeah I'm not buying that. Not from you or any of the other pistonheads who've followed you here like the vapid little sacks they are. You aren't interested in parenting and you never were. You're here because some burger faced shortcock posted a link to this forum on your site and you suddenly found yourself with Actual Living Proof that there was a part of the internet where women talked to each other without any men around to correct them. Which obviously you had to put a stop to.

FGS there is a DADSNET, why don't they go there?

Precisely. TAAT is not a regular abbreviation on here.

Very good question....

Then you haven't been here for very long @Pigglyplaystruant99! TAAT is widely used, especially on Site Stuff.

I think, having perused one of the landing pages on pistonheads, that the reason men end up coming here is because a) there's a relationships board here and b) there's a sex topic. Neither of which exist on PH.

Which means

• men can either come here to ask for genuine advice about their wife/partner

or

• they use MN as a way to spaff bile about said wife/partner, and have a go at all other women for good measure, and MNetters especially
• and it's a ready source of women happy to share wank stories with them

I do believe that some of them end up here because they're after parenting advice, but I wonder what proportion of them this might be?

But I think we're seeing something else too. Many men like to assert their authority over women. Many men don't like to feel women are organising away from them and feel threatened. Many men are voyeurs or don't respect womens' boundaries and believe their curiosity about women, or their right to be titillated by gaining glimpses of womens' lives they do not usually have access to, is more important than womens' privacy. And almost all men think their sense of entitlement trumps all other considerations in most situation, especially women's feelings.

How else to explain the phenomenon of a thread with women discussing how uncomfortable men are making them feel, and a string of male posters coming on and asserting their right to be here because of what THEY get out of it, ignoring the consequences for women.

Men: if your motives genuinely are benign, then take the hint and leave us alone when we tell you you are making us feel uncomfortable.

@99doshredballoons there are plenty of women on here who aren’t mums

True! I guess many women benefit from what was originally a female only space.

I appreciate other women and mum’s because that is my background. As a mum I benefit from other mum’s views on a variety of things.

As a woman the same - I appreciate other women’s views.

I don’t appreciate males on this forum. We get them taking over in every other area of life.

‘How else to explain the phenomenon of a thread with women discussing how uncomfortable men are making them feel, and a string of male posters coming on and asserting their right to be here because of what THEY get out of it, ignoring the consequences for women.

Men: if your motives genuinely are benign, then take the hint and leave us alone when we tell you you are making us feel uncomfortable’

Precisely. Perfectly put.