Possible TAAT but men who post here.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I'm a tiny bit suspicious that men who post here sometimes do it to coerce or learn how to coerce their DP or DW. One very recent thread was up for what, an hour, before it was withdrawn by the author. All very respectful posts disagreeing with him. MNHQ deleted it though. TAAT but also about lots of threads.

My worry is that he wanted to show his DW. LOOK women agree with me.

I don't know what my point is, and I'm not one of the people who wants to ban men. Maybe that we should be careful.

Haha. To be honest, I don't even mind if they want more sex. Frankly, I want more sex, and I completely understand how important it can be. But it's this wide-eyed, wordy "I just don't understand what my wife wants, I only want to make her happy despite how difficult she is"... All the while the poor woman is probably doing the ironing in the next room! These men seem to come here for validation - I suspect they want the moral high ground and mummy's approval more than they actually want to step up and get real.

The sex topic is crawling with men, it's gross.

And yet strangely, one has never been sighted in living memory on SEN parenting boards.

Quelle surprise.

Ha ha! Guilty as charged, this was me.

It didn't work, but I stayed for the education anyway.

I joined MN for a parenting resource. As a single parent I find it's an invaluable place to get a female/maternal opinion on matters because I have to fill that roll for my children since my ex is completely bonkers and incapable of it.

I only post under this username when I want it to be obvious that I'm a man, most of the time it's just less hassle to post under a more innocuous name. I don't know of any male only forums on the internet, don't see why everything shouldn't be open to all, anything else is just sexist. The man hating and institutionalised misandry on MN is sometimes off the scale.

You don't know of any male only forums on the internet?😂

The world is arranged to suit men. There's lots of forums for you. Not so many for us, women

@NorthernJim "The man hating and institutionalised misandry on MN is sometimes off the scale."

I don't have the same perception as you, because I'm a woman and you're a man. MN is primarily a women's space, uniquely so, where we can honestly and openly discuss the day-to-day experiences of being women, which include being abused by men. I really don't appreciate a man entering into this space and criticising us as 'man haters' etc. There are multiple male-only forums where you can go for male-validation.

I just think its strange for men to want to be in a womens' forum. I shudder at the thought of being in a men's forum. Where are their wives/partners anyway whilst theyre sitting reading Mumsnet posts, and tapping away with their replies to women? I sometimes think the women who make sarky comments whenever more than 1 woman disagrees with a man, or are the 1st to 'yeah but' when men are discussed, are men too but don't say so

my ex is completely bonkers and incapable of it

Theres another thread about the vast number of men diagnosing their exes as crazy, bonkers etc

Medically trained saints these men, every last one of them no doubt.

There does seem to have been an influx lately, all complaining about women. Some of them try to go undercover (eg "I am female" - which no woman would ever say) but you can still spot them a mile off, wanging on about the same old toot. It's tedious. We have to listen to men all the time everywhere else. Just let us have this one little corner to ourselves.

Sighs. Responses from three self confessed male posters on this thread alone. Why doesn't this surprise me?

BIWI · Yesterday 16:06
... and it always turns out to be that he wants more sex
Show quote history
Ha ha! Guilty as charged, this was me.

The man hating and institutionalised misandry on MN is sometimes off the scale.

get a female/maternal opinion on matters because I have to fill that roll for my children since my ex is completely bonkers and incapable of it.
The crazy and psycho ex...

and they wonder why some women aren't thrilled to see them on the relationship boards.

@billyt I'm so sorry for your loss

Me too. TAAT = thread about a thread.

I googled a parenting question and it led me here.

This is allegedly not a women's forum. It's supposedly a forum for parents.

Agree with you, OP.
I’m just done. I’m completely done with giving way to men, being interrupted and talked over by men, being talked down to by men, lectured by men, and in other ways pushed. I’m no longer allowing them to pressure me to be silent and complicit in my own dehumanization. If they don’t like it, TOO BAD.
they can whine all they want, flip the narrative all they want, say “if this were the other way around, MN posters would,,.”
guess what, that sentence shows - right when someone trots it out like it’s Brilliant and New- that the person using it is of sub-par intelligence.
there is a power imbalance, and there has been for hundreds of years, so it’s NOT the other way around, and there’s a reason for the considerations shown when the protagonist is a woman and the antagonist is a man- women are killed by their partners. Full stop.

and I’m SICK of men elbowing their way into our spaces and saying “men are killed too,” just seriously fuck off to the Andrew Tate fan forums with that petty bullshit.

@Newnamehiwhodis Totally agree with you.

@PToosher Read this https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/39118/pdf/

September 2021 submission by Mumsnet to a parliamentary committee. It includes the statement: "The vast majority of our users are women. We are the only female-dominated, female run and female-owned, large-scale English-language website. We understand the volume of abuse that women face online. Our founder has been the target of harassment, bomb threats and ‘swatting’ by men’s rights activists."

say “if this were the other way around, MN posters would,,.”

It gets said so often I have a pre-prepared rant, rather than my bespoke rants for other things.

This is quite disrespectful considering women who post about their abusive or unstable partners are not met with such dismissive reactions.

Yep, fair point.

One of the most interesting ama's on here I've read was from a man, he was an father of 4 adopted siblings, really insightful ama. Very nice person.

So I'm not against men posting.

But I'm 100% in agreement with @MrsTerryPratchett's concerns and i also read threads written by men and feel they're written in a way to almost guide our opinion. Like a politicians speech, it is rarely impartially (unsure if that's the word I mean!) Written, it almost has a leading quality to it, like it knows where it wants to take you and what the response of the reader should be. I worry about that myself.

Yep.

And the male and female pattern conditioning here is very evident.

Woman gives well reasoned and qualifed voice to her concerns, three men bundle in and insist on their rights, without pausing to reflect on their position or their impact on other peole or the legitimacy of women's concerns. No they bulldoze straighthrough convinced of their entitlement. That's male conditioning right there.

They should be kept of our relationships boards. Vulnerable women are trying to escape controlling and coercive male behavious, experiences of being gas lit and worse, and they don't need men in that space telling them why they are wrong, selfish etc.

The issue is that there is a general theme of men coming on the relationships board to complain that they never get to see their children because of their "crazy ex"

They never want to listen to the answer- to to court for custody- they just want female validation that their ex is in the wrong and preferrably women to do the mental work of telling them how to get around the law

I've never yet seen a woman post on here about how her abusive ex has custody of the kids but she just can't go to court for a whole list of spurious reasons yet apparently the country is littered with crazy mothers abusing their children and fathers who can't do anything about it

If the thread goes for long enough there are a few men who hang around who like to jump in and claim that it's impossible, the family courts are biased against men and that women are "using" domestic violence shelters to gain the courts sympathy. If they post for long enough it's clear to see why a DV shelter was needed.

And quite frankly the word crazy has been weaponised against women for generations. If the women are abusive call them abusive. If the women have mental health problems say that. But men moaning about crazy women just sound bitter that they can't lock women up in a mental institution any more when they are bored with them