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Original poster

Boyfriend’s friends

58 replies

ChrisHuw · 24/02/2024 17:29

My boyfriend went out for a night out last week with three of his friends. I had absolutely no problem with this and hoped he had a nice night out.

he seemed to enjoy it but then a few days later let slip that all of the wives and partners of the other men were there. He then admitted that they wives etc come most times the friends meet up.

when we first got together, he didn’t tell his friends we were together for a couple of years.

he says he didn’t ask me because he didn’t think I’d want to come.

im quite upset about this but he says that I am overreacting. Am I?

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 24/02/2024 17:54

I can pretty much guarantee that there is nothing wrong with you. He was attracted to you enough to ask you out presumably? He chooses to spend time with you otherwise? Have sex with you?

You are the least attractive of all the partners? What does that say about him that he's in a relationship with you?

This is all about his insecurities and feelings of inadequacy and not anything to do with you.

You can do better.

5128gap · 24/02/2024 17:56

ChrisHuw · 24/02/2024 17:47

@GreyCarpet hes told me that he thinks I am the least attractive of all the partners.

Writing this down sounds a bit surreal

Your partner has serious self esteem issues. Sounds like he's a hanger on to this group and feels like he needs to impress to be allowed to remain part of it. Because no ordinary friendship group of mutual like and respect would care less about what each others partners looked like. He's projecting his insecurity on to you in the most despicable way. You should leave him.

Branleuse · 24/02/2024 17:59

How insulting.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 24/02/2024 18:02

Bloody hell OP

What a jerk, you should get rid!

Wishimaywishimight · 24/02/2024 18:06

The moment he insulted you is the moment you should have dumped him. You didn't so he knows he can treat you badly with no consequences.

He has now insulted you again by making it clear he doesn't want you around on couples nights out.

Bestyearever2024 · 24/02/2024 18:09

I say this with kindness - please grow a backbone, get some self esteem and realise that you are WAY WAY too good for this fucking jerk

Do NOT put up with his treatment of you

Get rid of the wanker

Shitlord · 24/02/2024 18:11

That's awful. I think you should dump him. So what if you were (I mean it's subjective anyway but even if they were all A list film stars)? Is be that why he's excluded you? A decent partner would never compare you or be less than glad to be out with you. Other women would have nothing to do with it.

Foxblue · 24/02/2024 18:14

He said WHAT to you?
Girl, there are so many fish in the sea that aren't rotting at the fins. Throw this one BACK.

Nonewclothes2024 · 24/02/2024 18:16

ChrisHuw · 24/02/2024 17:47

@GreyCarpet hes told me that he thinks I am the least attractive of all the partners.

Writing this down sounds a bit surreal

Cheeky bastard. Is he Brad Pitt ?

Moveoverdarlin · 24/02/2024 18:18

ChrisHuw · 24/02/2024 17:47

@GreyCarpet hes told me that he thinks I am the least attractive of all the partners.

Writing this down sounds a bit surreal

I would reply to this by saying ‘You’re the worst looking out of all my friend’s husbands so we’re a good match.

Original poster
ChrisHuw · 24/02/2024 18:19

@Nonewclothes2024 he isn’t Brad Pitt. I think he looks fine but he is 12 years older than me, losing his hair and is a little bit overweight. But that’s not important to me and I’d never judge him or make him feel bad about his looks.

OP posts:
Nonewclothes2024 · 24/02/2024 19:34

ChrisHuw · 24/02/2024 18:19

@Nonewclothes2024 he isn’t Brad Pitt. I think he looks fine but he is 12 years older than me, losing his hair and is a little bit overweight. But that’s not important to me and I’d never judge him or make him feel bad about his looks.

So you’re a nicer person than him. Don’t let him treat you like this.

dapsnotplimsolls · 24/02/2024 19:40

How long have you been together?

pinkyredrose · 24/02/2024 19:43

ChrisHuw · 24/02/2024 17:47

@GreyCarpet hes told me that he thinks I am the least attractive of all the partners.

Writing this down sounds a bit surreal

Fuck that for a laugh. Dump this wanker.

Fraaahnces · 24/02/2024 19:43

You obviously need to lose some weight @ChrisHuw … Start by losing the millstone around your neck that is supposed to be your partner. The next weight will fall off you and that will be the weight you feel carrying around HIS insecurities.

Huffalot · 24/02/2024 19:52

I remember once my ex dp didn't introduce me or act like he was with me when we'd not long started dating. I asked if if he was ashamed of me and he kissed my forehead and said "of course I am" I didn't leave OP and I wish to fuck I had. He was an absolute bastard to me resulting in a 5yr relationship including losing two children. I let him ruin my MH and had to get counselling. I've never been in a ltr since and I'm not a supermodel but I'm definitely not a hag but I could never trust my judgement after that and I split with him in 2004.

Don't do it to yourself. You're worth 10 of him x

xyz111 · 24/02/2024 20:02

ChrisHuw · 24/02/2024 17:47

@GreyCarpet hes told me that he thinks I am the least attractive of all the partners.

Writing this down sounds a bit surreal

What?????? And why do you want to be with this person? You deserve so much better.

Sceptical123 · 24/02/2024 23:06

Kittycat333 · 24/02/2024 17:53

He's a cunt who is ashamed of you. The friends probably don't know about you. Dump him.

Sadly I think he’s kept your existence a secret or played you down re the seriousness of your relationship.

He may want to appear single for any number of reasons. Weird he wouldn’t want you there at a couples meet up. He clearly doesn’t respect or love you. So sorry x

Please end it OP

determinedtomakethiswork · 24/02/2024 23:31

ChrisHuw · 24/02/2024 17:47

@GreyCarpet hes told me that he thinks I am the least attractive of all the partners.

Writing this down sounds a bit surreal

What a cruel man. Honestly, you can do so much better than this and you deserve so much more than this.

RandomForest · 25/02/2024 01:40

Shallow Hal.

Turning into Cruel Hal.

pikkumyy77 · 25/02/2024 01:48

ChrisHuw · 24/02/2024 17:42

I don’t know. Perhaps he is ashamed of me. I’m not that pretty and am quite overweight.

He has not told them he has a gf not because of who you are but because of who he is. I think he is keeping his options open in case his friends fix him up with someone in his social circle.

SheepAndSword · 25/02/2024 02:02

@ChrisHuw you're lovely as you are.

I'd seriously be reevaluating this...you don't need someone who puts you down and excludes you.

Pinkbonbon · 25/02/2024 02:13

RandomForest · 25/02/2024 01:40

Shallow Hal.

Turning into Cruel Hal.

I thought that too but then I remembered even shallow Hal didn't care what his friends thought about the person he liked.

Original poster
ChrisHuw · 25/02/2024 10:56

Thanks everyone. I think I have to end it. I definitely deserve more.

OP posts:
perfectcolourfound · 25/02/2024 11:06

You deserve SO much more.

Keeping you secret for 2 years! Leaving you out of social events. Lying to you. Saying things designed to hurt you. Gaslighting you.

Don't settle for someone who treats you as though they're doing you a favour being with you.

Your OH should delight in you, be proud of you, count their lucky stars they have you, love spending their time with you and having their friends get to know you (and vice versa ofcourse).

He isn't a good man. He will grind you down and wreck your self esteem.

You are a much better person that he has shown himself to be, and you deserve better.