Dating thread 245

[SamW98]

Continued from 244….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

🤣 i love how candid you are lol

@JH20000 It sounds like pausing the apps/getting off this thread would be a good idea. It's all so time-consuming! All the best with your time away.

I don't have much to report - irons Mr Photographer and Mr Bohemian still ticking away. I have two new chats - Mr Peru and Mr Wildlife. Both come across well in their chats, especially Mr Wildlife, and I have a potential date on Friday with Mr Peru. No red flags so far. Mr Wildlife has never been married and has no kids. I don't know why I noted that - he's the first such man I've met on OLD.

So I have a coffe date planned for the weekend with Mr younger. I came off the apps but took him with me. We have done phone calls which have lasted a couple of hours much to my surprise! Easy to talk to which is a bonus and seems normal.

@Poppyzo sounds good I am in a similar situation matched with a guy 6 weeks ago have met up twice (unable to do more due to work/family commitments) and meeting up again this week.
Last night we had a really serious chat about if we could see this developing into a relationship as on paper we should be perfect for each other (communication is great we text loads and can chat on the phone for anything up to 4 hours at a time and only feels like an hour plus a definite attraction spark there) and have both said we want to take things further but are scared of messing it up/hurting each other. Have decided together to see where it goes and take things slowly. I really like him and he seems to really like me (texts are mutual as to who starts them nit just one sided etc) 🤞🤞we could be making progress.

@2anddone that sounds lovely. It’s early days here. I’ve got my fingers crossed for you! I was dating someone I met on the app before but it didn’t seem as easy as this. Maybe I wasn’t ready to let someone in. I feel hopeful so we will see…

@Poppyzo fingers crossed for you too!!

@Livelifelaughter

I think maybe your expectations were mismatched. If I was going for a coffee date, I wouldn’t even think about there being any food involved. A coffee date is just that - coffee. And a bit confused as to why you’d expect him to call the waitress over if you wanted a soft drink - why not call them yourself?

Q because I’m clueless… Do you think a guy (newish IRL friend but possibly more) randomly asking when your birthday is, is slightly weird? I made a joke about why, working on my present etc… but he didn’t elaborate. Maybe it’s normal chat, or maybe it’s a way of letting someone know you’re interested in them. Maybe he’s stealing my ID 😂

@2anddone love this, a normal and open chat, yes!

We have chatted about dates of birthdays and trigger dates...dates we got married, separated etc don't think it's that odd it's all part of getting to know someone

Thanks @2anddone

yes sounds like I’m overthinking but think it was because it was asked in a random stand alone message.

He’s lovely but a friends thing. Which is nice while resting my dating mojo

You never know it could develop into more!

Maybe he wants to know your star sign?

That was my first thought. I always ask about birthdays as I’m into star signs and compatibility.

@Bowbobobo @SamW98

Me too and have checked (completely incompatible Libra + Capricorn)

As a Libra I’ve had the best compatibility with Leos (but in a crazy obsessive way) but tend to end up with Virgos which never goes well…

Im a Scorpio so my ideals are Cancer and Pisces however I seem to keep matching with fecking Gemini’s

I’m a Scorpio too, marriage and previous boyfriend were Virgos, current guy is Aquarius, I don’t think I’m doing this right 😂

Can I join in on her please? New to OLD and feel like I've ventured into this whole subculture I don't understand 🤣 I have a potential date on Sunday and am freaking out!

Haven’t heard from him.

Oh well.

It’s like a parallel universe at times 🤣

Being single for a period of time for first time ever in my adult life, it’s a whole world I had no idea existed

It totally is a parallel universe!

I'm learning the hard way about what so many people complain about men making no effort. But then you see men complaining about feeling constantly rejected so I don't know what to think! I feel like I'm the one doing all the instigating atm and it's not really the tone I want to set for a future relationship TBH.

@Crushed23 if he is on a work trip he might be busy...give him time you might hear from him at the weekend if not you could text a chatty...hope the work trip went well.
Have you messaged him since the date?

Because I would like someone who shows they care about me with small gestures and thoughtfulness. He would be paying for the drinks so it wouldn't seem appropriate for me to call over the waitress and order more. I think there is a mismatch.

@Livelifelaughter maybe you could have just asked him if it was ok to order a drink? Or if you were really thirsty, just ordered a glass of tap water. Also you say it was 'the afternoon' not lunchtime or dinnertime, so maybe it didn't occur to him that you were hungry?

It's nice to have your needs considered I agree, if gentlemanliness is a deal breaker for you then maybe he's not a good choice. Trust your gut!

Glad I've found you all. I've not 'dated' for nearly 20 years. Single for 4, signed up for Bumble nearly a month ago and feeling scarred already. First couple of weeks were ok but last week felt like I'd fallen into some kind of seedy subculture. Todays best delight was JasonMarried, 52 who doesn't mind if I am also already attached to someone else. At least he is being upfront about it I guess.

I've been on 3 'dates', I quite liked the last one but he is a walking red flag so that's no good.

I know it's not ideal to do a lot of messaging back and forth before actually meeting but equally to meet with no chat or idea of what kind of person they may be is very difficult.

Basic question which I should be able to figure out but on Bumble all the profiles I can see, have they all swiped right on my profile so in theory they should be open to receiving a message from me? Or is that just everyone within the radius that I have set? I've already lowered my age range slightly as so many of them looked half dead. But don't really want to be the older woman either.