Dating thread 245

[SamW98]

Continued from 244….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@NervesOfCotton echoing this. Babe 🤮 and really not a great attitude!

Oh yeah being called 'babe' seldom ends well if it's a stranger

Oh yes babe, sweetheart, darling, gorgeous or the cringiest one I had - hot stuff in the first few messages never makes me want to continue the conversation

Someone told me "I'd like to put a collar on you, pet." I was like wot r u on about m8 🤣 I'm a human being, not a mountain lion 😅

cassiatwenty

It's fine, if I'm a lone voice who doesn't mind being called babe etc, then you can all send the 'babe-ers' my way

I was always told they call you ‘babe’ etc when they’re chatting to lots of women and don’t want to get the name wrong 🤣

So I've been chatting with a guy in tinder for about a week or so. He seems lovely, very easy to talk to, lots of questions etc etc.
he's asked to meet up, agreed the time and place (weekend) and now I've not heard from him.
This is fine, as I don't want to talk none stop now we've arranged to meet up incase we're not a good fit, but is this also normal?

@cassiatwenty well funny enough weird sex fetish man was into collars and things around the neck. Which just set off all manner of sirens in my mind!

@SamW98 That just made me laugh 😅 @NervesOfCotton I liked it too before but never any dates

@Pepsimaxedout me too! Wow a complete stranger I met online wants to tie me up, what could possibly go wrong

@mumofoneanddone82 I'm in the North West and it's not much better up here! I'm in my 40s and got two kids. I WFH so it's hard to meet people. And I seem to attract weirdos!!

@SamW98 it's the randomness of it that gets me. I've never met you but would you suck my dick? They wouldn't say this crap to women in the supermarket checkout queue would they?! But bringing up so early in the conversation makes me think it's a BIG thing for them. Grim.

@cassiatwenty I am very guarded now with the sex pest stuff. Instant block. Asking for sexy pics is an instant block. I want company as well as sex thanks.

SamW98 I forgot a dates name once
He had a random username & told me his name once, online, then for some reason I deleted his messages & had him saved on my phone under his username, & had a complete blank on what his name was! So I had to confess on our first date

I was way off, I was thinking like 'Alan' & it was more like 'George'.

I actually had one who wouldn’t tell me his name 🤣🤣 He says he’s only ever known by his nickname so that’s what he wanted me to call him.

Though once he was in my contacts he came up as ‘people you might know’ on FB with his real name. So I called him it and he got really funny about how I knew - oh plus he was one who lied about his height and age as well. Muppet

I'm also someone who enjoys a regular amount of communication when seeing someone.

It doesn't have to be every day, but I don't understand how they can be thinking about you so much (as they say), yet not get in touch.

In the 2 weeks since my last date with Mr Pan he's initiated texts on two occasions and called me once. I've called him once (he didn't answer as he'd just got back from dropping his DC off) and initiated texts 3 times, including suggesting meeting up this week, but nothing.

I don't know whether it's normal for the chat to be like this in your 40's, but it just doesn't feel like enough regular contact to build a deeper connection during the getting to know you stage when you can't be in person due to DC.

I've been back on Tinder since last week, as I feel like he's keeping me on the back burner as a warm prospect, but nothing happening there either :-(

Does it irritate any other ladies here when you see a profile which says:

6'1" (if that's important)

I find myself irrationally annoyed as SO many men write it (whatever their height is lol).

Anything else on your list?

i hate it when men list their issues with online dating.

“No filters
no you can’t know my salary
no I won’t pay the whole bill
no I don’t want to see you when you don’t have your kids in 3 weeks.

no I don’t want to go for a walk

etc.

just comes across as bitter and impatient.

Lol at your list @Sparkleswinston.

I must admit to also disliking overly negative profile, so like you listed "no this no that" is off-putting so I tend to swipe left on those.

I saw one earlier that said ‘don’t bother matching if you’re a woman who nags’

In other words ‘don’t dare call me out on my twatty behaviour’

The big negative list is basically a big list of reasons why you need to swipe left!

I am ready to throw the towel in today. I've had a rubbish day anyway and it's definitely the kind of day I feel lonely and miss having a partner. Then I face all the crap on the apps. Urgh.

It’s the camper van thing on retiring that gets me. It’s all some of them aspire to. I’m sorry but my bucket list is way longer.

I'm sorry your day's been hard and I know how that feels. Some days are just a tad too much and they make us feel even more lonely @Pepsimaxedout

@Pepsimaxedout sending hugs! Feeling the same!!! I feel like I must have swiped over two thousand guys over the past week and the ones I have matched with are so dry! Think I'm going to be single forever BUT I always remind myself single is better than being in some really hideous relationship! Off to have a cup of tea and chocolate bar and do some more swiping! I joined match.com and paid for three months! I find it the most painful of all the sites I've been on

@mumofoneanddone82 I am glad you mentioned how bad match is for you. I was about to part with money to go on there. I have hit a wall too. I’m keeping hinge open til weekend to check my account doesn’t auto renew (switched it off), bumble just awful here and resorted to Facebook which is argh! I need a break after the weekend as it’s making me feel shitty too

@mumofoneanddone82 that’s interesting as I’m on Match and have found it ok - way better than Bumble. I’ve had quite a few conversations on there and a few dates, it’s quite entertaining at times 😂 but it’s been quite productive so far (one month in)!

Match is shocking. DO NOT buy a subscription.

it’s the same men, no replies and useless to use.

I’ve found Bumble and Hinge to be the best but it’s just a numbers game. At least with Hinge you can just say hello to someone you like the look of.